From Defiance to Cooperation: Real Solutions for Transforming the Angry, Defiant, Discouraged Child

Rating:
Summary: Compassionate and sensitive to the child
Review: As a psychologist who works closely with this population, I value this book for its sensitivity to the inner struggles of a defiant child. The parenting strategies are not the typical behavioral strategies mentioned in most books of this type; they are better. I especially like his 5 step procedure for helping parents to confront children about their behavior. I also like his message on how to create emotional safety for these children and how to use wise, preventive discipline. I have repeatedly recommended this book to parents who wish to better understand their children with this condition.

Rating:
Summary: Never mind my child-- now I'M angry and defiant!
Review: Believe me, any parent dealing with the angry, defiant, discouraged child will gladly plunk down the $15.95 for the "real solutions for transformation" promised by Taylor. Only problem is, 1/4 of the way into the book, it becomes evident that Taylor soundly believes that YOU are your child's most severe problem, and YOU must be "fixed" as quickly as possible to heal your child. Your child suffers only from fear, which coincidentally, you just so happened to have created in your child. HOGWASH! This quackery harkens back to the days when autism was blamed on the mother's inability to "fully bond" with the child. We know better now, yet thousands of families suffered needlessly in the process. Gee- this is something new coming from the psychiatric community-- we don't know what in the world is wrong with these children, so, hey LET'S BLAME THE PARENTS!! When we're done with the scapegoating, let's drug the little devils as well. That'll solve the problem. At least it'll keep 'em quiet in the movie theater.
DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. The damage done could be far worse than the $15.95 you've wasted.

Rating:
Summary: Helpful? Ha.
Review: The gist of this book is that if your child is defiant, it must be because you, the parent, is too controlling. Give the child what he wants and quit bugging him.

Um, no. Has this author ever spent any time with a defiant preschooler? If I didn't try to control him somewhat, he'd spend most of his life naked in front of the tv eating cookies. This book was no help at all.

Rating:
Summary: Worth it if you need an attitude shift
Review: This book helped me achieve one major goal: my attitude shifted after I read it. If you're considering buying this book, you've probably reached the point of despair -- even hopelessness -- as I had. I was at the end of my rope emotionally. This book reminded me that what my child needs most is my understanding, support and unconditional love. It sounds simple, but when you're a stay-at-home mom taking care of a defiant 4-year-old, you can't be reminded enough that your child is not "out to get you" or behaving this way to drive you crazy. Your child is a child. This book treats children like the innocent little being they are. Dr. Taylor never uses negative language or terminology when describing the child's behavior. I had a new attitude and a renewed sense of purpose immediately upon reading this book. Dr. Taylor provides lists of easy-to-remember steps to take when dealing with an oppositional or defiant child. I began implementing his philosophy right away -- what these kids want is a verbal debate, so don't enter into one to begin with. The very first day, my son tried to get my goat by kicking a pumpkin we had just purchased, and when I said nothing, he said to me "I thought that would make you mad." I simply said, "Nope. I'm not mad at all. It's your pumpkin; if you kick it and it breaks you will no longer have it." For the first time in a long time, we side-stepped a verbal debate with ease. So, why didn't I give this book 5 stars? Only because I think the reading public would be better served by 2 books. Dr. Taylor tries to address parents of teens as well as toddlers, so I skipped over some sections that didn't apply to my son. I would love to read a book by Dr. Taylor that just focusses on toddler (mis)behavior, but I'm extremely glad to have read this one.