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Summary: An answer to prayer..
Review: I found this book on the library sale table and bought it for ten cents...and I really believe that God led me to it. After reading all I could find about strong-willed or ADD children, I never felt like I'd found anything that described my child, or was helpful with the particular problems that I was having with him. But this book was a salvation when I was at the very end of my rope. BUY IT. READ IT. It saved my sanity, and my relationship with my very different and special child.
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Summary: i think this is a very useful book
Review: I found this book very useful and by reading it I learned many things about my boy that I didn't understand very well. I wish you could tell me if there is a traslation to spanish, because I want some of my friends and family to read it, but they can't read english. Thank you
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Summary: excellent and insightful
Review: I learned more from this book than the many other parenting books I've read. Dr. Turecki's link between temperment and behavior has given me a totally new perspective on handling my daughter. His ideas and suggestions are innovative and very practical. I recommend this book to everyone I know who has a difficult child. Excellent!
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Summary: The Nuked Family
Review: I ordered this book because I work with autistic children, and I was curious to see what kind of advice was being given to parents of difficult children; many mildly autistic children are not diagnosed until they are in school and are referred for testing for learning disabilities.The one error Dr. Turecki makes is in assuring parents a little too strongly that difficult children are normal children with irratic temperaments. In my experience, children with Asperger's Syndrome, Tourette's Syndrome, and mild hearing impairments are frequently misdiagnosed as ADHD, or not diagnosed at all. I realize that the purpose of the book it to provide advice, and moreover reassurance for parents with difficult children, and Dr. Turecki may have considered including a chapter on easily misdiagnosed disabilities, abandoning the idea for fear that it would worry parents. Moreover, much of the advice in the book would help parents locked into circular behavior patterns even with children who have mild disabilities. Turecki has much insight into a child's perception of the world, and he reminds parents of many of the feelings they once had, but have long ago forgotten: what it was like to wait interminably in a store in line, not knowing the reason, and too small to see over the display counters, for example. Turecki discusses children's perceptions of many common situations, and goes on to explain that these situations are even more difficult for a child who is especially active, oversensitive to smells or temperatures, afraid of crowds, or not predictable in appetite or bathroom habits. In an engaging narrative voice, Turecki lays out different factors of temperament, and catagorizes children according to the areas in which each seems to be overly, or under sensitive. Some children just CAN'T sit still; it's their nature. If the same child is overwhelmed by smells, and frightened by new places, a trip to an unfamiliar restaurant is likely to be a disaster, and it might be better to leave the child with a sitter. Turecki does not place blame anywhere: he simply acknowledges that this is the child's temperament (a word he uses frequently). It is not the child's fault. He is not misbehaving on purpose to "get" his parents -- much as they may feel so. He is not whining to get his way. On the other hand, this is not the parents' fault when other people look at them, or ask why they can't control their child, the answer is that the child is very difficult. Almost ad infinitem, Turecki pours reassurance over the parents of difficult children. He borrows a term already in use, and refers in quotes to he most difficult "mother-killers." He tells the mothers of these children, "Yes, you do work harder; no you don't get the same 'pay-off' other parents get, and it's not fair." But them after analysis, he offers several chapters of creative solutions for dealing effectively with these children, and lowering the stress and tension in the house, as well as quelling the covert message to the child that he is the cause of the problems. These are set out in an easy to follow 6 chapter program. The parent may not see progress immediately (or might; the program looks very effective), but just knowing that a program is being followed, and having the book to turn to will be reassuring to many parents. Even if the child is not yet showing progress, the parents will know they are doing something, and that alone may give them some personal relief.
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Summary: Difficult Behavior or Difficult Child?
Review: I purchased this book after I received a call from the administration at my child's daycare requesting a parent teacher conference due to my 2 and a half year olds behavior. I read the book attentively but found that according to the author's definitions of a difficult child, there is not one child I have met who is not difficult. In addition, I found the title of the book disturbing. Not exactly the type of book to carry around in your purse for a quick read at the park while your child is using the swings. Not only that, but the label "difficult child" is rather disconcerting to the children that are indeed "difficult". I much prefer the book 1-2-3 Magic over this one because it addresses difficult behavior rather than difficult children. In addition, a difficult baby does not always mean a difficult child and vice versa as the author contends. If you're looking to catagorize your child as inherently difficult, than this is the book for you as all children will find a place in it. If you're looking to manage difficult behavior, I don't know if the strategies described by the author are necessarily the most effective.
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Summary: children are great but pains sometimes.
Review: i think that children should be punished and not beaten. when i have kids mine will behave and respect their elders.so i think that if people have kids they need to raise them right so they don't act like that.i blame the parents for the kids acting like that.i think if the parents act like that their kids will act like that too so if the parents want their kids to act like perfect children they should disapline them the right way so that is my review of this book.
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Summary: Outstanding Eye-Opener
Review: Some kids don't work the way parents think they do. This book helps explain the child which is not easy or strong willed. They see life different than what the parent is familure with. I do believe that God put this book in my path. As a result my child, my wife and I have had a much happier life.
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Summary: I found My Child in these Pages
Review: Struggling with a child who is not a special needs child but still not your regular average kid, this book showed me what I have been searching for . . . a means to understand my child. Any parent who struggles with the same challenge can find their child here too, and start to recover from painful isolation, guilt and embarrassment in the first 50 pages. The book could expand on advice and get to the "fix" faster than it does, but I'm grateful still to have discovered this book.
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Summary: I'm not a bad parent...he's a difficult child.
Review: The biggest thing this book did for me was to make me realize that I wasn't going crazy. I went into counseling thinking I couldn't cope as a wife/mother. I was blaming it all on my husband. Meanwhile my 3 yr old son was constantly hitting, kicking and throwing and not responding to any form of discipline. The pediatrician's office recommended this book. I saw my child in the pages...sensory sensitivity, moodiness, etc. And I saw myself...an overwhelmed, depressed Mom. This book gave me HOPE. We are finding out that there are "un-obvious" developmental reasons behind my son's behavior so the book is not totally applicable. However, the HOPE that this book gave me, made it a very worthwhile investment.
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Summary: Temperamental Difficulties
Review: The Difficult Child is a self-help book for the parents of children with difficult temperaments. While all children have characteristic behavioral quirks, temperaments are so deep-seated that they manifest in infancy and are usually retained for a lifetime. Since temperaments can be inherited, they are probably linked to specific genes. In fact, one behavioral trait -- high activity level -- in mice seems to be associated with a specific gene (along with other characteristics), but such traits have not yet been genetically identified in humans. This book concentrates on nine particularly difficult temperaments: high activity level, distractibility, high intensity, irregularity, negative persistence, low sensory threshold, initial withdrawal, poor adaptability, and negative mood. A child who exhibits some or all of these temperamental characteristics is usually not the child that the parents expected and therefore can be difficult to handle properly. High activity level is obviously wearisome for the parents, babysitters and other caretakers. Distractibility is often irritating since the child can't stay with one thing very long. High intensity refers to habitual loudness, which causes its own problems. Irregularity refers to confused circadian rhythms, which means the child is often not ready to eat or sleep at any fixed time. Negative persistence refers to lengthy whines and tantrums, drawing out every disagreement to the point of absurdity. Low sensory threshold refers to physical sensitivity to clothing, noises, colors, tastes and other sensory stimuli, leading to definite likes and dislikes. Initial withdrawal refers to timid reactions at first to new things. Poor adaptability refers to difficultly changing activities, clothing, or even locations. Negative mood refers to grumpiness, showing little or no cheerfulness. These temperamental types are particularly difficult for parents to understand or manage. At first the parents believe something is wrong with the child, particularly when the child cries at odd times, stays up late, and so forth. When their pediatrician states that nothing is wrong with the child, except maybe a little colic, the parents are mystified when this behavior continues for months and years. First, these temperaments are normal, although not extremely common. They do not indicate any defect or disease in the baby, just different ways of responding to the world. Once these differences are identified, they can be managed. Moreover, the child can be trained to control these traits to some extent by learning good habits. However, these temperaments are part of the child and so the child would be more comfortable in surroundings where these temperaments are known, expected, and allowed a certain amount of free rein. Of course, there are various ailments that can produce similar behavior patterns. Some of the more common are touched on within this book. However, the authors assume that you will have already had your child examined by a qualified pediatrician, will continue to take your child for regularly scheduled checkups, and will bring any subsequent problems to his attention. If you always keep him informed, you can let the doctor worry about such things. Read this book. Even if none of this sounds like your child, read the first chapter of the book; you will learn a lot about your own child, despite their lack of difficult temperament. However, if any of these temperaments fits your child, read the whole book and have your spouse do so also. If nothing else, this book will give you some of the right questions to ask your pediatrician the next time you corner him in his office. Once you have read this book, you will want to find out more about temperament and human differences. This book is only the first step in the rest of your career as parents. And as grandparents.
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