Rating: ![2 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-2-0.gif) Summary: "Mom, you're embarrassing me!" Review: It's books like this that give narcissistic yuppies of below average intelligence a bad name.Worth noting that even the usually perky 'Publishers Weekly' was appalled. (Read their above review.) Morning sickness was never this bad!
Rating: ![4 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-4-0.gif) Summary: (generally) Good book, silly ending Review: I read this book primarily because of an interest in the strange way the modern medical community handles childbith and an interest in the psychological experience of birth and motherhood (I'm only 21, so no babies now or anytime in the forseeable future!). I though the book was great in the way it tried to honestly deal with these issues. Interestingly, Wolf talks mostly about the problems her friends have (especially regarding marriage). She maybe mentions her own husband twice in the whole book, which I thought was strange... a "speaking silence," but I didn't know what it was saying. If you are pregnant, or thinking of becoming pregnant, however, this would be a great eye-opener ("am I ready for this?"), but it should be taken with a grain of salt. (these are the experiences of an apparently spoiled and privileged feminist)
The "Mother's Manifesto" at the end of the book, however, is hilarious. It is a three page attempt to fix all of the problems with America's response to mothers, and it is ridiculous. Here are her "conclusions":
*Moms and Dads should get six months paid leave (If you have four kids, like my parents, that's a total of four years paid leave that someone has to pay for)
*Wolf acknowledges early in the book that she is a bad driver; not surprisingly, she thinks everyone should move into cute, (ethnically and economically diverse, no doubt) pretty neighborhoods where everything is within walking distance, everything is kid-friendly, there are well-paid and unionized workers at the indoor, heated playground (!!!) to take care of kids while mommies and daddies "telecommute" or check e-mail at provided computers with internet access (SERIOUSLY!) She says something like, "If the government has to subsidize the private sector, so be it!"
*Small but perhaps the most amusing point-- she thinks the government should pay for flight travel so that family can be with the new mom before and after the birth. Government, of course, equals "us."
If not for the last part of the book, this would have been great. As it is, the ridiculous and unreasonable conclusion could almost be read as a satire (perhaps comparable to Utopian literature) in which Wolf reveals how impossible it would be to create this "ideal" world and what a waste of time and energy it would be to attempt to create it. Unfortunately, however, I think Wolf's mindset is that the world owes her "reparations" of sorts for being a woman-- she finds herself unhappily saddled with the dear yet very heavy burden of a completely dependent creature, and she thinks that the government should be forced to handle about 95% of it. Oh please.
Rating: ![4 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-4-0.gif) Summary: worth the read Review: I agree that this book seems like it's a bit of a rant, but it is Naomi Wolf. I actually enjoy it when women get angry and let the world know. Wolf has been criticized for her narrow view of pregnancy/motherhood based on her own experiences and those of her closest circle, but really, as women that is all we have when it comes down to it. It is nice to see her go after the narrow acceptable ways of being pregnant/mothers that this culture allows, because it makes you think. of course she is going to be criticized for doing that, as motherhood and pregnancy are sacred cows still, for whatever reason. I read this book in conjuction with the Mommy Myth, and they went well together. Over all this was a good read, and it does make you question some of what you generally accept (like the anti woman tone of What to expect). You can agree with her or disagree, but at least you've taken it into account. And as to the criticism about Wolf writing only over the narrow experiences of a privileged class, the same argument can and has been levelled at The Beauty Myth.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: Every woman should read this book Review: This book is the most important book I have read since finding out my husband and I were pregnant. I have shared many excerpts with my husband to "enlighten" him about my feelings and experiences. It is not a flowery description of pregnancy or motherhood, and is a bit cynical at times, but it is one thing--real. It helped me prepare myself for the months ahead, and the years ahead as a mother. I recommend this book to all women and men, before, after, or during pregnancy.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: I love it Review: Naomi - thank you. I couldn't agree more!!!!
Rating: ![3 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-3-0.gif) Summary: nothing groundbreaking, but worth a look Review: I'm shocked at how little Naomi felt she knew about pregnancy and birth. I had my first of two sons when I was 18 years old. I turned to numerous resources to educate myself about nutrition, common occurances, word definitions, the birth experience, et cetera. What I experienced (a trouble-free, non-medicated, hospital birth) actually surprised me only in that I thought it would be much worse. I do have to acknowledge that her birth experience was nightmarish. As I read it, I did feel a sense of horror at the way she was treated. Naomi appears to have a lot to say, but in the end she's running in circles with no real conclusions (as if there are any in the U.S.), and no extensive insight. She is talking from her personal experience (thirty-something, married, well-educated, good household income, etc.) I know in her Afterword she attempts to address and/or defend the limited scope of her book. I can talk about my own experience, and have, but I expect more from a writer such as she. I could not relate to her experience on some levels: For example: Many of us do not have the luxury of staying at home, nor do we have the luxury of taking leave when we have children--or for that matter not putting our children in daycare. I went back to work/college two weeks after I had my son. I exclusively nursed, pumped, took him to daycare with me (worked at a care center) and did not complain, because it was something I had to do and I accepted it. I just feel like, in comparison to many women, she has little to complain about. Sorry lil' girl, but this is not a huge revelation to many of us.--There are many other arguments I disagree with--but there are some points in the book I do agree with. These include the dismissive nature doctors have about postpartum depression. I had a severe case with my second son and I felt too embarrassed, too afraid I would be considered unfit if I told my care-provider. When I did, I got a bottle of Celexa and was sent on my way. This, I might add, helped nothing. I also agree with her description of the hospital experience--I compare mine with my sister's experience. I thought my doctor would be there much of the time, coaching me on, being my advocate. Oh, so not true. In my two birthing experiences, nothing could be further from the truth.--And when Naomi mentions in her book about going to dr. appts. and being told that the doctor would be back in a few minutes, I could totally relate. I had no idea that the doctor would come when summoned by the nurses, just moments before the head crowned, then w/o telling me he would cut me open, sew me up, and be done in time for dinner. In comparison, my sister had midwives with her two girls. Her experience was so much more comfortable, so beautiful, and not sterile. I also agree with the way in which your relationship with your spouse may suffer. I too, felt bitter at times, I felt as if I took on all responsibility as far as feeding, changing, and waking up late at night. What I discovered is this: Make him do it! Make your spouse do what you want him to do. After a time, I refused to change a diaper--I asked my husband to do it. I refused to cook dinner at times, and he learned to do it, I told him I needed time off--just to write or read and he would do it. We set in motion a plan that actually has worked. The women Naomi describes become complicit in the way the spouses treat them. They become bitter, as I did, but they do not set boundaries. I think this should be a point she may consider for a new Afterword. One more good point: read pp. 263-264. The last paragraph is especially powerful. All in all, I believe this is an interesting read. I enjoyed the Mother's Manifesto at the end. My conclusion is this: Look at Sweden! My dad lives there--wish I did too. : ) In addition to this book I recommend The Mommy Myth--very good read also.
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