Rating: Summary: Primer: possibly useful for male partner of female survivor Review: As a primer pointing out the issues a female survivor of incest must confront and experience, this book can serve as male partner's reference. It also mentions potential issues the partner can confront as well. However, I cannot recommend it as an in depth treatment of partner issues. Having purchased this book on the recommendation of a partner reading list and the reviews here at amazon, I was sorely disappointed. As a female partner, I did not find any useful strategies or discussions to aid the partner in coping with partner issues such as excessive caretaking, boundary setting or balancing of the partner and survivor's interests. The Laura Davis book, Allies in Healing was more helpful in this area.
Rating: Summary: Excellent Book Review: As the partner of an incest survivor, do you feel like a neglected victim even though your life has been drastically affected by the aftermath of sexual abuse? Do you feel left out in the cold as you watch them go through recovery? Do you feel isolated or rejected, and think that no one else will understand your problems?Then this book is for you. Although the impact of incest or sexual abuse can destroy relationships and test long-standing commitments, the information in this book may be the key to holding your relationship together through the journey to recovery.
Rating: Summary: A must-read for partners of incest survivors Review: Being a survivor myself, and suffering from several mental illnesses, including Dissociative Identity Disorder, I was married eight years before my husband decided to talk with my current therapist and figure out things like: Why I can't just get over it or Why, when having a flashback, I can't simply say, "Oh, this is nothing but my imagination." My therapist recommended this book to him. At first, the book seemed a bit on the old side, but as we read, we discovered many nuggets and wonderment within. This book will explain to partners of incest survivors what the process is (internally) in dealing with trauma, the stages, how to get over their own denials and feelings, how to deal with a strained sex life, dealing with core issues, problem areas, children, transference, the traits of an abuser, the traits of a survivor, getting and staying healthy, finding partner's support groups, etc. My personal favorite chapter is the one on understanding the survivor. It talks of every kind of characteristic from low sex drive to self-harm to eating disorders and beyond. This book is an asset to anyone interested in truama, but a MUST for anyone married to or seeing someone who's encountered incest of any sort. Highly recommended! :v)
Rating: Summary: So important Review: Having been not only married to an insest survivor, but one myself, I can honestly say that this is one of the most useful books out there. If you think you're the only one (or half of a couple), let me assure you that the problem of abuse and incest if more far reaching than you'd ever expect. Do yourself a favor and read this--it will make a difference. Also recommended: McCrae's BARK OF THE DOGWOOD and THE COURAGE TO HEAL
Rating: Summary: Brief overview Review: I have found myself returning to this book time and time again. When you just need answers for your own feelings, and to acknowledge what you are going through as a partner, this book does it. It goes beyond the 3 - 4 page chapters in other books your Significant Other has (or needs to have) for you, the partner. This is one of your books, Partner. Strength to you, you'll need it. Solidarity, Bernie, A Partner...
Rating: Summary: A very good reference book for Partners of Survivors Review: I have found myself returning to this book time and time again. When you just need answers for your own feelings, and to acknowledge what you are going through as a partner, this book does it. It goes beyond the 3 - 4 page chapters in other books your Significant Other has (or needs to have) for you, the partner. This is one of your books, Partner. Strength to you, you'll need it. Solidarity, Bernie, A Partner...
Rating: Summary: Brief overview Review: I read this book and was slightly disappointed. I felt the book was a good overview and good place to begin for partners of incest survivors. However, I thought the book gave mixed messages and did not document its resources of information. This book may not be a good start for christian partners of incest survivors.
Rating: Summary: Good place to start Review: If you find yourself confused, and frustrated, with your partners behaviour due to childhood sexual abuse, and you haven't really looked at any books yet, this is a good starting place. This book is not too long, but loaded with good insights and well written. It is also very honest and forces us as partners to look at ourselves. It is noteworthy that Graber forces us as partners to think about the reasons we may have been drawn to childhood survivors of abuse. Perhaps it is not what we want to read or think about, and maybe it doesn't apply to everyone, but these are good questions to be asking...This is why I highly disagree with reviews that criticize invcluding a focus on the partners' behavioral patterns. It is well worth thinking about. Overall, i think this book, if anything, will make you feel like you are not alone and in the least can serve as a "friend" when you are feeling confused. Lastly, its positive that this book does not advocate saving the relationship no matter what. Everybody's situation is different. Again, I highly recommend this book if you would like have a little more insight regarding your relationship and willing to take an honest look at yourself too.
Rating: Summary: This is the finest book for partners of survivors Review: Of the books written about survivors of sexual abuse/incest (and I've read almost all of them over the past 25 or so years), Ken Graber's Ghosts in the Bedroom is the finest and clearest I know of for partners of incest survivors. It is concise and well organized, and it raises and addresses questions that those who love, or are in a relationship with, a survivor need answered. I recommend it highly to anyone in such a relationship and also to those men and woman who are themselves victims/survivors of sexual abuse and incest.
Rating: Summary: A Lives Saver Review: The first and best book I found to help guide me through my wifes journey from abuse victim to survivor. Frank, honest & brief, Mr. Graber unviels many of the mysteries that partners of abuse survivors experience. This book helped me determine my role in this journey. I read this book many times, and reread specific sections when faced with things I did not understand. While this book is not in any way spiritually based, I must say God Bless Mr. Graber.
|