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Rating: 
Summary: Disappointed in this book--too rigid for younger toddlers
Review: The book outlines a program of setting limits, setting consequences, and following through with them in order to shape your toddler's behavior. The author says that safety is the main concern, and that parents should pick what behaviors they want to change instead of over-restricting their behavior. You can't make them perfectly behaved, they're toddlers! So he asks parents to make a top ten list of specific behaviors they want to change. Like, refuses to take a nap, always plays with the vcr, runs out in the street, etc. I liked this part because it helped me see that my 13 month old isn't badly behaved ALL the time, he just does some things that drive me nuts.So far, so good. He says that when the toddler does the activity you want to change, redirection should always be the first thing you try. If redirection works, great. But on most toddlers, it doesn't work most of the time. He says you have to tell them "no, we don't play with cords" and the reason why, but not to try to over-reason with them. But the only consequence he really outlines in the book is time-out, preferably in the child's room with the door closed (and latched if necessary). He says 1 minute of time out for every year of age. And the time out doesn't start until the child is quiet (or not screaming at least). This is where I have a problem with the book--it says it is for 9 months-3 years but there is no way you can give a 9 month old a time out!! That is just cruel. I don't think they really work with kids under 2, maybe some 18-24 month olds, depending on the child. But under 18 months, forget it! He spends a lot of time talking about why misbehavior occurs and says it is usually because kids are overtied. Duh!!! He offers a rather simplistic (and ferber-ized) solution to solving sleep problems, and doesn't really take into account nursing toddlers or co-sleeping and is pretty dismissive of attachment parenting. The reasoning behind this book is sound I think, but it is too rigid for most people to use especially with younger toddlers. 2-3 year olds with verbal capacity, maybe. I bought this book hoping it would offer a more structured approach to discipline than some of the gentle discipline techniques that aren't working, especially redirection. But I don't see how time outs would help with my "velcro toddler." He suggests "convenience" time outs for the velcro toddler--four minutes in the child's room while you make a phone call, but how would he understand why he is in his room? How would a time out help with his fighting diaper changes? I don't see how letting him sit in his room in a dirty diaper for a minute would solve anything. He doesn't advocate spanking or swatting, but I was really looking for something in between redirection and harsh time outs for younger toddlers.
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