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Summary: Temperamental Difficulties
Review: The Difficult Child is a self-help book for the parents of children with difficult temperaments. While all children have characteristic behavioral quirks, temperaments are so deep-seated that they manifest in infancy and are usually retained for a lifetime. Since temperaments can be inherited, they are probably linked to specific genes. In fact, one behavioral trait -- high activity level -- in mice seems to be associated with a specific gene (along with other characteristics), but such traits have not yet been genetically identified in humans.This book concentrates on nine particularly difficult temperaments: high activity level, distractibility, high intensity, irregularity, negative persistence, low sensory threshold, initial withdrawal, poor adaptability, and negative mood. A child who exhibits some or all of these temperamental characteristics is usually not the child that the parents expected and therefore can be difficult to handle properly. High activity level is obviously wearisome for the parents, babysitters and other caretakers. Distractibility is often irritating since the child can't stay with one thing very long. High intensity refers to habitual loudness, which causes its own problems. Irregularity refers to confused circadian rhythms, which means the child is often not ready to eat or sleep at any fixed time. Negative persistence refers to lengthy whines and tantrums, drawing out every disagreement to the point of absurdity. Low sensory threshold refers to physical sensitivity to clothing, noises, colors, tastes and other sensory stimuli, leading to definite likes and dislikes. Initial withdrawal refers to timid reactions at first to new things. Poor adaptability refers to difficultly changing activities, clothing, or even locations. Negative mood refers to grumpiness, showing little or no cheerfulness. These temperamental types are particularly difficult for parents to understand or manage. At first the parents believe something is wrong with the child, particularly when the child cries at odd times, stays up late, and so forth. When their pediatrician states that nothing is wrong with the child, except maybe a little colic, the parents are mystified when this behavior continues for months and years. First, these temperaments are normal, although not extremely common. They do not indicate any defect or disease in the baby, just different ways of responding to the world. Once these differences are identified, they can be managed. Moreover, the child can be trained to control these traits to some extent by learning good habits. However, these temperaments are part of the child and so the child would be more comfortable in surroundings where these temperaments are known, expected, and allowed a certain amount of free rein. Of course, there are various ailments that can produce similar behavior patterns. Some of the more common are touched on within this book. However, the authors assume that you will have already had your child examined by a qualified pediatrician, will continue to take your child for regularly scheduled checkups, and will bring any subsequent problems to his attention. If you always keep him informed, you can let the doctor worry about such things. Read this book. Even if none of this sounds like your child, read the first chapter of the book; you will learn a lot about your own child, despite their lack of difficult temperament. However, if any of these temperaments fits your child, read the whole book and have your spouse do so also. If nothing else, this book will give you some of the right questions to ask your pediatrician the next time you corner him in his office. Once you have read this book, you will want to find out more about temperament and human differences. This book is only the first step in the rest of your career as parents. And as grandparents.
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Summary: Not great...
Review: This book does give some insight into temperment. I don't think it truly provides solutions to parents that will help them deal with difficult children. The author's approach is very behaviouristic and authoritarian. Most parents would find it hard to do some of the things Turecki suggests. He uses alot of negative labels for children's behaviour; he seems to be stigmatizing these children. It's a very simplistic approach. There are better methods available for helping parents cope with high energy children. I'd read Mary Sheedy Kurchinka's Raising Your Spirited Child and the follow-up to it, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles.
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Summary: I really recommend this book!
Review: This book saved my relationship with my son. I read it when it first came out in '89 when my son was 2. He is now 12 and we still use the strategies in the book. I am excited to see that it has been revised. I work in a clinic for developmentally challenged kids and often recommend it to families when their child presents with termpermental and behavioral difficulties. It is a great resource and the stories are funny and heart warming. Parents will see themselves with these kids and know there is hope and help. Thanks!
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Summary: Infromative and reassuring
Review: This book should provide some relief for parents struggling with a challengeng child. The temperamental traits which make a child difficult are well explained with advice on how to cope. Some might be put off because it seems to be directed mainly stay at home moms and the way that a typical family is presented. What I liked is that it teaches parents to become assertive and authorative resisting the temptation to reason or over explain family rules and requests. What helped us with our child was to establish firm consistant limits and boundaries which enabled him to develop and grow. On the other hand I disagreed with the use of rewards or punishment to change behaviour. Also I had doubts about the notion of always trying to separate temeramental behaviour from normal misbehaviour as the critical factor in how you deal with it. Overall the book is very authorative and insightful covering many areas of interrest to parents including medications. I still would recommend reading the book "The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful and Independant Kids" for further understanding of difficult behaviour.
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Summary: Easy answers to hard questions
Review: This book would be a useful resource for any parent planning to run a residential school for troubled children, because many of the suggested solutions would fit that paradigm. The chapters discussing temperment, fit, and how we feed into our childrens' behavior might be useful for a parent at the end of their rope or one simply curious about their child.
Before you think that Dr. Turecki has solutions for your particular situation, be very sure that you want to define what behaviors you want to see from your child, craft a plan to reward based on those behaviors, and then follow through with consequences you make up. Sounds like regular parenting? Nope. It's based on a token economy model -- just like your local mental hospital! There are good ways to relate to difficult children. Reading other books on the subject, making connections to good parents who will let you vent and give experience-based advice, and taking lots of deep breaths would probably be time better spent than in the company of these authors.
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Summary: The Difficult Child
Review: This is an excellent book for ALL parents, not just parents of "difficult children." The title might scare or offend some parents who are in denial, thinking that their child is not difficult. But ALL kids are difficult from time to time. This book give great, real-life examples - extremely helpful tips telling us what to do. And all this is to be done under a firm, but very loving manner. This definitely is one of the best parenting books out there. A must-read for ALL parents.
Rating:
Summary: The Difficult Child
Review: This is an excellent book for ALL parents, not just parents of "difficult children." The title might scare or offend some parents who are in denial, thinking that their child is not difficult. But ALL kids are difficult from time to time. This book give great, real-life examples - extremely helpful tips telling us what to do. And all this is to be done under a firm, but very loving manner. This definitely is one of the best parenting books out there. A must-read for ALL parents.
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Summary: educational
Review: We have 2 adopted children that are difficult. By reading Dr. Turecki's book we have been able to eliminate alot of our meal time vs eat time, and bed time vs sleep time struggles. We have a lot more to learn. I am glad I found the book at the library. After renewing it 3 times I decided to buy it.
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