Rating: 
Summary: an excellent resource for client and counselor...
Review: ....very thorough and clinically valid in its look at the abuser mentality--but be cautioned not to think there is a single abuser mentality, or even several. I've worked as a therapist with chronic and violent batterers, men who really were arrested for a (nevertheless inexcusable) one-time incident, and lots in between, and it's important to distinguish, as Dutton does, that different psychodynamics are involved....and to remember that hitting is always both a matter of choice and the hitter's personal responsibility regardless of past or present factors.
Rating:
Summary: an excellent resource for client and counselor...
Review: ....very thorough and clinically valid in its look at the abuser mentality--but be cautioned not to think there is a single abuser mentality, or even several. I've worked as a therapist with chronic and violent batterers, men who really were arrested for a (nevertheless inexcusable) one-time incident, and lots in between, and it's important to distinguish, as Dutton does, that different psychodynamics are involved....and to remember that hitting is always both a matter of choice and the hitter's personal responsibility regardless of past or present factors.
Rating:
Summary: The Surreal Mind of the Abuser
Review: A much-needed exposition of the habitual batterer's mind, based on hundreds of real-life cases. This book expels the myth that there is a "typical" abuser. There isn't. Abuse cuts across all professions, social-economic strata, levels of income and education, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and location.
To embark on our exploration of the abusive mind, we first need to agree on a taxonomy of abusive behaviours. Methodically observing abuse is the surest way of getting to know the perpetrators. Abusers appear to be suffering from dissociation (multiple personality). At home, they are intimidating and suffocating monsters - outdoors, they are wonderful, caring, giving, and much-admired pillars of the community. Why this duplicity? It is only partly premeditated and intended to disguise the abuser's acts. More importantly, it reflects the his inner world, where the victims are nothing but two-dimensional representations, objects, devoid of emotions and needs, or mere extensions of his self. Thus, to the abuser's mind, his quarries do not merit humane treatment, nor do they evoke empathy. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".
Rating:
Summary: The Surreal Mind of the Abuser
Review: A much-needed exposition of the habitual batterer's mind, based on hundreds of real-life cases. This book expels the myth that there is a "typical" abuser. There isn't. Abuse cuts across all professions, social-economic strata, levels of income and education, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and location.
To embark on our exploration of the abusive mind, we first need to agree on a taxonomy of abusive behaviours. Methodically observing abuse is the surest way of getting to know the perpetrators. Abusers appear to be suffering from dissociation (multiple personality). At home, they are intimidating and suffocating monsters - outdoors, they are wonderful, caring, giving, and much-admired pillars of the community. Why this duplicity? It is only partly premeditated and intended to disguise the abuser's acts. More importantly, it reflects the his inner world, where the victims are nothing but two-dimensional representations, objects, devoid of emotions and needs, or mere extensions of his self. Thus, to the abuser's mind, his quarries do not merit humane treatment, nor do they evoke empathy. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".
Rating: 
Summary: Dr. Dutton, are you aware that batterers are criminals?
Review: As a psychologist who has spent two years leading domestic violence abatement groups, I must disagree with much of what Dr. Dutton reports in his book. He describes batterers as full of self-loathing, yet in two years I have never met one who remotely fit that description. Most of them seemed ashamed of their actions, but consoled themselves by saying the abuse was an isolated incident. The rest denied that they had done anything wrong while simultaneously and smugly declaring that their abuse was justified, and that the only reason they were convicted was because the system is corrupt and they weren't adequately defended in court. If that sounds like typical criminal thought processes, well, it is. Dr. Dutton falls into the same trap that the courts do when they refer all batterers carte-blanche to treatment. They assume that chronic batterers are somehow different from other violent offenders simply because their chosen victim is someone they supposedly love. They ignore a very simple fact that applies to all forms of criminal behavior; many criminals enjoy what they do and feel no "self-loathing" at all. Treating such criminals as if they are sick and need treatment only emboldens them further. Dr. Dutton's recommendations for treatment are particuarly niave. He recommends asking the participants in the group about their abusive behavior during the previous week. This is akin to asking a chronic thief if he has stolen anything recently; it puts them on their defensive high-horse, regardless of the objective truth. In addition it makes the asker look like a fool for expecting to get anything other than the "right" answer. Dr. Dutton also recommends regular contact with the abuser's partner. This is not only foolish, but dangerous. If questionnaires are sent to the partner, make no mistake that the abuser will be filling them out. If the partner is interviewed with the abuser you will only hear what the abuser wants you to hear. If you interview the partner alone the abuser is likely to hit her to make her tell him what she said, hit her again to get what she "really" said, then hit her again to make sure she doesn't forget. The book gets two stars because Dr. Dutton does acknolwedge that not all men who hit are chronic batterers. In addition, he wisely rejects neurological hypotheses that remove responsibility from the abuser. However, no progress can be made in the field of batterer treatment until therapists and the courts start acknolwedging chronic batterers as the criminals they are. The "you need treatment, you don't belong in jail" approach is ineffective because that is what criminals themselves believe.
Rating:
Summary: This book offers hope and advice for both abuser and abused.
Review: I answered yes to all of the questions on the back and throughout the remainder of this outstanding, brave book. If you are living in an abusive relationship, or know someone who is, please, please read this book! The insights are wise and the advice is practical and hopeful. I am choosing to stay in an abusive relationship but at least I know that I can leave if I have to. I have developed a network of friends and support if he ever hits me again and if and when I decide I have had enough of the violent cycle. I am married to a psychiatrist, an educated and truly kind man but he has a rage problem and I have been the brunt of it for nearly 7 years. This book showed me that it wasn't all in my head, my husband needs help. He is a wounded man with the classic childhood of an abuser. This book makes deep, logical sense and should be read by the millions who suffer needlessly in toxic relationships. God bless you, Donald for writing this courageous book!
Rating: 
Summary: " This book nullified the affect of how women behave"
Review: I feel as though there is know reference to how men would want to respond to their spouse other than from drug abuse. This book has giving me advice about how not to intimidate my women, so abuse will not occur in our relationship. I've been in my relationship for 6yrs, with some abuse along the way. Thanks for the advice!!
Rating:
Summary: Excellent
Review: I was a woman in a horribly abusive relationship searching for answers. I lived in constant fear. Then, I happened on this book and it changed my life. I was amazed that it seemed the author must have lived in my home. How else could someone so accurately describe my life? The information gave me power and hope. The book showed me that what was happening was not my fault. I was able to stand up and tell my husband to either get help or I was gone. I was able to stick to my guns. He never really got help but he did read the book. Amazingly the abuse stopped. He realized what he was doing and that he was a product of his environment. This book truly saved my life.
Rating:
Summary: This book saved my life!
Review: I was in a relationship that became abusive after a few months. I was alone in the USA, with very few options. This book literally saved my life! Dr Dutton described my partner's bahavior precisely, and showed me there was virtually no hope of his being able to change. Just knowing the aetiology of his problem was a great comfort. Once I understood what was going on - and could relinquish the dream of an "ideal" relationship, I was able to take action.I left (with the help of a few friends)before there was physical abuse. My advice to women stuck in an abusive relationship: LEAVE!!
Do not stay. Give up the dream, and get on with your life alone. You do not need these men.
Rating: 
Summary: The lifespan social development of intimate abusiveness.
Review: I wrote The Batterer, based on studies of 200+ men to show how early developmental factors such as insecure attachment, experiences of being shamed and observation of violence in the home interact to generate an entire personality that is abusive, not just isolated acts of "battering". These early developmental factors chart a path that is reinforced by later exposure to social attitudes and values. A batterer sees, feels and acts differently in intimate relationships than do other men and acts in a way that is often undetectable from their public persona
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