Smart Love

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Summary: Not what I expected . . .
Review: I expected psycho-babble from a PhD and an MD - but was delightfully surprised with a down-to-earth, realistic book. I agree with the authors basic premise that we need to be positive, loving parents to raise great kids. The authors do an outstanding job in the area of infants, babies and preschoolers, HOWEVER, I think they fall short for older children. The ideas are waayyy to permissive for me! Page 184 - if your child doesn't like a certain chore - don't make him do it; if he has an 'off' day let him skip his chores. Page 185 - If your 7-yr-old son fusses over taking a bath - let him bathe only conce a week. (that'd be one seriously dirty kid!) Pg 199 - if your child is a bad sport, stop the game and play something else with him. These ideas seem to put 'immediate gratification' over life-long discipline - which I think is a big mistake. If you agree with the author's basic ideas but want a better guide to positive discipline try these books: Kid Cooperation, Perfect Parenting, Positive Discipline.

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Summary: Challenges you to be a better parent and person!
Review: It is easy and sadly feels more natural for most of us to react to our children by yelling, telling, disciplining, shaming. Smart Love really instilled in me to be more conscious of my reactions and to take time outs (for myself!) and think about my daughters needs, wants, and normal actions for her age. Smart Love is all about empathy and understanding that little person you love so much. Bravo for Smart Love. Highly recommended.

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Summary: The Perfect Holiday Gift
Review: I am the mother of three and I can tell you from experience that this is the most helpful parenting book I have ever read! I am giving it to everyone I know who has children of any age. This is the only book that really lets you know what your children are thinking and feeling and what it is fair to expect of them at every age. Smart Love also gives you loads of concrete, practical helpful suggestions to make you a better parent. Put it on your gift list -- your family and friends will really thank you this year!

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Summary: This is the book that should be delivered along with babies!
Review: My husband asked my doctor when the parenting instruction manual would be delivered after our first baby was born...well, we finally found it-3 years later! I cannot say enough positive things about this book! I am looking forward to the next book by the same authors! The concept of loving regulation has been golden in our family. For anyone who is looking for a Parenting Bible, this is it! Smart Love Parenting Groups led by certified leaders (trained by the Piepers themselves!) are a wonderful outcome of the book! I can't get enough of Smart Love!

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Summary: Smart Love is the Perfect Gift for Father's Day!!!!!
Review: If you want to open a Dad's eyes to a whole new world of parenting, give him Smart Love. I am the father of four, and am amazed at how much more enjoyment I am getting from my children after I read Smart Love. For the first time, I do not feel I have to worry every moment about whether my kids are respectful and behaving because I understand their stages much better and realize that I was expecting them to be too adult too soon. Now that I have relaxed, they are happier and more relaxed too, and they are actually better behaved than when I was on their case all the time. This is the way parenting ought to be!

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Summary: Fantastic. Also consider Punished By Rewards by Kohn
Review: Smart Love is a book which immediately helped me improve my relationship with my 18-year-old. One of the best parenting books on the market. If you wish to review further evidence and proof of this approach to child-rearing, I highly recommend another book: Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn. Kohn's book is more theoretical (i.e. less directly practical). Neither book mentions the other, so I don't know if the authors are aware of each other, but (in my mind) they are very much in agreement. Both are extraordinary books, and support the idea that real change cannot be externally imposed. And they both are positive, and based on a strong belief in basic human nature. I highly recommend both books!

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Summary: I only wish I had this book 7 years ago when my son was born
Review: But I'm happy to have it now and recommend it to every parent -- especially new parents. I loved reading about typical toddler behaviors -- and remembering what it was like and how often I was so unsure of what to do. This book gives you concrete examples of what to do to care for your child at each stage of development. It's terrific.

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Summary: Smart Love is a Smart Book!
Review: Smart Love is the thinking parent's parenting book. In the three years since my son was born, I have bought practically every parenting book out there. Smart Love has a really different message for parents that is much more positive and optimistic but is also based on the child's developmental stage and special point of view. I feel I can trust this advice because it is scientifically based. Not only that, but as I have been trying some of the Piepers' guidelines with my son, I find that I can manage him in a much more positive way and our day runs so much more smoothly. This is a truly great book!

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Summary: Great for teachers and day-care providers too!
Review: As an inner-city public school teacher, I have found Smart Love to be infinitely helpful in my day to day interactions with students! Smart Love provides a new framework for understanding kids which is solid and comfortable, as well as effective. I can finally stop piecing together classroom management strategies from many theories and authors, the Pieper's perspective is comprehensive. Also, I'm so glad this will be around when I'm ready to have children of my own!!! In the meantime, I would highly recommend this book for all people who come into contact with children; as parents, teachers or care-providers. Enjoy it!

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Summary: If this is permission discipline, I dont know what is!
Review: After reading through the first couple chapters, I was extremely disappointed in the discipline style suggested. I think most readers can agree that as a child grows, we can expect them to act certain ways and it is our job to GUIDE them through these stages. But to continue this same style of guiding once they have passed certain stages and the negative behavior continues I believe does not show that there are consequences to actions and does not allow the child to take responsibility for his actions. The book states that discipline problems are brought on by "inner unhappiness" and tho it says the parent is not to be blamed for this, it clearly blames them. It made me feel as if I were to have a stronger discipline tactic, it would only intensify the "inner-unhappines" my child is experiencing. The book also believes a child is not born with a personality, but that it is developed from experiences while anyone who has two children can tell you, they are absolutely born with unique personalities. I do not spank my daughter and probably the worst punishment she receives is time out and I do not believe she will grow up with inner-happiness b/c of this nor do I believe this type of discipline intensifies this feeling. Most of this book was commonsense, but I certainly didnt like being left with this feeling of blame.