Rating: 
Summary: Best book I've read for handling misbehavior.
Review: After two years of attending counseling and reading four other books, I finally have found the answers I was searching for - in this book! This book has given me a full understanding of my stepdaughter's manipulative behavior, as well as a well-defined formula for correcting this behavior. If you are having trouble with your children, this is a must read!
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Summary: Table of Contents
Review: Chapter 1 -- Manipulation: A Clue to the Mystery of Failure
Chapter 2 -- What is Manipulation?
Chapter 3 -- The Critical Factor: Temperament
Chapter 4 -- Healthy Kids: A Pediatrician's Response
Chapter 5 -- Independence and Dependence: Development
Chapter 6 -- Becoming Manipulation-Proof
Chapter 7 -- Shutting Down Manipulation
Chapter 8 -- Raising Children Who Believe in Themselves
Epilogue -- Schools and Other Places
Appendix A -- Milestones of Adaptive Development
Appendix B -- Parenting Styles
Appendix C -- Quick Review: Rules for STOP, PAUSE, and REDIRECT
Suggested Readings
Rating: 
Summary: Book for Dog-Trainers, Not Parents
Review: Do you think your children's needs are mere "manipulation" and sholud be ignored? Do you think the best to do for your child
is offer her/him "firm hierarchies", because "even the dog community" needs them for survival, as this book suggests? Do you think parents have nothing to do with their childrens state of inner stability? If you answer positively to this question, buy the book. I find it repulsive, cruel, unethical, and unprofessional to the point of writing to the book editor about destructive values promoted in it.
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Summary: Book for Dog-Trainers, Not Parents
Review: Do you think your children's needs are mere "manipulation" and sholud be ignored? Do you think the best to do for your child
is offer her/him "firm hierarchies", because "even the dog community" needs them for survival, as this book suggests? Do you think parents have nothing to do with their childrens state of inner stability? If you answer positively to this question, buy the book. I find it repulsive, cruel, unethical, and unprofessional to the point of writing to the book editor about destructive values promoted in it.
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Summary: A guide to Non-Manipulative Parenting
Review: Don't be put off by the unflattering title of this book, as it teaches value guided parenting and shows the reader what a healthy functional family looks like. The authors study the common traits in families that produce healthy well adapted children, shedding light on the many parenting myths and misconceptions which todays parents are inundated with. There are many different types/styles of families and cultures which consitantly raise successful children, but they all share certain virtues or common qualities. They show why the current tendency of lowering expectations/standards, combined with a "child-centered" approach, is so detrimental to a childs self esteem, encouraging children to under perform like never before.The book is NOT about any particular type of child as the title suggests, but focuses on teaching parents to become 'manipulation proof' by understanding their own weaknesses and blind spots. These 'hidden agendas' include things such as parental guilt, fear, lack of confidence, inconvenience, conflict between parents etc. Through their normal limit testing, kids quickly discover and can exploit our blind sides without really understanding or comprehending why we tend to react in predictable ways. Parents must first look at themselves and find out what is preventing them from being effective when it comes to discipline. Many books accurately describe discipline problems and give sound situational advice but this one actually explains why some behaviours persist with seemingly no reward or purpose. Why a child will initiate a three hour screaming power struggle when all he/she has to do is pick up one toy or write one sentence of homework. We could not understand why our child was so focused on controlling us with no real purpose or goal and this book explains it very clearly. This is one of only a few parenting books which give a good explaination of unwanted behavours learned through "negative reinforcement". This is so important because the most challenging behaviours are not positively rewarded, but rooted or acquired through negative reinforcement. These are behaviours which are not always deliberate or conciously guided, with 'avoidance' as the underlying goal. Because they are rooted in avoidance they are much more persistant and enduring than behaviours acquired through positive reinforcement. When most people hear the word "Manipulation" they automatically think of openly planned deception, but that is NOT what this book is about. Many negatively reinforced behaviours appear manipulative on the surface but actually have no real goal or reward other than avoidance. When there is mutual avoidance or 'hidden agendas' with both the parent and child, that's where the problems start. The book teaches parents to recognise these patterns, and interrupt them before they become your childs normal mode of operation. This is an excellent book and surely a real eye-opener for many parents. It's not your typical "how to" parenting book but gives parents a powerful insight into healthy family dynamics.
If your child is excessively bossy, controlling, always trying to make others compromise (for no apparent reason), expending a disproportionate amount of energy over seemingly trivial issues or objectives, READ THIS BOOK! Other great discipline/parenting books I highly recommend are: "Setting Limits" by Robert J MacKenzie, "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey, "Kid Cooperation" by Elizabeth Pantley and "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk".
Rating: 
Summary: Disappointing
Review: I bought this book based on the customer reviews here, but I was quite disappointed. The first half of the book is s-l-o-w going; I felt as though they had padded out the meaningful content just to make it book length. The authors make numerous claims for their system without using many real-world examples. The system itself is so contrived that I can't imagine using it with my children. And I felt uncomfortable with their contention that forcing a terrified child to go through with skiing lessons, for example, will teach them to tough out life's challenges. A far better book, in my opinion, is Setting Limits by Robert J. MacKenzie.
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Summary: Total depth in understnading chilraising problems of today
Review: I can honestly say that this book has completely transformed my understanding both of child-raising and myself. This is simply a brilliant work of penetrating depth that will open your eyes to the reality of how people are raising their kids. My eyes have been opened and I will never be the same, and I am totally grateful to the authors for it. After years of reading child raising books and never really feeling effected by anything all that much, I can finallly say I have found a light in a sea of darkness. If you are tired of method after method that makes little difference in your life, and you want something REAL, then here is your answer!! It is the most truthful, to the point, deep, interesting, and mind-blowing childraising book I have ever read! I would look at this book as the inner-foundation of healthy child raising. For more practical, day to day solutions, read it together with "Setting Limits." It has a similar perspective with the focus on easy to recognize, practical examples.
Rating:
Summary: Total depth in understnading chilraising problems of today
Review: I can honestly say that this book has completely transformed my understanding both of child-raising and myself. This is simply a brilliant work of penetrating depth that will open your eyes to the reality of how people are raising their kids. My eyes have been opened and I will never be the same, and I am totally grateful to the authors for it. After years of reading child raising books and never really feeling effected by anything all that much, I can finallly say I have found a light in a sea of darkness. If you are tired of method after method that makes little difference in your life, and you want something REAL, then here is your answer!! It is the most truthful, to the point, deep, interesting, and mind-blowing childraising book I have ever read! I would look at this book as the inner-foundation of healthy child raising. For more practical, day to day solutions, read it together with "Setting Limits." It has a similar perspective with the focus on easy to recognize, practical examples.
Rating:
Summary: A Real Eye-Opener
Review: I cannot tell you how happy I am that I bought this book. I have recommended it so many times, I should get commission, lol. I have spent the past 2 years trying to gain peace and harmony in my house. As the parent of a highly manipulative, spirited 3 year old, the stress level in the house ultimately depended on his mood. That is, until I bought this book. The whole book is about how and why kids manipulate and it helps identify reasons why we let them. Every child manipulates in one way or another, but it's those kids who make a career out of it that grow up having difficulties in life. We, as parents, must stop the manipulation so they grow to stand on their own and learn to solve problems so they can grow to be independent and resilient. In today's world, all kinds of child rearing expert are telling us that we run the risk of damaging our children's self esteem if we discipline them. This just isn't true. Children NEED us to set firm limits on their behavior. It helps them feel secure in their surroundings and teaches them that life is not all about pleasure. They must learn to deal with disappointment if they are to grow up well adjusted and responsible for their actions. We teach them nothing by covering up their bad behavior and allowing them to manipulate their way through life. This book does a wonderful job of teaching us how to accomplish this. It has many examples throughout the book which made it very enjoyable to read. The method they use is simple, clear and easy to apply. I have had the best 2 days since reading this book and applying what I've learned. I'm looking forward to many more. I feel I'm gaining control of my boys (mostly the 3 year old) and not letting them beat me up anymore with their misbehaviors. And in turn, they are honestly starting to behave better. The whining hasn't completely ended and they still have their moments, but I don't give in at ALL now. They are slowly learning that they can't get a rise out of me. I haven't yelled or screamed at them in 2 days and my stress level has come down dramatically. It's incredible. So I'll step down off my soapbox now and just say that I recommend this book to everyone. Even if you think your child behaves pretty well, you could still benefit from reading this incredibly eye-opening masterpiece. It has made all the difference in my house.
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Summary: a must read for parents a life saver an eye opener
Review: I have the master of manipulation for a stepson.This book has him so pegged and has given me hope in gaining some control in my house.I needed someone to tell it to us straight.This book doesn't mix words.A sanity saver.
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