Rating: 
Summary: The importance of "remembering well"
Review: "Remembering Well" is a book about certain subjects -- death and dying, funerals, bereavement and the grieving process - that don't exactly make you want to rush out and read about them. Yet Sarah York, a Unitarian Universalist minister with a tremendous amount of experience, knowledge, and -- even more importantly -- wisdom regarding death, dying, grieving, and "remembering well," has succeeded in writing a book that is at once practical, powerful, poignant, moving, even inspiring. At its heart, "Remembering Well" is not so much about death and dying as it is about life, living, love, and memory. Perhaps its most important lesson is the necessity of allowing time and "sacred space" for those who have experienced a loss to be able to "give voice to their sorrow" and to "remember well" the person who has died. In Sarah York's view, and I couldn't agree more, suppressing strong feelings, or glossing over them, is not a good idea for anyone. In fact, it's very unhealthy and really just asking for trouble down the road. Unfortunately, I have personally been to funerals where almost every one of Sarah York's rules has been violated, where the service was utterly impersonal, or where the religious official running the service took the opportunity to try and impose their religious perspective on the audience, leaving many people (myself included) unsatisfied and even angry. The bottom line here is that although it is not a simple matter to "remember well," it certainly can be done. If you want to find out how, Sarah York's book is a great place to start. I strongly recommend it to everyone!
Rating:
Summary: The importance of "remembering well"
Review: "Remembering Well" is a book about certain subjects -- death and dying, funerals, bereavement and the grieving process - that don't exactly make you want to rush out and read about them. Yet Sarah York, a Unitarian Universalist minister with a tremendous amount of experience, knowledge, and -- even more importantly -- wisdom regarding death, dying, grieving, and "remembering well," has succeeded in writing a book that is at once practical, powerful, poignant, moving, even inspiring. At its heart, "Remembering Well" is not so much about death and dying as it is about life, living, love, and memory. Perhaps its most important lesson is the necessity of allowing time and "sacred space" for those who have experienced a loss to be able to "give voice to their sorrow" and to "remember well" the person who has died. In Sarah York's view, and I couldn't agree more, suppressing strong feelings, or glossing over them, is not a good idea for anyone. In fact, it's very unhealthy and really just asking for trouble down the road. Unfortunately, I have personally been to funerals where almost every one of Sarah York's rules has been violated, where the service was utterly impersonal, or where the religious official running the service took the opportunity to try and impose their religious perspective on the audience, leaving many people (myself included) unsatisfied and even angry. The bottom line here is that although it is not a simple matter to "remember well," it certainly can be done. If you want to find out how, Sarah York's book is a great place to start. I strongly recommend it to everyone!
Rating:
Summary: A gentle, common sense guide
Review: "Remembering Well" is a carefully crafted book of resources that speaks to each of us. Part of Sarah York's genius is showing us fresh and imaginative ways to involve all mourners in grieving. She takes us well beyond what we've all experienced in typical funerals or memorial services. There are wonderful suggestions and real-life examples on how to create our own rituals, common sense guidelines that aid in dealing with grief and so much more. Ms. York's gentle manner and practical suggestions abound; her book deserves to be in every household.
Rating:
Summary: A gentle, common sense guide
Review: "Remembering Well" is a carefully crafted book of resources that speaks to each of us. Part of Sarah York's genius is showing us fresh and imaginative ways to involve all mourners in grieving. She takes us well beyond what we've all experienced in typical funerals or memorial services. There are wonderful suggestions and real-life examples on how to create our own rituals, common sense guidelines that aid in dealing with grief and so much more. Ms. York's gentle manner and practical suggestions abound; her book deserves to be in every household.
Rating:
Summary: Thank you, Sarah York
Review: "Remembering Well" opened up a whole new perspective for me, the idea that creating our own traditions and rituals can be, and should be, an ongoing part of our lives. "Remembering Well" helped me deal with the recent loss of a close friend, whose funeral service had been extremely formal and impersonal. Reading "Remembering Well" prompted me to contact other friends of the departed. I learned that they felt the same way about the funeral. We met around a large table for lunch, and took turns talking about our friend. We all felt we knew our departed friend better than before, and at the same time we felt comforted ourselves as we began our own healing process. We made plans for our next gathering, a celebration of our friend's life, on her birthday some months from now, a day that previously we had been dreading, and had planned to ignore. I've given copies of "Remembering Well" to my three grown children and to some close friends. I hope that this gift to them will enlarge their views of life and death, and also their understanding that rituals can provide comfort and peace when we are grieving.
Rating: 
Summary: Personalized rituals of remembrance help us express grief
Review: As a minister, I have met with many grieving families during the past twenty years, and I know that all deaths are not equal-and neither are the services that honor the lives that preceded them. The ceremony that honors a ninety year-old man who died peacefully in his sleep will not help the parents of a teenager who took her own life. The words that comfort the child of a safe home will not offer healing for the child who was abused. Creating a ritual of remembrance that sensitively holds a caring space for all kinds of feelings and lives is not easy, but it can be done. And that is why I wrote Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Live and Mourning Death. Rituals of remembrance are not limited to funerals and memorial services. Among those who have read Remembering Well are many who did not have an immediate need to plan a memorial ceremony. All of them, however, were moved by the stories of grief and healing, and reported that the book stirred their own tender memories of loss while it stimulated their compassion for others who grieve. More than a practical guide, the book offers spiritual sustenance for past and future losses. Several who read the book also reported that they wished they had had this book when someone in their family died. I felt that way, too. In the process of writing it, I became aware of the opportunities I had missed. How I wish I could go back to the hospital where my father died, for example, and create a simple ceremony of closure before his lifeless body was removed from the room and forever gone from my sight. As a result of writing this book, however, I now have a practice of marking the anniversary of my father's death, as well as the birth and death dates of other members of my family who have died. I have included rituals of closure and anniversary rituals in this book because they have helped me through my own times of grief. You may think that the topic for this book is depressing. After all who wants to talk about death? But it isn't really about death at all. It is about telling the truth. It is about healing relationships that may be tinged with anger and guilt. It is about claiming hope in the midst of pain. It is about expressing love. It is about living well, so that when death comes, we too, will be remembered well.
Rating:
Summary: Memories...
Review: Death is one of the most traumatic experience in our lives. Even the deaths of strangers affects us in unusual, sometimes unpredictable ways. The death of those close to us, family and friends, can leave us with questions, emotions and emptiness hard to comprehend. Yet, there are ways to deal with these; religion has rituals, families have traditions, cultures have cycles, allowances and expectations, yet we still need more. This book by Sarah York puts an order to the chaos. Written primarily for those in caring professions (pastors and priests, health-care workers, etc.) or even for those who have expectation for the approaching death of friends or family members, the book can be rewarding to any reader, as death is one of the facts of life we will all face in a myriad of ways. York infuses her discussions with her personal experiences as well as professional experiences. She talks about the various ways in which religion looks to care for the departed as well as those left behind, in terms of memorials, committals, and other services. She also looks at the emotional and relationship aspects, both when family and friends are close-knit as well as when there are distances and estrangements. Through stories of people, York teaches and guides by example. She shows the specifics of how to help in the case of a suidice, the death of an infant, a death due to illness, and more. She helps to show how to carve out a space for the family and friends, the wider community, and for the presence of God in the midst of sometimes bewilderingly tragic situations. The final chapter looks at the 'seasons of grief' -- some religions, such as Judaism, have prescribed patterns or rituals to follow for up to a year after the death; in fact, the death of a person stays with us for the rest of our lives, and the more significant the relationship, the more significant that season can be, and more long-lasting in daily life and functioning. While the specific rituals of Judaism cannot appropriately be used out of context of the community and hold the same meaning, the pattern of activity and the pastoral/psychological way in which they function can be easily adapted. York offers three sections of resources, which make this book practical and useful. Prayers, readings, blessings, service forms, even the idea for a 'no-memorial wanted' practice serves to stimulate ideas for the creative and meaningful way in which observe and remember. York's final story in the epilogue is very touching, an almost concrete way of showing how we carry forward those who have passed away in our own lives. This is a stunning book, thoughtful and sensitive, useful and prayerful. My life has been enriched simply through the reading of this text; it will be even more enriched when the times come that they guide my practices and my experiences.
Rating:
Summary: Memories...
Review: Death is one of the most traumatic experience in our lives. Even the deaths of strangers affects us in unusual, sometimes unpredictable ways. The death of those close to us, family and friends, can leave us with questions, emotions and emptiness hard to comprehend. Yet, there are ways to deal with these; religion has rituals, families have traditions, cultures have cycles, allowances and expectations, yet we still need more. This book by Sarah York puts an order to the chaos. Written primarily for those in caring professions (pastors and priests, health-care workers, etc.) or even for those who have expectation for the approaching death of friends or family members, the book can be rewarding to any reader, as death is one of the facts of life we will all face in a myriad of ways. York infuses her discussions with her personal experiences as well as professional experiences. She talks about the various ways in which religion looks to care for the departed as well as those left behind, in terms of memorials, committals, and other services. She also looks at the emotional and relationship aspects, both when family and friends are close-knit as well as when there are distances and estrangements. Through stories of people, York teaches and guides by example. She shows the specifics of how to help in the case of a suidice, the death of an infant, a death due to illness, and more. She helps to show how to carve out a space for the family and friends, the wider community, and for the presence of God in the midst of sometimes bewilderingly tragic situations. The final chapter looks at the 'seasons of grief' -- some religions, such as Judaism, have prescribed patterns or rituals to follow for up to a year after the death; in fact, the death of a person stays with us for the rest of our lives, and the more significant the relationship, the more significant that season can be, and more long-lasting in daily life and functioning. While the specific rituals of Judaism cannot appropriately be used out of context of the community and hold the same meaning, the pattern of activity and the pastoral/psychological way in which they function can be easily adapted. York offers three sections of resources, which make this book practical and useful. Prayers, readings, blessings, service forms, even the idea for a 'no-memorial wanted' practice serves to stimulate ideas for the creative and meaningful way in which observe and remember. York's final story in the epilogue is very touching, an almost concrete way of showing how we carry forward those who have passed away in our own lives. This is a stunning book, thoughtful and sensitive, useful and prayerful. My life has been enriched simply through the reading of this text; it will be even more enriched when the times come that they guide my practices and my experiences.
Rating: 
Summary: Been there, Done that, Thanks!
Review: Having been someone who has done group memorials for individuals of a separate organization with people who have passed on from AIDS, this book give me new insight. I am looking to put together another ceremony in September. Comparing the past events with Rev. York's book, I find that the past events contained many of the elements that she suggests. However, she gives some wonderful insights and ideas that I have not thought of before. I am only about 1/3 of the way through the book I am about ready to change the original structure of the memorial service. All that I can really say is: "Sarah, thank you for your wonderful writing and imput. Ricky Gilbert
Rating:
Summary: Been there, Done that, Thanks!
Review: Having been someone who has done group memorials for individuals of a separate organization with people who have passed on from AIDS, this book give me new insight. I am looking to put together another ceremony in September. Comparing the past events with Rev. York's book, I find that the past events contained many of the elements that she suggests. However, she gives some wonderful insights and ideas that I have not thought of before. I am only about 1/3 of the way through the book I am about ready to change the original structure of the memorial service. All that I can really say is: "Sarah, thank you for your wonderful writing and imput. Ricky Gilbert
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