Description:
Most of us have heard about the way depression can run in families, and of theories proposing a genetic predisposition to the disease. But those theories present only one side of depression--what about the behaviors and coping skills learned in families where depression is an issue? How do we identify those subtle patterns and improve our lives without resorting to "wonder drugs"? In Hand-Me-Down Blues, Dr. Michael Yapko offers help in plain and simple language. Each chapter has plenty of summarized bullet points and practical suggestions that turn a complicated topic into one easily digested by busy parents. Yapko is careful to avoid blame, adapting a "we're all in this together" attitude, and analyzes numerous life stories to demonstrate his points. In the chapter "Marriage and Depression", he relates several stories of couples dealing with depression-related problems. While clearly demonstrating how poor communication can destroy good feelings, he also shouts, "Feelings can lie"--a surprising concept in light of other authors' "feelings are facts" statements. Positive action is emphasized in every chapter--and the analytical tools to decide which action needs to be taken are provided along the way. Determining the differences between shared and individual responsibility, tolerating ambiguity while establishing healthy boundaries, and displaying adaptability are just a few of the techniques presented. Yapko does an excellent job of showing the effects of depression in a larger context--not just family relationships, but also how family members often take their learned behaviors into school, work, and other social relationships. His practical methods for dealing with depression call for serious effort and repeat actions, but by putting just a few of his suggestions into practice, you may find yourself with stronger family relationships and a renewed sense of hope for the future. --Jill Lightner
| 
