Rating: 
Summary: So very sad...
Review: How do I begin this review? In one way, I feel a sisterhood of sorts with Barbara. She had to blaze a trail so to speak so that the rest of us may learn from it. I too am a mother of a child with AS. I can relate to a lot of her frustration. What I cannot relate to is her evident ambivalence, (dare I say at times contempt) for her child. The book is well written, from the standpoint that it was an easy read, and the author does a fine job with descriptives. I wanted to read on and on. I guess I was looking for that happy ending. Maybe I expected Barbara to have a definitive "lightbulb moment" where she realized that Ben was indeed a valuable, worthwhile person who was worthy of a Mothers' unconditional love. I cried at so much of what Ben went through.His trials and tribulations. The abuse at the hands of strangers. It was poignant..He is every bit the survivor. The first thing I did upon finishing the book was hug my Son. I didn't want to let go. I am sorry if this review sounds conflicted. It was a worthwhile read, but the sorrow I felt while reading it and afterward is something people should be prepared for. I had expected an uplifting book, based on the other reviews at the time I purchased the book. Kudos to Ben for allowing his story to be told. We can all learn from what he went through.
Rating: 
Summary: Highly recommend
Review: I bought this book at the recommendation of a good friend and read it straight through as soon as it arrived. I highly recommend this book for all parents of children with Asperger Syndrome. Parents of adult children with AS will likely recognize the frustration of no diagnosis, but it has something to offer parents of any age child. It is a very personal story that will touch the heart of all readers. I cried several times while reading this book. I cried for Ben, I cried for his mother, I cried for my own child and I cried for myself. We love our AS children. We want the very best for them and always to see them in a positive light, but the truth is that sometimes it's very hard. It was refreshing to read a book that touched on some of pain and reality that few are comfortable discussing. I don't want anyone to think that this book is a complete downer or that it portrays AS in a negative light. It's about a journey--one that every parent of a child with AS must take. Some of those journeys will be easier and some will be harder but in the end we all share common experiences and will relate to this story. I truly believe that some of what I learned while reading Finding Ben will make me a better parent to my own child. Thanks to the author.
Rating: 
Summary: Can't get past the glaring lack of common sense...
Review: I can appreciate Barbara LaSalle's incredible struggles with her AS son Ben - there was so little information or proven avenues of treatment back in the "early days", and you as a parent were really on your own - and I do applaud their honesty in telling their story. However, I can't help but wonder WHY Ms. LaSalle was so easily manipulated by others when it came to raising her own child. As a mother of a special-needs child, I too can find myself with almost overwhelming bouts of self-doubt, confusion and frustration. (By no means do I set myself up as any kind of Perfect Mom.) However, I would never be so weak as to allow those of dubious qualifications (an obviously "in-denial" ex-husband, clueless and careless therapists, etc.) to override my gut maternal instincts. I mean, you just know when something isn't right...and when it's your child in question, you don't sit back and wait - you get out there and fight! I felt myself getting angry at Ms. LaSalle much more often than I felt sympathy.
I also agree with the reviewer who mentioned the insanity of allowing Ben to not only drive a car, but drive ALONE! That lack of pure and simple common sense just left me shaking my head in amazement that a caregiver could be so blind and irresponsible. And...allowing a child with obvious social and behavioral issues to be shipped off to a boarding school? With no adequate supervision? No qualified health professionals on staff to monitor the child's progress? I can't even imagine what rationale Ms. LaSalle created within herself to agree to such a thing.
Did you ever see a film/read a book that, in order to have the story progress, a major character has to do something ridiculous that no sensible person would do? Unfortunately, that's the kind of frustration I felt continuously through this book.
I began reading "Finding Ben" hoping for a truthful account of a mother's personal experiences through the "spectrum disorder" jungle, maybe to make some comparisons to my own current situation, or to find some kinship with another battle-weary special-needs parent. However, by the end of the book, I felt that my time could have been spent more wisely elsewhere. I'll keep looking.
Rating:
Summary: Heartbreaking and uplifiting
Review: I didn't know anything about Asperger's Syndrome before reading this book, and very little about autism. No matter. I was sucked in from the very first page and did not want to put it down until I was finished. This is a compelling and heartbreaking story, but at the end, my heart was so full that my eyes glistened with tears. Yes, this is a tough read, but in the end it is fulfilling and can help teach you a lot about yourself, regardless of any connection to autism. It's about learning how to love in the best way you can, and how to let others be who they must be, and loving them for that. An extremely moving and involving book.
Rating:
Summary: Life Changing . . .
Review: I find precious little reading time, yet I got this book Friday night and finished it Sunday morning. The brutal honesty sucks you in from the start. I don't know who I like more--Barbara or Ben. The writing is incredible, and the story is heart-breaking, but one that needs to be told. I've been planning to write a book about our own journey through autism, and after reading this one, I'm ready. I didn't realize the depth I needed to reach to tell our story, and now I do. Thanks to Barbara and Ben. I thought I'd sweep around all those dark little corners in our story, and everyone would be happy. Now I realize that exposing those dark little corners, no matter how painful, is what matters most. Ben, I want to protect you from everything you've already gone through, and Barbara, I can SO relate to you, it's scary. Your book is simply amazing, and I'm struggling to put it into words. Anyone who even remotely knows someone on the autistic spectrum needs to hear this story. In the past few days, I've hugged my autistic son with an intensity that surpasses what I felt when he was a baby and I still thought he was "normal." This book is simply life changing.
Rating:
Summary: Candid and Encouraging
Review: I have recently become involved in the life of a child with Asperger's Syndrome through my relationship with his father. After raising a "normal" child myself, I found myself drifting through this maze of "AS" that Barbara LaSalle describes in the book FINDING BEN. Her candid descriptions of her feelings and her realization of what she needed to do as a parent of her remarkable yet frustrating son helped me tremendous. I was on the brink of realizing that I needed to accept the "AS" child in my life as he was and not try to make him something he wasn't. This book helped me understand that I was on the right track, finally! I'm sure I'll still have frustrating days with our "Ben" but I will never again feel as though I'm alone in my struggles. The comments by Barbara's son, Ben, were wonderful and I can't thank him enough for being open about his feelings and his difficulties. He really is incredible. I emailed the author with a question of my own and received a quick and ready response within hours. How refreshing for me to be able to ask a question that has troubled me for months. You will find this book entertaining and informational even if Asperger's Syndrome is a brand new topic for you. And if you're a part of this world of "AS" people, it shouldn't disappoint you.
Rating:
Summary: Candid and Encouraging
Review: I have recently become involved in the life of a child with Asperger's Syndrome through my relationship with his father. After raising a "normal" child myself, I found myself drifting through this maze of "AS" that Barbara LaSalle describes in the book FINDING BEN. Her candid descriptions of her feelings and her realization of what she needed to do as a parent of her remarkable yet frustrating son helped me tremendous. I was on the brink of realizing that I needed to accept the "AS" child in my life as he was and not try to make him something he wasn't. This book helped me understand that I was on the right track, finally! I'm sure I'll still have frustrating days with our "Ben" but I will never again feel as though I'm alone in my struggles. The comments by Barbara's son, Ben, were wonderful and I can't thank him enough for being open about his feelings and his difficulties. He really is incredible. I emailed the author with a question of my own and received a quick and ready response within hours. How refreshing for me to be able to ask a question that has troubled me for months. You will find this book entertaining and informational even if Asperger's Syndrome is a brand new topic for you. And if you're a part of this world of "AS" people, it shouldn't disappoint you.
Rating:
Summary: Candid and Encouraging
Review: I have recently become involved in the life of a child with Asperger's Syndrome through my relationship with his father. After raising a "normal" child myself, I found myself drifting through this maze of "AS" that Barbara LaSalle describes in the book FINDING BEN. Her candid descriptions of her feelings and her realization of what she needed to do as a parent of her remarkable yet frustrating son helped me tremendous. I was on the brink of realizing that I needed to accept the "AS" child in my life as he was and not try to make him something he wasn't. This book helped me understand that I was on the right track, finally! I'm sure I'll still have frustrating days with our "Ben" but I will never again feel as though I'm alone in my struggles. The comments by Barbara's son, Ben, were wonderful and I can't thank him enough for being open about his feelings and his difficulties. He really is incredible. I emailed the author with a question of my own and received a quick and ready response within hours. How refreshing for me to be able to ask a question that has troubled me for months. You will find this book entertaining and informational even if Asperger's Syndrome is a brand new topic for you. And if you're a part of this world of "AS" people, it shouldn't disappoint you.
Rating: 
Summary: Spoiled brat and overbearing mother
Review: I see this a book about a spoiled brat who to his determent uses his gifts to get his way with a weak willed mother. I also see a mother who delegates her prenatal responsibilities and blames her failures on those to whom she delegated her duties. The mother delegates the responsibility to some outsider. After 32 hours of instruction and a warning from the step father, she should realize that her son has a problem driving but gives him a car to drive without even driving with him once to see if he is up to the responsibility. What kind of lazy, socially irresponsible person is that. The real problem which this book does not seem to address is how to teach AS people how to understand and be more accommodating of the NT crowd. This book shows AS people in a undeserved light. The only good it serves is how not to handle the situation.
Rating:
Summary: Spoiled brat and overbearing mother
Review: I see this a book about a spoiled brat who to his determent uses his gifts to get his way with a weak willed mother. I also see a mother who delegates her prenatal responsibilities and blames her failures on those to whom she delegated her duties. The mother delegates the responsibility to some outsider. After 32 hours of instruction and a warning from the step father, she should realize that her son has a problem driving but gives him a car to drive without even driving with him once to see if he is up to the responsibility. What kind of lazy, socially irresponsible person is that. The real problem which this book does not seem to address is how to teach AS people how to understand and be more accommodating of the NT crowd. This book shows AS people in a undeserved light. The only good it serves is how not to handle the situation.
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