Rating: 
Summary: Wow....
Review: A great book for women who are needing help with this dilema. I was so consumed by all the points and feelings that hit so close to home, I was able to read it in one sitting. This is a no nonsense book, and is a must read for any woman in this situation! I am really glad that I got this book. I am sure it will come in to play and comfort me a number of times for me in the upcoming months.
Rating: 
Summary: A woman who takes on a high-risk romance isn't a fool!
Review: Dear Reader,I've been interviewing women and writing about their loves and losses for over ten years. When Robyn Todd came to me with her story about dating a divorcing man and how it turned her life inside out, I recognized a theme I've always been drawn to: A perfectly sane and savvy woman will work with any man, however flawed he or his situation may be,when her heart and soul and mind and body are engaged. (Okay, let's say two out of three.) She will try and turn him into The One. I do this. My girlfriends do this. Robyn Todd did this. Women are one-eyed about love. No matter who we love at any given moment, we are certain that he is the first and last man on earth. Now, I happen to believe that this female one-eyedness is an admirable, awe-inspiring, species-saving quality. Of course, it does have its humorous side. And its heart-breaking side as well. Like women, the men we fall in love with are varied, changeable, flawed and perverse creatures. We fall in love with a man and see all his goodness and potential. And sometimes we are right. And sometimes we are wrong. But even when we are wrong, we pick ourselves up and do it all over again the next day with the next man. What's braver than that? That's what Robyn Todd did. And she was convinced that other women could learn something from her mistakes. I was convinced that her mistakes were the same kinds of mistakes that all women make in love. With a few differences. Here's one: When you're dating a separated man the minefields aren't where you expect them to be. (Also, they're different minefields.) Here's one of the linchpins in our strategy of How To Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Don't play it safe, play it sane. Yes, dating a divorcing man is high-risk love--but love by its very nature is high-risk. And women are risk-takers. What I tried to zero in on in Robyn's experience--and that of the hundreds of other women we interviewed who've been in this largely ignored dating reality--were the minefields a woman won't see coming. And the qualities a woman must cultivate inside herself to dance between them. The strategies a women must develop to patch herself and her lover together when she makes a mistake and screws up--which she will do. Because once you let yourself love, you make mistakes. Goes with the territory. So it isn't safety that carries the day, it's sanity. Sanity is knowing How to Tell a Loser from a Keeper (see Chapter 5). And whether you will be his Transitional Woman (see Chapter 8). Do you know The Girlfriend's Bill of Rights? (see Chapter 10). A divorcing man brings a whole cast of supporting (and supported) characters onto the stage of romance: The (soon-to-be) Ex-Wife. The Children. The Disapproving Friends and Relatives. All these extra dramas complicate love (not to mention holidays and Other Important Occasions). They add to the love stress. And when love is stressed, rules don't do a woman any good. Feelings create more mischief than any dating rule will ever be able to contain. Our book is a surviver's guide to a risky kind of loving, but we're convinced it will speak to any woman who wants to love and doesn't want to be a fool for love. Tell your friends (or your mother or your daughter or that colleague who's been at her wit's end). Tell your boyfriend or your brother or your boss. If you or someone you care about has found The (Almost) Perfect Man, we hope your love story, wherever it takes you, has the happiest of beginnings, middles and endings! Lesley Dormen
Rating:
Summary: I am not alone and I have hope now.
Review: I cannot tell you how grateful I was to find this book. I too had looked for books on surviving your boyfriend's divorce, but apparently most authors believe that divorce only affects those that it directly affects (husband, wife and kids)- and they ignore the other people in their lives. I started dating my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years when he was long separated but before his divorce and I swear I could have written this book. As the authors discuss, I've believed his wife to be a step left of Hitler, I've given up control of my life waiting for him to make up his mind, and I've let the chaos and trauma of his divorce and recovery become the central focus of my world- and trust me- making a man the central part of my life was something I *never* thought I'd do. I kept thinking "If I'm this strong wonderful woman, I can teach him to love again." Frankly, this book scared me a little bit in how accurate it was in reflecting all of the stages and feelings and conversations (word for word out of our mouths, by the way) I've been through with him. The biggest thing this book can do for you is validate your feelings and show you that you are still in control of yourself, your life, and your future. It gets the focus off of him and back onto yourself. I'm so much clearer now and I'm a little shocked that this little book has had such a profound effect on me, my attitude and my outlook. It is a clear and well-written (and funny) book that doesn't let you feel sorry for yourself- it just provides you with hope, regardless of whether your future is with him or without him. Thank you SO MUCH.
Rating:
Summary: On the money!
Review: I felt like I was reading about myself and my boyfriend when I read the real life examples. This book is the only of it's kind that really deals with all the difficult issues when dating a separated man. It does clearly state that you are in for a rocky road and does not offer any pie in the sky scenarios --- just brutally honest advice. I refer to it often when the going is getting rough with my boyfriend and I always keep in mind that I have 3 options. A must read for anyone in this situation.
Rating: 
Summary: Very informative and good on-going resource
Review: I felt this book handled the subject matter very well as I recently found myself in this situation (new boyfriend, just starting the divorce process). I'm glad there was a resource available as I was already falling into some negative behavior (mine) in respect to his situation. I found that this book really illustrated the reality of divorce to someone who had never been married. I had some very misconceived notions of what should be happening with his situation, timelines of progress, etc. that this book helped (dramatically) dispel. What a reality check for me! But I'm glad I found out now; it has really lessened the frustration level for me. It is a very good book to show one what to expect when involved in this all-too-common fact of modern life.
Rating:
Summary: Extremely helpful
Review: I found this book to be informative. Where was it 3 years ago? they man I have been dating for almost 3 years gave me excuse and excuse. He knew how to get to me. Well, no more. I felt alone and confused. After reading this book, I feel I have the power and he doesn't really have any say. I shouldn't have to make sacrifices. I'm in charge. I have to love myself first. I'm not a convenient store when he has the time to see me. Robyn, your book is a God send. I didn't know there are many other women like me and felt I was doing something wrong. Thanks, I feel better about myself. I deserve more and better. Until he realizes that, then I'm gonna go on with my life. When he's ready, fine. I've made too many excuses for him, no more. This book made me think twice and says to love myself first. I'm first, not him. He can't put me first so tough luck. No more waiting, I'm a free woman now. I wish I had the courage back then. I rather be alone than unhappy as he made me unhappy. NO MORE! Thanks again. To all women, you are in charge of your life, not them. Put yourself first.
Rating:
Summary: Helped me get my sanity back
Review: I got his book about a month ago, and I've read it about 5 times already. I've underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you're involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said "Yes...that's true!" out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn't mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It's a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I've read a ton of "self-help" books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don't get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!
Rating:
Summary: WOW!! Best book I've read in a long time!!!
Review: I have never written an online book review before, but I was so impressed with this book that I thought I should. As I began reading this book, my jaw dropped at almost every page turn. It was as if the book was written especially for me an my "unique" situation! To know that my situation is NOT unique and that many other women go through the same type of ordeal when dating an almost-divorced man was an absolute relief. The authors did an especially excellent job of bringing me and my emotions back down to earth, and the book also constantly reminded me that although I am in a tough siuation, it's not impossible, I have choices, and I can live my life with an almost-divorced man without losing myself (or my sanity)! I would HIGHLY recommend this book to any woman who is dating a man going through the process of divorce. Worth every penny!!!
Rating:
Summary: But WE are different.....
Review: I have read this book over and over. I have turned to it many times to remind myself of the truths that are not always so self-evident when you are the girlfriend of a man who is not yet divorced....or, what is that word, oh yeah MARRIED. When I began my relationship, I desperately looked for a book that could coach me through what turned out to be one of the most wonderful and most painful relationships of my life. I could find nothing. And why should I have been able to? Who would write a book to help the likes of me? When I saw the title, I was surprised and grateful. A book written just for me! There it was....."How To Survive our Boyfriend's Divorce", which is EXACTLY what I wanted to know how to do. I thank Robyn for writing the book. I thank her for having the courage and compassion to write it. A woman who falls in love with a married man is not necessarily also endowed with horns and a tail, contrary to popular belief. It was so good to read something that addressed me as a person, not a devil, and validated my conflicted feelings in an attempt to soothe the furrowed brow on my own soul. Some of the passages are hard truths to read, to be sure, but if you are the "girlfriend" of a married man in the midst of a divorce, you absolutely NEED to read this book. My own relationship is in limbo now, but it is as Robyn predicted. Many relationships borne out of affairs or struck up in the middle of a divorce, end up there at some point. Many of these relationships simply don't survive at all. Some stay in a state of indefinite flux, some progress, some stagnate, some can withstand the unbelieveable pressure, some cannot. Regardless, it is good to read all the possible outcomes in black and white and reassess what you are doing. Ask yourself where you think you want things to end up as opposed to where they are likely to fall. Denial can be a friend for awhile, but eventually you have to take off those rose-colored glasses and see things as they really are. I believe Robyn's advice helps a person to do that. To be as objective (as possible) within the relationship and to consider that this relationship you have begun (or are currently in) with a married/divorcing man may, in actuality,NOT be much different than other relationships with other married/divorcing men that other women have experienced. He may not be so different. You may not be so different. Certain patterns within this experience DO emerge. Through the book you can begin to evaluate your unique situation as it fits in with what Robyn has learned. She sites many "case studies" and you CAN learn from them. Robyn's unflinching perspective forces you to accept the possibility that "Guess what? This may not turn out happily ever after...."....it is from THAT point that it is safest to continue on....or not. I would love to tell her my story, especially if I thought it could help someone else. Again, thank you.
Rating: 
Summary: How good is this book? Depends on how bad your boyfriend is.
Review: I honestly was surprised to see all the positive reviews of this book. I guess that most women who read it already know they are in a bad situation, and need the courage or validation to break off a bad relationship. Maybe they need to see themselves in the sad descriptions. But I didn't fall into that group. I bought this book because I felt overwhelmed with the circumstances -- soon-to-be-ex-wife and kids and alimony, oh my! -- in my relationship. But my boyfriend's behavior didn't match any of the selfish scenarios the author describes -- he was great. Divorce, and dating someone in the process of it, raise really complex issues. I felt the author tried to simplify everything too much with a one-size-fits-all approach. I would have loved some tips for getting through this hard time, even if your boyfriend is doing everything that he can -- how to personally cope -- but the advice is mostly restricted to what you should do when _his_ behavior is less than exemplary. But for those women who are dating jerks, this book could be the wake-up call that they need.
| 
