When Parents Die: A Guide for Adults

Rating:
Summary: An emotional life-saver for adults who lose a parent!
Review: I first came across this book nearly 10 years ago when my 70-year-old father passed away. He had been ill for some time so his passing was expected, and in some ways seemed to be such a relief. No one who loved him wanted to see him suffer any longer and his suffering certainly took its toll on my dear sweet mother; yet, in the weeks following his passing I found myself completely unprepared to experience the grief that followed. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown until I read Myers book. The book literally rescued me from the depths of grief and helped me to move forward with my life. Since then, I have bought perhaps a dozen copies of the book for friends who have lost their parents and they, too, have told me how helpful they have found the book to be. Last October my dear sweet mother passed away and reading the book again has spared me from the agony of grief that I experienced with the loss of my father. By understanding and being so much more prepared for the loss of my mother, I found myself much more able to cherish her life rather than be emotionally devistated by grieving her loss. Sadly, I am purchasing another copy of the book to give to a dear friend who lost her father two days ago.

Rating:
Summary: The Best Book on Bereavement Yet!
Review: I lost my mother over a year ago, and it really wasn't until a few months ago that I finally realized that I needed to find some help for myself to realize what I was going through was natural for me. Over the past two months I have purchased at least a half a dozen books on the subject of bereavement and this book by far was able to pinpoint my feelings and emotions to a tee. From the guilt that I was feeling over things that were said before she died, to the grief that I am feeling now. This was the first book that I truly felt like I found some of my answers lying in the pages. I didn't walk away from this book feeling worse than when I started, it was actually a healing presence for me, knowing that what I was feeling was natural and that life does goes on but in a totally different light. This book may not be for everyone, but for me it was my saving grace!

Rating:
Summary: helpful and realistic
Review: I read this book when my father died. I was 21 and couldn't relate to most of the books out there, since they seemed to be geared either toward children or toward middle-aged people who'd lost an elderly parent. I was very grateful that this book addressed adult readers of all different ages, including mine. Myers recognizes the different things people are likely going through at different points in their lives. It was comforting to me just to realize that grieving was a normal, natural process and that, even though I felt at an awkward age to be experiencing this type of loss, I wasn't alone.

Rating:
Summary: Clea Simon, author "Fatherless Women"
Review: I read this important work while researching my own "Fatherless Women: How We Change After We Lose Our Dads" (Wiley) and found it validating and encouraging of both my emotions and the primary research I'd done, interviewing other women like myself. In a readable, jargon-free style, Myers talks honestly about the broad spectrum of emotions that follow the death of a parent, from despair to guilt, anger to relief. Very honest, very freeing -- and now a staple of my library.

Rating:
Summary: helpful and realistic
Review: I read this important work while researching my own "Fatherless Women: How We Change After We Lose Our Dads" (Wiley) and found it validating and encouraging of both my emotions and the primary research I'd done, interviewing other women like myself. In a readable, jargon-free style, Myers talks honestly about the broad spectrum of emotions that follow the death of a parent, from despair to guilt, anger to relief. Very honest, very freeing -- and now a staple of my library.

Rating:
Summary: Clea Simon, author "Fatherless Women"
Review: I read this important work while researching my own "Fatherless Women: How We Change After We Lose Our Dads" (Wiley) and found it validating and encouraging of both my emotions and the primary research I'd done, interviewing other women like myself. In a readable, jargon-free style, Myers talks honestly about the broad spectrum of emotions that follow the death of a parent, from despair to guilt, anger to relief. Very honest, very freeing -- and now a staple of my library.

Rating:
Summary: Helpful Focus on Emotions
Review: When my mom began to need a lot of help and was no longer looking safe in her independent life, the first books I ran into were about medicare law and Alzheimer's descriptions. During a time that was most remarkable for the insurmountable feeling of confusion I and my siblings were suffering, these books seemed to have the wrong focus.

This book, though my mom is still alive, though very ill, has been more the kind of book I would have liked to have seen a year ago. I don't think I even realized at the time that the hardest part for me was the flood of emotions. The narrative of emotional responses to this passage in life is helpful, broad, and to the point. There are also chapters about the more logistical concerns which I think encapsulate very nicely the prosaic information available in the more common "how to manuals" that are the bulk of the literature available on aging parents. It reassured me that the things we're covering are quite complete. There was also a "to do" list for funeral arrangements that looked very helpful.

I wish there were more books about this aspect of family relationships from the emotional and psychological angle.

Rating:
Summary: Helpful Focus on Emotions
Review: When my mom began to need a lot of help and was no longer looking safe in her independent life, the first books I ran into were about medicare law and Alzheimer's descriptions. During a time that was most remarkable for the insurmountable feeling of confusion I and my siblings were suffering, these books seemed to have the wrong focus.

This book, though my mom is still alive, though very ill, has been more the kind of book I would have liked to have seen a year ago. I don't think I even realized at the time that the hardest part for me was the flood of emotions. The narrative of emotional responses to this passage in life is helpful, broad, and to the point. There are also chapters about the more logistical concerns which I think encapsulate very nicely the prosaic information available in the more common "how to manuals" that are the bulk of the literature available on aging parents. It reassured me that the things we're covering are quite complete. There was also a "to do" list for funeral arrangements that looked very helpful.

I wish there were more books about this aspect of family relationships from the emotional and psychological angle.