HOLDING TIME

Rating:
Summary: A Must! for Anyone Adopting
Review: I did holding time with my and 8 & 9 year old sosn (We are now adopting him), and I feel Holding Time was essential to our bonding and attachment to each other. Without it, I don't feel I would have been able to get together with my child. my child was neglected and abused at an early age and he suffers from attachment disorder. Through Holding Time techniques I was able to overcome his emotional distress. I felt so much hope and I could see the part of him that was usually covered up. I had no anger and felt only closeness and tenderness. I was able to share his sadness and pain. In a way I think Holding Time helped me give birth to my adopted boy. I now feel very close to him and he to me.

Rating:
Summary: Seven Years later - A retrospective review
Review: I first bought Dr. Welch's book seven and half years ago, when it was recommended to me by a child welfare case worker who could see that the adoptive placement of my daughter, then seven and a half, was going to disrupt, this child's second placement, if things didn't change. I read the book in one evening. The next morning, instead of the usual tantrum filled struggle to ready her for the bus ride to the psychiatric day treatment "school", I held her instead. It was 45 minutes of pure rage directed at my face... and then a psycho-biochemical miracle occurred. Her face smoothened, she began looking directly at me... and she explored my face. Me? I felt a 'natural high' that can only be experienced, not properly expressed. It was like falling in love, only far more intense. Did one session really "cure" her? No... it took many holding sessions, along with conventional therapy, and many other theraputic parenting techniques, but my lovely daughter is now 15 years old. A very happy, well mannered, loving teenager. A teenager who proudly tells her friends what a great mom she has. How does she feel about the Holding Time sessions today? She recently looked on with calm approval as an intense Holding Time session of a six year old boy and her mother unfolded. Far from the "abuse" that other reviewers here have castigated this technique, this is a solid and loving tool for reaching children, both wounded and merely frustrated, supporting the bond between parent and child. The book is simply written, for use by every parent, not for academics who would insist on footnoots for every passing comment. The pictures used are very useful in that they demonstrate the emotions that are played out during a Holding Time session. They clearly show how the process works and gives a hint of what the parent and child will experience by following the technique. My only negative comment is regarding the unfortunate maternal chauvinism expressed by Dr. Welch. This is suggestive of a political belief, rather than a considered professional conclusion.

Rating:
Summary: Day Care and Holding Time
Review: I purchased a copy of Holding Time and have used the holding technique from time to time although not regularly. It does seem to have good benefits.

I was having massive guilt and problems with the care of our baby girl, who was in a small day care and Dr. Welch strongly advised that we take her out of day care and have my mother-in-law come live with us and care for Piper instead.

I wanted to let you know that we did decide to do this at the end of December. My mother-in-law now stays at our house Sunday night through Thursday and I stay home on Fridays so that I can be with Shirley through the weekend. It is working very well. Shirley is even more loving than before and seems to be a very happy, very well adjusted toddler (in addition to being incredibly cute).

I just wanted to express my thanks and gratitude for your book and for your sound advice.



Rating:
Summary: Works with adults too
Review: I read the book because I was looking for a way to connect with my spouse and this book helped a lot! Of course for an adult some modifications are in order! Her explanations of the role of parents was very enlightening too. Wish I had had the book when my kids were young and at home! It would have made a big difference! But it was nice to know that one could start at any age and help to connect in unimaginable ways with spouses, kids and even friends! It has also helped a lot with my feelings of being unlovable and insecure. I recommend it to any and all.

Rating:
Summary: My child was traumatized by Holding Time
Review: I read this book because my child's other parent and stepparent decided to use this therapy as a disciplinary measure. When he returned to my home and told me about it, he was in great distress. He said he would not go back to their house as long as they were doing this. H said that he hated it, that he felt like he couldn't breathe, that the more he struggled, the tighter they held him, and that if he struggled too much they wrapped him tightly in a blanket. He said that they were doing this to "bond the kids and the parents." He hated hated hated it.

Now, maybe if they kept doing it every day for a while, he would have softened and stroked their faces? Maybe. All I saw was a very saddened child, who felt that the adults in his life were forcing something on him, and that he and they were both out of control...

I also read "Let Me Hear Your Voice" by Catherine Maurice. She met and worked with Martha, and did not leave the experience with positive feelings. Please check out this side of the story before proceeding with this method on your child.

Rating:
Summary: Ten Year Veteran of Holding Time - It Works
Review: I was introduced to Dr. Welch's ideas and Holding Time 10 years ago, when a psychotherapist colleague listened to my story of despair and suggested I read Holding Time. I located a copy and hungrily devoured the book in a sitting, and started using holding time with my 3 year old son and my 6 year old son. The results were immediate, long-lasting, and transformational. Dr. Welch's method has saved me and my family, and I am more grateful than words will ever express. Now, after 10 years, all the members of my family are thriving, and my oppositional, rejecting, phobic, bed-wetting, learning disabled older son has
developed beautifully. He is a brilliant, easy-going, witty, high-achieving, capable, loving, cooperative, handsome, healthy young man. We still hold.

Rating:
Summary: Bonding to Access Unconditional Love
Review: I would like to express a deep admiration for Dr. Welch and her 20+ years of experience with this therapy. It is not a fad therapy, but is based upon the findings of Nobel Prize-winning Ethologist Niko Tinbergen and attachment theory scientist Bowlby. Holding Therapy applies the findings of these two and other scientists -- mainly that behavior is conditioned, and that conditioned behavior can be changed -- to the treatment of autism, reactive attachment disorder and other behavioral problems. Dr. Welch is not only a psychiatrist, she is a neuroscientist, about to publish her findings on the brain chemistry which makes holding therapy work.

People who attend her intensives are desperate - their children, adopted or not, are often so far out of control that if they cannot be helped they will be institutionalized. I have witnessed in two consecutive intensives, miracles of healing using this technique. Understanding the brain chemistry which is triggered makes the process comprehensible and deepens wonder at Nature's compassion for our egregrious parenting errors.

It seems there exists an energetic web to save us when we fail to connect with each other, lying just behind the facade of our adaptive personality traits and coping mechanisms. That energetic mesh is unconditional love, the activity of connection, the stimulus to unlimited intelligent evolution.

Holding Therapy places the mother on top of the child on a soft mattress, belly-to-belly, nose to nose,eyes gazing into eyes, breath circling from one body to the other. It's intimate, it's "in your face." What this position simulates, the feeling it engenders in both mother and child, is that experience after birth when the infant is held tightly and securely by the mother, protected and enclosed, indeed defined by the mother's touch. This feeling releases brain chemicals which induce bonding. Far from being "abuse," this tight holding simulates the symbiotic, synchronous condition of the newborn child and mother. The mother licks the child's face lovingly, and this action directly releases oxytocin in the brains of both mother and child. Once oxytocin is released, a whole new biochemical environment is created and a new set of behavioral responses to life conditions is permanently instituted within each organism. Thus mother and child both will never act the same as they did before this bonding peptide was released.

The therapy needs only to be repeated by the mother and the child, cementing intimacy and one-on-one communion into their daily life. The results are immediate and awe-inspiring. Please keep an open mind -- read the book, and see the videos, and, if possible, do it yourself. The results are uniformly positive, regardless of the family history. Connection, once experienced, extends to all other relationships and fosters empathic behavior. Isn't this what we're trying to achieve? God bless Dr. Welch.

Rating:
Summary: God Bless Dr. Welch
Review: I would like to express a deep admiration for Dr. Welch and her 26+ years experience with her Holding Time therapy. It is not a fad therapy, but is based upon the findings of Nobel Prize-winning Ethologist Niko Tinbergen and attachment theory scientist John Bowlby. Tinbergen devoted the last ten years of his life to bring attention to Dr. Welch work. Welch Holding Time therapy applies the findings of these two scientists and other findings in neuroscience - mainly that behavior is conditioned, and that conditioned behavior can be changed. Dr. Welch has proven this through her treatment of reactive attachment disorder, ADD, ADHD, as well as a wide range of behavioral problems, including Autism. Dr. Welch is not only a practicing psychiatrist of long standing, she is a respected neuroscientist doing research at Columbia University in New York City with some of the world's foremost scientists. She is about to publish her findings on the brain chemistry that makes Holding Time work.

Readers should remember that families who attend Dr. Welch's intensive treatment sessions have children who exhibit extreme behavioral problems. The book, Holding Time, was written by Dr. Welch to help the average family experiencing behavioral problems. People who attend her intensives are desparate - their children, adopted or not, are often so far out of control that if they cannot be helped they will be institutionalized. I have witnessed two consecutive intensive treatment sessions in which the principals of Holding Time have been employed. I found them to be miracles of healing to the 15 families that participated. All of the families that I witnessed left with dramatically changed children and new Holding Time parenting tools with which they could manage their child's behavior at home.

Please keep an open mind. Buy the book and read it. See the videos and CD's available... To those critics of Holding Time, consider the source. Above all, try Holding Time with your child. The results are uniformly positive, regardless of family history. Connection, once experienced, extends to all other relationships and fosters empathic behavior. Isn't this what we're trying to achieve? God bless Dr. Welch.

Rating:
Summary: Don't just try Holding Time -- read the book first!
Review: If you have ever considered using Holding Time, I recommend you read this book first. When our social worker suggested we use the technique with our daughter, I didn't understand how holding her while she tried to hurt me and get away from me would work. I thought, "How is making her even more mad going to help things get better?" As counterintuitive as it sounds, it worked and is working beautifully for us. It is helping our daughter securely attach with us and become a more relaxed and content toddler. Reading the entire book and understanding Welch's theory helped me be more confident about the technique and, in turn, use it more effectively. Be sure and read the Q & A section at the end of the book - it counters many myths and misperceptions about Holding Time.

There are a few reasons I give it four stars instead of five. Firstly, I disagree with Welch's model of gender roles and think that she puts undue burden on the mother to foster and maintain attachment. Secondly, the book lacks citations that would be helpful for parents wanting to read further and dig a little deeper. Welch mentions numerous studies, but nowhere does she give references for them. Thirdly, at times she portrays Holding Time as a "silver bullet" that will solve any parenting challenge you face. Holding Time is a powerful and effective technique, but it must be used with other mindful parenting skills that foster open communication and acceptance.

After reading this book, the Holding Time technique makes so much sense, and now that I've seen the positive results with my own daughter, I'm a believer.


Rating:
Summary: For your own good ...
Review: In addition to its highly dubious history (first marketed as a "miracle cure" for the neurological disorder autism, now being sold as a "miracle cure" for attachment disorder), potential readers should be aware that there is no evidence that "holding therapy" is either safe or effective, while it has been condemned by many experts such as Beverly James (editor of the "Handbook for Treatment of Attachment-Trauma Problems in Children") as abusive and liable to traumatize the child further.

It is claimed by its proponents that "holding therapy" is a deeply loving experience for both parent and child. Welch also cheerfully mentions that children will physically struggle, promise to be good if the parent stops, beg to be released, spit, scream, swear, bit, and weep. Many of the now-adult people who experienced "holding therapy" as children have said that they still view it as abusive. Who do you believe - the parent and the therapist, or the child?

Indeed, the level of physical violence involved may be extreme: one parent, Donald Lee Tibbets was convicted of third-degree felony child-abuse homicide after he killed his 3-year-old adoptive daughter by using his entire body-weight to hold her down during "holding therapy". The state medical examiner found that the child died of suffocation, with evidence of "blunt-force" bruising to her abdomen. Tibbets said he used holding therapy "as I had been taught therapy at the Family and Attachment Center."

In another case, a small child was removed from his adoptive mother after the results of "holding therapy" - marks and bruises on his arms and body - caused the staff at his kindergarten to worry that he was being abused.

A child identified as S.M.A. was removed from the custody of her the custody of her father and stepmother, the Abbotts, after the court ruled that "although holding therapy may be accepted by some medical professionals, the Abbotts' implementation of holding therapy became abusive and endangered S.M.A.'s physical and emotional health and impaired her emotional development."

Obviously, the cases which get to the courts aren't typical; but I wonder about the vast amounts of emotional and psychological damage which are wreaked in the cases which don't get to the courts. It frightens me that this book is sold without parents being informed of the potential damage it can do.