Rating: 
Summary: hard 2 read if u were raised like this...
Review: ...so then the question becomes 'what do i need to do to not carry this to my child(ren)?'. because a lot of people just carry on the ways they were brought up to future generations-the cycle is never broken. which is a shame, because it is true that a lot of society's problems are due to how people are raised, whether people want to believe that or not. it takes work, insight, and soul-searching-along with an honest, overbearing desire-to not carry on toxic behaviors to the future. it's not good enough to say 'well nobody's perfect; we are all the product of dysfunction'-you don't know how many times i heard that statement-and it hurts to hear that as a rationale for how bad you were raised. i could go on and on. a worthy read for anyone feeling they need some advice on what to do to not be one of these people these chapters talk about.
Rating: 
Summary: So what else is new?
Review: Although I don't agree with everything they say, I think the Friels' recommendations are generally sensible and well-thought-out, and I like their "we don't know everything, so do what works for you" attitude. On the other hand, the book is being marketed as a return to Traditional Values in Parenting, a corrective to an overly permissive era of child psychology run amok, and that's just flat-out not true. I was raised in the 1950's, which conservatives hark back to as the Golden Age of American Values. My parents made four of the seven mistakes listed in this book: they put their marriage last, they pushed their children into too many activities, and they expected their children to fulfill all their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions. And, while they didn't "baby" us in the sense of indulging infantile behavior, they did resist every effort we made to grow up and become autonomous. While I think the Friels are doing a great service to parents by addressing these issues, they're mistakes that arise out of common parental mind-sets, rather than being aberrations of child psychology in the second half of the 20th century.
Rating: 
Summary: Interesting, but not very relevant
Review: I bought the book hoping to get some good advice, things to watch out for, or at least some interesting examples from the authors' clients' lives, but it was somewhat boring. I didn't feel like it had many useful tips for me, a parent of a 3 year old. I'll keep the book handy and check it now an then to see if I've fallen into any of the patterns mentioned, but, for me, not a great book.
Rating:
Summary: Wish this book was available when I had young children
Review: I have read all of the previously books written by John and Linda Friel and made a point of reading their latest when I heard it was out. The contents are matter of fact; to the point and so sensible. Some of the "mistakes" are regarded as the 'norm' and it is refreshing to read how to make changes in these inconsistent behaviours. A thoroughly interesting and helpful guide for the very responsible task of parenthood.
Rating:
Summary: Thunderous Applause To John and Linda Friel!
Review: I have to disagree with some of the previous critics. The title is meant to attract the attention of some of us like yourself looking for a smidgen of parenting advice from 2 very qualified Authors on the subject. I read the book over this past weekend and couldn't put it down. It has confirmed to me that some things I have been already thinking are okay to implement in our family and not unmarked territory. This book also validates some old fashioned family values and made me realize that we all know parents who are struggling with these very issues. After reading this book I have educated myself just that much further in how to avoid these family dividing mistakes.
Rating:
Summary: Thunderous Applause To John and Linda Friel!
Review: I have to disagree with some of the previous critics. The title is meant to attract the attention of some of us like yourself looking for a smidgen of parenting advice from 2 very qualified Authors on the subject. I read the book over this past weekend and couldn't put it down. It has confirmed to me that some things I have been already thinking are okay to implement in our family and not unmarked territory. This book also validates some old fashioned family values and made me realize that we all know parents who are struggling with these very issues. After reading this book I have educated myself just that much further in how to avoid these family dividing mistakes.
Rating:
Summary: Despite the writing style, the content is good
Review: I tend to like television advertisements that are upbeat and informative over those that are gloomy and negative. ("Our company doesn't have a second line so the competition will destroy us. Boo hoo.") This book's title starts out negative and the cover admonishes us: "you cannot afford not to read this book". What's more, the book adopts a style that I find gratingly patronizing at times, sometimes to the point of being condescending. (p.58: "Third, know that it will hurt, and then it will hurt some more, and then just when you thought the hurt would end, it will hurt some more.") (p.102: "In the meantime, have a nice cold glass of lemon ice water and watch the sunset. Life is great, and if life is great, your kids will be fine.") (p.176: "That's all we need to say here. We've said it over and over throughout this book. Just remember it. Please.") I found the section "How to Sabotage Spirituality in Eleven Easy Lessons" especially annoying. (p.70: "Here come the hard-nosed scientists again, bless their hearts.") At other times, the book takes on a pedantic slant that might alienate less-educated readers (cf. the section on B.F. Skinner and behavior extinction). These sections could perhaps have been relegated to appendices. Nevertheless, though I often had to grit my teeth, I did get a lot out of the book. When I mentally translated the seven mistakes into seven pieces of advice and negated the negatives, I found that the seven points were on-target and especially appreciated the insight on giving a child structure. What's more, the book is concise and is an easy read. I have given copies of the book to friends and their comments have also been favorable.
Rating:
Summary: A very informative and friendly book.
Review: It sure does help to know you are not alone when you are trying to survive the times your children are acting like teenagers! I had a few good chuckles with this book, and I learned a lot too. Most of all, it made me feel maybe I'm not such a rotten mom after all.
Rating:
Summary: A very informative and friendly book.
Review: It sure does help to know you are not alone when you are trying to survive the times your children are acting like teenagers! I had a few good chuckles with this book, and I learned a lot too. Most of all, it made me feel maybe I'm not such a rotten mom after all.
Rating: 
Summary: For The 90's, Not The 50's
Review: Linda and I wrote this book because as practicing clinicians, and as parents of 3 grown children, we have found these 7 things to be increasingly troublesome over the past decade, especially for middle and upper-middle-class families. The graduate classes that I teach to school teachers in the Minneapois area confirm this as well--it is not understatement to say that teachers have begun to despair over the lack of impulse control, immaturity, and poor emotional intelligence on the part of many (not all) of their students; as well as the over-scheduling of so many students to the point of emotional numbness. This book was based on lecture and clinical material that we have been using and refining for 10-15 years, and so, as many reviewers in the press have written, the material is not only timely but also timeless. We hope the book prompts or prods some readers to re-evaluate their lives and the lives of their children. We should also note that a return to the 50's is not only impossible, but not particularly desirable given the many negatives that accompanied the fantasy of bliss to which some people would like to return. For example, alcoholism, incest, and child abuse were swept under the carpet and simply not addressed (at least not nearly as much as today) so that the majority of people from painful families just had to grin and bear it as they tried to leave home and go out into the world. Longing for times past, in our clinical and personal views, is usually a sign of some unresolved therapeutic issue, such as a fear of change or difficulty in adjusting to change, or both. We want to thank the more than 150,000 of you who have read this book so far, and the many of you who have written to us with your appreciative comments. As with our previous 5 books, all we hope for is that the reader is stimulated to think a bit, and maybe even make a change or two.
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