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Summary: I am not alone!
Review: Sue Patton Thoele is by far the most insightful, intelligent, witty and honest author to bring to light the issues of Stepmothers - issues that unless you have been through it yourself, you cannot understand. As a new Stepmom, I was searching for something, anything to help me understand and accept my new life. The Courage to Be a Stepmom, was and IS my lifeline. I have read it at least 5 times and refer to it regularly to help me through particularly difficult times. This book was a God-send.
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Summary: For stressed-out stepmothers who want to learn to relax.
Review: Sue Patton Thoele's book, "The Courage to Be a Stepmom" is well written and speaks to stepmothers as not just stepmothers but as women and caretakers who need to remember to take care of themselves as well as their stepfamilies. Her book demonstrates to stepmothers not only the various stepmothering issues and coping strategies but also how to take care of their spiritual, mental, and physical well being throughout the process. Ms Thoele's book also sites personal experiences from her own twenty-five years of stepmothering and her book is wholesome, healing, and easy to read. I enjoyed it very much and highly recommend it to all stepmothers as well as women thinking about becoming a stepmother. Thanks, Angela Thacker
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Summary: One of the best...
Review: The author, a psychotherapist and a stepmother, begins her comforting book by helping the reader understand the impact of her past and present on her family. She stresses the need for flexibility as stepmoms search for the courage to be "teachers of love and connection." She discusses reasonable and realistic expectations and how the stepmom can exercise her right to boundaries without jeopardizing her marriage. The eight concise "stepmuddling" steps are a practical guide for getting through the typical stepfamily struggles. Mrs. Thoele encourages the reader to be a "true friend" to herself by holding on to what sustains her and taking care of her marriage. She also provides tips to guide the stepmom in helping her own children adjust to the new family. You'll find inspiration in "Gathering the Gifts," in which the author discusses the gifts that we receive from stepchildren and the spiritual gifts that we would not have so fully developed in perhaps another family situation. The "Twenty Guidelines for Stepmoms" are right on target and equally applicable to stepdads. One sentence of the book speaks for us all as we struggle to find the courage that we need to succeed in our demanding role against incredible odds: "I believe that I did the best I could considering who I was at the time." Keep doing the best you can where you are.
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Summary: thanks for the reminders... patience and letting go.
Review: The book was an easy read but direction and focus in each chapter was lost. So many subjects were touched on I didn't feel detailed attention and time were used for me to really dig in and say "YES, I understand. I agree. So That's what I can do and Thank you for the advice." I read in entirety however, it's the kind of book you can open to any given page, read a few paragraphs, get a quick lift and put down... The personal experiences shared were those of several women who are mothers them selves and are joining families, which is different than those women who entered a marriage without children of their own. I'm finding that most books about stepmothering are for women who have children of their own and are joining families... this books falls under that category as well. Although I had hope for an actual 'stepmother', not mother/stepmother book "The Courage to be a Stepmom" had plenty to offer. I made note of several excerpts that I intend to use as reference when I'm in need of encouraging words/advice. You will put this book down with a hopeful attitude however it will leave you wanting more. Although, I got a lot out of this book, my search continues to seek MY 'stepmothering bible'...
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Summary: A great addition to the stepfamily literature; highly recomm
Review: The Courage To Be A Stepmom reflects author Sue Patton Thoele's considerable experience in the area of empowering and encouraging women to grow spiritually, intellectually and emotionally. Perhaps more importantly, Ms. Thoele's willingness to draw extensively from her own experience as a stepmother brings the subject matter alive and will leave most readers feeling that it really is okay to take some wrong turns on the long and sometimes arduous journey from novice to "stepmother emeritus." The Courage to Be a Stepmom skillfully covers the basics-keeping expectations reasonable, going slowly, strengthening the marriage, and so on. There's good, practical advice to be found in its pages. However, it moves ahead of many of the contemporary books on stepparenting and stepfamilies in its ability to present its subject in the context of personal growth. Ms. Thoele, often through personal example, encourages stepmothers to continually look within and work with their feelings, expectations and beliefs as they face the challenges of building a successful stepfamily. The underlying premise of the book is that you have to be willing to grow yourself if you want to promote growth in your stepfamily, and secondly, that this is an extremely challenging, sometimes painful, but potentially quite rewarding process. Particularly strong, I think, are her chapters on taking care of yourself. Sue Thoele adeptly blends together established concepts about nurturing the self with anecdotes derived from the nearly forty stepmothers she interviewed for the book. What emerges is a compassionate model for caring for others from a position of caring for yourself. These chapters will be particularly useful to new stepmothers who have a tendency to be self-sacrificing in an effort to win the approval of both their stepchildren and their new spouse-a strategy that almost invariably backfires. The Courage To Be a Stepmom succeeds in its goal to emotionally prepare and inform stepmothers who are new to the role as well as to support and encourage those who are several years into the process. It will be an important tool for women seeking to "survive-and eventually thrive-as a stepmom."
Rating: 
Summary: Halfway Helpful
Review: The first half of this book was very helpful to me and I found myself shaking my head in agreement with many of the other women quoted in the book. However, for me it lacked guidance in the areas of how to handle potential future situations. While noone can predict such, one would think that a writer of such material would have some information to go on for example or from veteran stepmothers' experiences.
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Summary: It's Great to be Sue Patton Thoele
Review: This book was one I read despite the cringing feeling I would experience every few pages. Ms Thoele is very proud of herself and her life, and being a therapist herself, she reminds us at least once in every chapter to seek therapy if we feel overwhelmed by our experiences. She shares many rather personal anecdotes about her own stepfamily situation, and if you don't happen to be in a marriage with 2 adolescents of your own plus 2 adolescent stepkids, you might feel a bit left out - as I did. Having said that, I still found it an uplifting read. It was worth the cringing and the "hanging in there" to reap the positive message of this book: you can make a stepfamily work! When you're in the midst of the daily struggle, this book can serve as a supportive pep talk from a nice older lady who's been there.
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Summary: Not alone
Review: This is truly the best book on stepmothering that I have read. It gives an honest look at being a stepmom and made me feel like I was not the only one. The author did a beautiful job of discussing both the ups and downs of stepmothering. Many of the books I have read before only stated the downs or the horror stories. This one applied most to me and my situation. It helped me see the broader picture and reminded me to take care of myself too. I highly recommend this book to all stepmoms!
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Summary: Finding Some Peace of Mind
Review: Today, in search for some peace of mind, The Courage to be a Stepmom chose me from the bookshelf. The peace of mind I was searching was the peace that had become muddled with my stepmom role--I had looked up sites on the internet about stepparenting, but the ones I found did not match how I felt. This book does. Flipping to random pages, I found it to be honest, helpful, and understandable. Individual sentences spoke volumes to me. Once I started from the beginning, it became a friend-- as it was intended. It acknowledges the frustration and anger, as well as the joy that comes with becoming a stepmom. At a most perfect time, I found the most perfect book for me.
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