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Summary: Smart Love Makes You An Authority not an Authoritarian!
Review: Until I read Smart Love, I firmly believed that disciplining children (time-outs, consequences, even an occasional swat on the bottom)was necessary for them to be polite and well-behaved. Yet I also noticed that much of my parenting effort was spent giving orders and making my children toe a narrow line. I was sad when I saw my children copying my authoritarian stance with their pets, their dolls, and, even, their friends. With the benefit of Smart Love, I realize that many of the behaviors I was trying to stamp out (my toddler's grabbing, my baby's difficulty sleeping throught the night) are normal and will be outgrown without my intervention. I also see for the first time that there is an alternative to discipline that is not permissiveness. The Smart Love guidelines have shown me that it is possible to step in and regulate my children's behavior when necessary without adding the unhappiness of discipline. For example, when my two-year-old reached for the stove, I used to slap his hand and say "NO". Now with the Smart Love approach, I tell him, "That's hot. Let's get your play stove". He is happy to accept the substitute, and our afternoons are not punctuated with tears and conflict. I can see that he is happier and more agreeable. Smart Love is much more effective than discpline and it doesn't teach your child that might makes right -- a dangerous lesson.
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Summary: If you have a difficult child, this is the book for you.
Review: If, like me, you have a difficult and unhappy child, you will find this book both a lifesaver and a breath of fresh air. The advice I was given was to come down hard on my troubled middle school child with restrictions and sanctions. When that didn't work I was told to put him on medication, which made him dopey, but not more motivated to be a good student and an altruistic person. Smart Love has helped me to understand why my child has developed needs to make himself and others unhappy, and has given me practical ways to help him that make him happier and more functional rather than more miserable and depressed. I can already see a difference in him and, equally important, our relationship is vastly more close and loving. Parents, take heart -- there is a better way!
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Summary: Smart Love takes the worry out of parenting.
Review: I would have given anything to have had this book when my children were small. For years I didn't know whether to follow advice to let my children cry or pick them up, whether to feed them on schedule or demand, whether to buy them a toy or make them earn it. Smart love makes clear what children really need at every age and how to meet those needs. It is the first parenting book I ever read that makes sense to my head and yet connects with my heartfelt wish to have a positive relationship with my children that doesn't turn me into a drill seargant. Smart Love has taught me that I can satisfy my wishes to love and enjoy my children without hurting them and, in fact, that this is the best way to help them become resilient, caring adults.
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Summary: A bible for all parents - the first truly helpful guide.
Review: Until now parents have been bombarded by conflicting advice. Smart love is the very first parenting book to give parents a way to avoid the shoals of harsh discpline and unacceptable permissivenss. All parents will find this an indispensable guide to understanding their child at every age and, most important, to translating that understanding into practical responses that will keep their children safe and healthy while making it possible for them to grow into happy, fulfilled citizens. If you care about raising children to take their place in a democratic society, this is the book for you.
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Summary: "Smart Love" is already working for our family!
Review: We bought "Smart Love" after Ann Landers recommended it in her column last week. What a fabulous and helpful book! We've begun to try the Pieper's "Smart Love" approach with our two teenage children. We already have had some extraordinarily companionable and enjoyable times together without the tension and conflict that we had previously believed to be unavoidable. This powerful, positive approach to kids is working for our family. Every parent should read this book!
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Summary: Extraordinary Insight and Wisdom
Review: The Pieper's book is a milestone development in the evolution of compassionate child rearing and development. The Pieper's guidance and insight offers a profound and truly caring view of parenting, child care and maturation. It is that rare book that offers the reader the ability to truly change and understand their and their children's lives. As a clinical psychologist, program director and professor with over 25 years of clinical experience I have never read a more profoundly insightful and yet easily readable book. This book should be required reading for any parent, child care worker, teacher, therapist and would be parent.
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Summary: This is the first book on parenting that gets it right!
Review: The Piepers confirm my deepest instincts about what's right in caring for children. After reading this book, you not only know how to deal with typical (and not so typical) problems and dilemmas, you also have a real understanding of what is happening within your child. The Piepers explain the "whys" of your child's behavior and how that changes over time. You realize that there can be a middle ground that is neither permissive nor disciplinarian -- where you can regulate your child according to your principles without adding the negativity of discipline. This book makes you feel good about being a parent -- and even better about your children.
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Summary: Revolutionary: A must read for parents and grandparents
Review: This is it! This is the instruction manual I was looking for when I had my first baby. I wish I had had it sooner. Anyone can learn to change a diaper and give a bath. This book tells me what things feel like to my child and how I can make her a happy and successful person. It's about giving her a strong mind and a solid sense of herself. I am back to buy a second copy to lend to friends because I don't want to let my copy out of my hands. Most books on parenting are aimed at helping the parents feel better. This book explains how the child feels and how to respond so that the child gets what she needs. It's great!
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Summary: The best parenting book I have ever read!!!
Review: I could not put this book down! For once I have read a parenting book that makes sense. I have started using the Piepers' advice and I am already seeing a difference in my 6 month old son. He has had a very difficult time sleeping through the night and we tried the Ferber approach on down the line and nothing has worked -- in fact things just got worse. We were at the end of our ropes and we tried the Piepers' approach going into him each time he gets up and letting him know we are there. The first few nights we didn't get alot of sleep, but, he is finally sleeping through the night. If you want your kid to be happy, I would definitely buy this book.
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Summary: Teachers -- this is the book for you
Review: While this book directly addresses parents and offers them invaluable advice, my experience of it is as a teacher. It confirms and explains what many years of teaching has taught me... that the most effective way to help children grow and thrive is to simply put their needs first. And while this may sound demanding and time consuming -- paradoxically, it's the most practical and efficient approach. This point is clearly illustrated in the Piepers' story about the single father of two small children. After a trying day at work, he picks up the children and they go home only to find their beloved parakeet dead ...and the toilet stopped-up. While the children area hysterical about the bird, the dad's first instinct is to fix the toilet. This only makes the children more upset -- and his job all the harder. When he realizes that the toilet can wait but the children can't -- soon all problems are resolved. When children are cared for and their needs met, then all goes well -- for them and for you. The Piepers' make this point vividly clear and wonderfully appealing. My teacher's heart and mind are entirely gratified by this book.
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