The Secret of Happy Children

Rating:
Summary: Really excellent: smart useful thought-provoking and funny
Review: I am huge fan. This book is full of intelligent, thought- provoking and very practical advice which make you laugh out loud and reflect. It gave me SO many ideas and different ways of looking at things, while at the same time it was so entertaining to read that I read it in one go unable to put it down.

Rating:
Summary: a useful and very funny book
Review: I have read this book at least three times. His advice makes sense and the book is illustrated with funny stories from the author's experiences. Some stories make me laugh again each time I read them.

Rating:
Summary: Simply the best parenting book I've seen
Review: Instead of the dense, detailed books that experts tend to write on this subject, The Secret of Happy Children is simple, moving, and practical. I go back to it again and again to remind me why I had children in the first place, and what my real mission is in raising kids.

Rating:
Summary: Mostly good but some blind spots
Review: Steve Biddulph has written some excellent books. "Manhood" is a classic in the canon of men's studies.

This too is an excellent book. It is mostly very wise, sound, practical advice about raising children. My two caveats are:

1. It is hard to tell what is just Steve's opinion and what is based on solid research. So it is hard to know how much reliance to place on the material in the book.

2. I think he makes a big mistake in his recommended form of praise. He recommends what others call 'generic' or 'judgemental' praise. This is praise such as "You are smart" or "You are hard working". The trouble with this is that it is a judgement and it is not specific. It puts the parent in the position of judging the child's worth. If the parent is later critical, the child is likely to take it very hard. In some cases generic praise can be very demeaning and demoralising. I know of one case where a person reacted with fury to a comment "You are a good mother" because of this judgemental aspect.

In my view it is much better to say "That is an insighful point you made in the essay" or "You worked hard on that" or "your child looks very happy". Let the other person draw the generic conslusion. Let the child maintain a sense that they are the one who decides their self worth rather than being dependent on another person's opinion.

See for example, The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathanial Brandon for a good discussion of these issues.

Apart from those points, an excellent book.

Rating:
Summary: Terrific, help yourself
Review: This is a great book!! It deals with how to stop tamtrums before they can start, and a sections on saving your marriage. Whinging kids get a section and even single parents. Steve Biddulph has great ideas which are simple and easy to put into practice. Get DAD to read it as well to make your life even easier!!( I read the 2000 edition)