Loving Your Child Is Not Enough: Positive Discipline That Works

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Summary: A very passive approach...
Review: I was looking for a book about discipline that helps increase self-confidence rather than undermine it. I picked up this book, which turned out to be not at all practical for parenting my high-spirited and generally well-behaved daughter. The suggested responses to situations are very passive and assume the child gives up very easily. Samalin suggests replacing obviously abusive language ("Pick up that coat this minute! Why are you so sloppy? Didn't you ever hear of a coat hanger?") with oddly passive-aggressive language ("Coats belong in the closet, not on the floor.") (p. 16). Other conversatons in the book presume that as soon as a child's feelings are acknowledged, all battles will be over. But in my experience, pretending behavior problems don't exist doesn't make them go away, so I found this book to be impractical. If you want to take a direct rather than passive approach to parenting your kids, this is not the book for you.

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Summary: The Best Parenting Book I've Read!
Review: In all my years of being an educator--29--this is by far the best book on parenting I have read! It reminds me of the "old school" math books--chock full of practical, down-to-earth examples, not theory--of how to enact positive discipline in your children. Ms. Samalin's wealth of experience is brought to bear in this book, and she runs the gamut in age ranges--from the toddler through and including high schoolers. This book is an absolute must for any parent--from the first time parent to one having a fourth child. If you think you know all there is to know about parenting, read this book and get ready to "think again." I guarantee this book will open you to effective ways to improve your relationships with your children, aside from enacting positive discipline, that you have not thought of before. To paraphrase a famous ad slogan, "Just Do It"--Read This Book!

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Summary: A PHENOMENAL PARENTING AID
Review: My partner and I just finished reading this book. He spent days highlighting specific points that he wished for me to pay special attention to. This book made an incredible impression on me. I've already begun taking "baby steps" in using some of the suggestions with my son, age 11 and I've alredy begun to see "results" in his smiles! Most importantly, I was reminded of the vital importance of choosing ones words very carefully when interacting with your children (for that matter, everyone) because a word and/or a tone can make such a difference! Thank you, Ms. Samalin, for your pearls of wisdom!

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Summary: A superb book about sensible parenting
Review: Nancy Samalin has written a crucial book on parenting, how to be sensible, authoritative, and regain the sanity you need to do the job well. Everyone ought to read this. It sure helped me and my kids!

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Summary: Great Resource!
Review: Nancy Samalin's books are not just a one time read.... Her books are wonderful resource materials with practical reminders for everyday parenting. Her real life experience and actual related examples in the books are sure to ring familiar to parents of children of all ages. Find usable advice and solutions for parenting that you can refer to often.

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Summary: Worthwhile Reading For Parents and Parents To Be
Review: Nancy Samalin's style of writing is easy to read and understand. It is not clinical, and it is written with humor and just good sense. I learned so much from this book and used it actively with my son. My husband listened to the audio tape so we were both on the same "page" so to speak. The helpful strategies and hints worked very well with our son and I recommend this book highly. I also give it as a gift to all new Mom's.

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Summary: Building a foundation for life
Review: Nancy's three books underscore the importance of trust and respect in building a relationship with our children. A child who is secure and trusting learns to respect the limits set by his parents and later recognizes those limits as an act of love. A child learns respect from parents who respect themselves and each other as competent teachers of discipline. Nancy's thought provoking yet practical advice gives parents the skills needed for a confident and consistent parenting style. Our 3 children are 25, 19, and 9 years old. I have had the opportunity of sharing Nancy's insights with the older 2 while applying her principles in a firm and loving manner with the youngest. It's never too late to expand one's parenting repertoire! Thanks, Nancy! Julaine Brent, Toronto, Ontario March 20, 2000.

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Summary: Tremendously Effective
Review: Out of the numerous parenting books I've read this is BY FAR the best. Unlike the other ones which give broad generalizations about child communications and behavior, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough gives specific dialogs and actions to use in a variety of stressful situations. I've recommend Samalin's books to many of my friends and I would certainly recommend it to you if you're interested in improving your relationship with your children and educating yourself in communication skills. Believe me, reading this book will have a major impact on your life and the payoff is tremendous.

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Summary: This changed our family's lives; our children are happier.
Review: So many of us grow up with parental criticism. It colors the way we view ourselves and how we raise our own children. Of course, children need limits. But how to impose those limits is no easy task. Which helps to make parenting the hardest job everyone will ever do. When we read chapter 6 "Constructive Criticism Isn't -- Building Self Esteem" we realized what we'd been doing all these years. And how this was hurting our son, our daughter, and tearing the fabric of our entire family. We heard ourselves in the scripted examples that Ms. Samalin gave. She illustrated for us exactly what we were doing. It was as though there was a hidden camera and microphone hidden in our house and someone was playing it back for us. And we were both saddened by what we sounded like. We believed we were better parents than that. After reading this book, we finally are. We thank Nancy Samalin for writing this and helping us

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Summary: A Must-Read for All Parents!
Review: The best parenting book I've ever read. Filled with detailed examples of how real family members talk and act with one another, and how the particular words we use either improve or sabotage our efforts to discipline. Unlike other books which generalize about child development/behavior, this one suggests specific words and actions to use in a variety of situations. The result is to minimize our children's negative responses, and encourage them to exercise good judgement and take responsibility for their actions. Parents, teachers and caregivers will be filled with a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm after reading this book. Buy a copy for yourself and give it as a gift to others -- especially new or expectant parents. You can't get started on the road to happy parenting and family life too early!