Rating: 
Summary: Gotta have it...
Review: "The Enlightened Stepmother" is an amazingly thorough look at the life of the stepmom, including her fears and worries, her problems and challenges, and a realistic assessment of her chances for happiness. Mrs. Norwood takes a stance that stepmoms everyone can understand, calling us "one of the last social groups still in the closet." She says that we are "new pioneers" because society still often has a misunderstood and unfavorable view of the stepmom -- the wicked woman who takes mom's place and isn't to be trusted. This prevailing stereotype makes life even harder for the stepmom who is insecure or unsure of her place in the family. Mrs. Norwood's book helps that stepmom with a straightforward, in-depth and honest investigation into her life. "The Stepmom's Quick Primer" at the beginning of the book gives the reader "twelve essential gems of wisdom." These brief items give to-the-point advice and inspiration to the struggling stepmom. It's just the beginning to a lengthy analysis of all aspects of the stepmom's life. The book is divided into four parts. Part 1, "Getting to Know You," focuses on the stepmom's view of herself and her stepfamily. The author helps the reader explore exactly what her role, rights and responsibilities are and understand her expectations. Part 2, "Relationships," encourages the stepmom to apply the same research that she applied to her own feelings to the other people in her life, to learn directly what everyone feels and what they expect instead of relying on preconceived perceptions. Part 3, the "Lifestyle and Practical Matters" section, covers those day-to-day concerns that can't be left to chance: the wedding, custody and visitation, discipline, holidays, school, money and more. This section includes the very helpful "Stepmom's Legal File." The final part, "Is This What I Want?" recognizes that we all reach a "moment of truth" in our stepmotherhood when we have to make the choice to embrace or exit this role. This section helps the reader evaluate her satisfaction and progress with some tough questions about how she really feels. Mrs. Norwood comforts even the most distraught or confused stepmom, noting that "attitudes conducive to successful stepmotherhood can be learned." She gives us all hope.
Rating: 
Summary: A "been there", "done that" manual of stepmothering
Review: Besides the obvious audience of current and wouldbe stepmothers, this book should be in the hands of all counselors, therapists, and social workers. Like books on good manners, Ms. Norwood maps out strategies for overcoming the difficulties inherent in the role of stepmother and dispels the myths that cling to the title. It could have been more tightly edited, as there is some repetition, but the overall message is plain to see: it takes more than two to tango.
Rating:
Summary: A fantastic book for the Stepmother!
Review: I am Canadian so I paid a much higher price for the book than my American friends would. BUT, it was worth and continues to be worth every penny. This book deals with the stepmoms point of view, her feelings, her needs, HER! This book was well written and I refer to it often.
Rating:
Summary: Depressing but Packed With Info
Review: I am on the verge of becoming a Stepmother (should I choose to go forth in my relationship). I know of NO other woman who is in my position. The great thing about this book is that I felt like finally "someone" was on my side, that many things I've felt (frustration, not loving my boyfriend's son or even always liking him, feeling jealous at times that he is more important to his dad than I am) were valid and even common reactions. However, the underlying message of this book seems to be, no matter what you do your step kids will most likely hate you, his ex might hate you, he probably won't support you, and this will continue on into your old age. This book said it wasn't negative, yet I got nothing positive out of it, it seemed that every example used was of an unhappy stepmom, unsupported and practically invisible. And over and over the husband seemed absent, no support to her, not active in the situation. Though my b/f is a VERY hands on father, so I don't have to play the mother role too much, this book left me confused and doubtful that I should even attempt this. So I guess if you want your eyes opened, this book will certainly do it! I just didn't find it very encouraging - perhaps there aren't enough "happy ending" step-marriages to use as examples? That can't be good!
Rating:
Summary: the best one I've read
Review: I became a fulltime stepmother 3 years ago to two young children whose mother had died. I was very much in love with their father, and the children accepted me immediately as their "mother substitute". However, after the initial fantasy period (which is described accurately in the book), the real problems began. My husband and I went through hell trying to pick our way through the monumental challenges of living together as a stepfamily. It was at this point that I had the brilliant idea of researching the whole issue of stepmotherhood. Fortunately, this was one of the first books I read along with Cherie Burns' book "Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out or Wicked". Both these books saved my sanity and also helped my husband understand that what I was going through was perfectly normal and understandable. I highly, highly recommend this book!! It's worth several counselling sessions and probably more value for your money.
Rating:
Summary: the best one I've read
Review: I became a fulltime stepmother 3 years ago to two young children whose mother had died. I was very much in love with their father, and the children accepted me immediately as their "mother substitute". However, after the initial fantasy period (which is described accurately in the book), the real problems began. My husband and I went through hell trying to pick our way through the monumental challenges of living together as a stepfamily. It was at this point that I had the brilliant idea of researching the whole issue of stepmotherhood. Fortunately, this was one of the first books I read along with Cherie Burns' book "Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out or Wicked". Both these books saved my sanity and also helped my husband understand that what I was going through was perfectly normal and understandable. I highly, highly recommend this book!! It's worth several counselling sessions and probably more value for your money.
Rating:
Summary: An Essential Guide for Anyone
Review: I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they marry a man with children. This book is essential to let you know the challenges and joys ahead and then as a guide of how to get through them. There are a million books to help you help your stepchildren. However, this book offers you the tools you need to help yourself. Little steps on how to build your family from the outset to be a place you can be happy and be yourself. I had a bad night last night. And for a few precious minutes, I read a book that was focussed on me - not as a mother or a wife, but as a person with my own challenges. It offered me peace of mind. And with every new change in my life, I want to reread sections to get the same ideas from a different perspective. This book is a key that can help any stepmother. I can't recommend it enough.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent tool for all stepmothers/stepfamilies!
Review: I have been reading a lot of resource material ever since I found out I was marrying a man with children. This is one of the best books I have read on this subject. I keep it close to me. I know I will look for guidance in this book again and again. Worth the money in many ways!
Rating: 
Summary: Fueling the mother vs stepmother fire
Review: I was so saddened to pick up this book, with high hopes, and discover the terrible bias in the chapter on ex-wives. The chapter starts out with a tale of a stepmother with a black eye- given to her by her husband's ex-wife. Next, the authors claim that ex-wives are "pleading poverty." Although the authors admit that "statistics show that most divorced women live at a lower standard than their ex-husbands" they counter this with "the anecdotal evidence gathered from our interviews"!! Hmmmm, statistics from non biased sources, or interviews OF STEPMOTHERS for a book FOR STEPMOTHERS, which will have more accurate info? Several more sections follow on the sins of mothers: using the children as weapons, defaming stepmothers, etc, before we finally get any information on WHY there might be this schism and what we can do about it. I'd say one thing we can do about it is stop such negative stereotyping on both sides. Today. Ten pages into the chapter the authors suggest you might want to look at your own views of mothers/ex-wives. Here is a gem that I, if I were the author, would have started the chapter with: "Once I stepped back from his perception of her and saw her as a real, live person, with feelings and issues and human flaws, instead of the caricature he was painting of an evil, heartless, woman, things just got simpler." Sure there are bad mothers, bad stepmothers, and bad fathers. There are also decent people in awful situations, trying to figure it out. And at the heart of it all, there are children who never asked to be forced to live with petty battles of immature adults! I'm sure this book has lots of good advice, but this chapter sure chapped my hide. "Why can't we all just get along?"
Rating:
Summary: Head and shoulders above
Review: I've read many guides and attended a seminar on stepfamilies to help prepare myself before I become the stepmom to two wonderful little girls. So far, that preparation has been so discouraging that I started to doubt the wisdom of going forward! But then I found Enlighted Stepmother. Finally, a positive perspective that acknowledges the courage and integrity of those of us selfless enough to accept and love others' children. Even if we may not feel "love" for them, we act in a loving way as we help raise those little people. This a truly helpful guide that smashes the stereotype of the stepmother as a second class women. This book will help you realize YOUR personal potential, not try to squeeze you like a square peg into a broken family. My applause and gratitude to the authors!
| 
