Parenting an Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only

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Summary: Wonderful, informative book
Review: I thoroughly enjoyed this book. My husband and I recently decided to make our daughter our "only". He, being an only, of course is confident that all will be fine but I needed some reassurance and data to make me feel more comfortable. This book not only made me feel very comfortable and happy about our decision but also made me aware of the different pitfalls that may occur in the one child family - very avoidable pitfalls if aware of them before they occur. I highly recommend this book to any parents of only children or those contemplating the decision.

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Summary: Parenting An Only Child
Review: I thought that this book was okay but it was more for working and older parents. It didn't really help me as a stay at home mom.

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Summary: Changes how you parent an only child...for the better
Review: If I ever worried that the three of us weren't a perfect family, Susan Newman's book changed my mind. We were the problem, not the number of children we had. What we needed to change was our thinking and not allow our daughter to be the center of our universe. This book told us how to do that and how how to avoid her becoming spoiled. These new parenting skills have actually improved our relationship with our daughter. The book also is helping us plan for her when we are old so she will have a support system in place.

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Summary: Light weight
Review: If you want moral support for your choice to have one child, this author will give it to you. If you want hard, unbiased evidence that debunks the persistent myths, you won't find much. It's not enough to say "I spoke to so-and-so who is an only child and she thinks it's fine."

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Summary: Covers all the basics
Review: In recent years one-child families have risen: Parenting An Only Child covers all the basics; from understanding the decision or need to have only one child to disciplining the only child and fostering his independence and communication skills with peers. Singe parenting and family networks are also covered.

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Summary: A must-read for a parent of an only child
Review: My husband and I had pretty much decided not to have anymore children but still had some reservations. However after reading this book I can say that I am much more at ease with the decision. Dr. Newman did so much research and includes quotes and other examples directly not only from educators and doctors, but from real people who are the parents of only children and, most importantly, only children themselves. The reader gets a broad spectrum of input from many different people yet the author ensures that the most important point remain clear--that only children are not deprived, spoiled, overly dependent or social recluses. Dr. Newman, along with her myriad of real-life interviewees, truly takes a stand against the ideas that society has implanted into the minds of parents, making them believe that their child will grow up "missing something" or be maladjusted simply because they do not have a sibling. Dr. Newman also makes sure to include what "not" to do as the parent of an only...some common traps and other unintentional mistakes parents of onlies can make. My son is only three, so this book gave me tremendous insight, advice and suggestions on how to not treat him like an "only child," but simply how to love him as an individual person, regardless of anything else. This book is really about common sense. ALL children go through stages of clinginess, hitting or other beahvioral problems, difficulty with sharing, etc. Yet only children tend to get singled out when these things occur because ignorant people assume they don't have the social skills like a child with a sibling. A child can also prefer to play alone or enjoy solitary activities, siblings or not. Children have innate qualities from birth that don't have anything to do with the number of siblings they have and the reader is reminded of this throughout. She also gives suggestions on how to respond to those who can pressure you into having more. I found that very helpful because pressures to have the typical 2.2 children are very strong.

The only thing I found a little disappointing about the book is the way the author portrays the scenario of what life could be like with additional children. I myself am one of five children and growing up I didn't experience any of the "turmoil" that Dr. Newman mentions in her examples. Although I am of course viewing my own childhood from a child's perspective and not that of my parents. However I always felt loved and nurtured despite having a chaotic house full of kids. I'm quite certain my parents had their moments but any problems they had did not stem from the number of children they had. They enjoyed having a large family, in fact they wanted more than they got! I also have an excellent relationship with all my siblings. Dr. Newman suggests the idea that parents may consider having one simply so their kids don't fight. She also brings up reasons like diaper changes and midnight feedings as reasons to not have anymore. I think things like that are pretty ridiculous reasons. I don't think you can base not having another child on a temporary stage of life that they will grow out of. Reasons need to run deeper than that. So I do have to disagree with Dr. Newman's theories on this topic only, because I don't think they apply universally yet she writes as if they do. I understand her thinking behind them, yet I think if she had left these kinds of things out of the book it would have sounded a little less negative. She does an excellent job of portraying the positives of having one but should have done it without "scare tactics" and silly reasoning.

I still give the book 5 stars however, because I am taking from it what I want and discarding the above-mentioned issues. I'm sure this book will become an important reference tool as well as a reminder to me in the future that I am not doing my son a disservice by not giving him a sibling, which I think is one of the key elements in the book. It's the first book I've read on the subject and I think it will be the only one I'll need.

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Summary: Not quite what I expected
Review: My husband and I have decided that we want to keep our only an only, but not really for the reasons in this book. I was disappointed that the author spoke a lot of somewhat selfish reasons, perhaps suggesting that having another child would not fit the parents' "lifestyle." It just seemed negative to me. There were some parts of the book that were helpful, though...I liked when the author asked if the parent was really ready to end the love affair with the first child. No, we are not! But our reasons were not mentioned: we struggled with IF and a horrible pregnancy. I'm not sure that I could be an effective parent to my daughter now if I were to become pregnant again. None of those health-related issues were addressed. Also, regarding the advice in the book that is offered so that you do not *spoil* your only...must of it applies to ALL children...not just singletons. I appreciated what the author was trying to accomplish, but I just didn't care so much for this book. I'll keep looking.

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Summary: Wonderfully Informative and Reassuring
Review: Newman dispels all those awful myths about onlies -- and reassures parents that wanting to have only one child is not something they should feel guilty about. Rather, she reaffirms that the experience of having one child can be fulfilling -- and enough. Particularly helpful were the interviews with onlies themselves. I highly recommend this book to anyone who's wrestling with the decision whether to have another child and those who know they will only have the one.

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Summary: No More excuses!
Review: No way am I having any more children. This book gave me answers when people keep asking me when am I going to have a second child. An answer for my mother-in-law, an answer for my husband, and anyone else who keeps carping on this. The chapter that blows holes in the stereotype that people try to pin on only children, gave me more ammunition and made me feel really great about how my son is developing.

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Summary: THE reference book for parents who need reassurance
Review: THE reference book for parents who need reassurance that their decision is a good one, both for their child and for themselves. In real life, having an only child is never presented as a choice, but rather as something that is imposed on you by mother nature or exterior factors. In this book, I realized there are so many advantages in parenting an only child, and for my child too. I had never thought of some things Susan Newman tells in her book, so it's great for asking yourself the right questions if you are considering having an only.