Rating: 
Summary: Its their theory...not mine
Review: One of the big theories of this book is that children should seek others out when they are unhappy... and that you should do everything you can to make them happy (take a look at the suggestion that if they don't like baths, let them bathe just once a week, or avoid chores they don't like.) To me this is a recipe for disaster. In life people often have to do things they don't like. How will a person have the discipline to get through grueling college classes, or the early years of a demanding career without learning that sometimes you don't get to be thrilled about what you are doing. Learning that they should never have any negative feelings is not, in my opinion very healthy. The authors are also against time-outs. The authors contend that when a child is unnappy he should seek others out to help him feel better. They assume everyone would agree with this. Not me. The people I know who don't have the inner resources to get over disappointments by themselves are not at all happy. They are the ones always seeking a significant other with a sad desperation. They do not realize that another person can never make you happy...only you can do that. My husband and I agree that teaching our children to get over disappointments on their own was one of the most valuable lessons we ever tought them. They are happy today because minor problems don't throw them for a loop. For my personal philosopgy, the books by Anthony Wofe (who by the way does not believe in punishment) are much much better at helping to raise happy and healthy kids.
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Summary: A Very Graceful 10 Stars to the Pied "Piepers"
Review: The first book I've read about children and parenting that did not make me feel like I was reading it too late. I'm not usually one to coin a phrase like equating the Piepers to The Pied Piper, but listen to what these people are trying to say folks. I'm grateful that the publisher had the instinct to publish this very thought provoking book. To those who write that they repeat the concept too many times...look around you... at the world around you...then maybe read the concept a few more times. Maybe try and see the world and particularly your child's world through their eyes. And then read the concept a few more times. I'm thinking about making a big poster of it and hanging it on my wall. Thank you Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper for the years of effort you have put forth to try and understand what we're all about.
Rating:
Summary: This book deserves a rating higher than 5
Review: If there was a rating higher than 5 I would have given it to this book. I wish I had read it before having my son. I spent about 3-4 years using tough love and time outs. They worked for the short term but what I didn't realize was how those techniques were chipping away at his self worth. I became aware of that after reading this book. He was showing signs like sending himself to his room for a time out and hitting himself in the head when he got angry. Despite what you may be thinking we never hit him. I committed myself to that before he was born because I know that doesn't work-- It didn't work for me as a kid. The point is he was beginning to inflict pain on himself, that was scary for us. When I read this book I related to it not only as a parent but also as a child. I myself suffer from inner unhappiness. I am very much looking forward to the Pieper's next book which, from what I've learned, will address that issue. Although I find it difficult to implement the "Smart Love" technique, because I am a parent who suffers from inner-unhappiness, I am committed to perseverance and not perfection. I have seen plenty of evidence this works! My husband has an abundance of inner happiness so this style of parenting comes very easily to him. He doesn't get caught up in his own anger and is able to implement the suggestions. It's a beautiful thing! If you suffer from inner-unhappiness it won't be easy but it will be worth it-- for you and your child. If you have inner happiness read it anyway. My husband found the guidelines helpful. One last comment, if we want to win the war on drugs and alcohol or any other addictive activity, implementing the concept in this book is where we need to start.
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Summary: Helps you focus long term
Review: This book has really helped me stop and get into my child's mind and be concerned about his long term happiness not whether he is embarrassing me at the moment or making me late. Although time out seems to be universally accepted as a discipline tool I felt like it was abandoning my toddler when he was already distressed. This book validated that feeling and many others. The basic idea of the book (which is repeated often) is that children see their parents as perfect during the first few years and so if your discipine methods involve some form of punishment to make them unhappy - yell, time out, spank etc. they will think that is the right way to feel and will seek unhappiness later in life. This doesn't mean that you cannot correct behaviours and they demonstrate how to do so in a more loving, cooperative manner. This book has helped me be more patient and understanding when I keep in mind my child's point of view and my goals for his long term happiness and self esteem. I have read many parenting books and this one is my favorite!! I think the world would be a happier and more peaceful place if we all took Smart Love to heart.
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Summary: A Must Read for All Parents!
Review: Wonderful welcomed relief, good bye time outs, good bye punishments, good bye bargaining - hello happy kids and parents. If you are a parent looking for a smart way to guide your children towards a truly happy and rewarding future , then start by reading this great book. I would like to send one to every parent I know. Thanks to the Pieper's for a heart warming book and guide.
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Summary: Finally there is a manual!
Review: Does your day consist of saying no all day and feeling angry at what your child has done? Have you ever wished that life was more fun with your child? Did you ever want a day where your husband walked in from work, you could smile and feel calm inside; instead of feeling like handing him the child running away to escape? I have started applying their ideas from Smart Love and already my 3 year old daughter is a happier child and I am a LOT less stressed out by the end of the day. Don't figure that it is too late to try these. Better late than never. This is the manual that we all wish the children came with! May you and your children find your inner happiness.
Rating: 
Summary: If your are a parent, read this book
Review: If you are a parent, you should read this book. It has very concrete suggestions on how to parent and along with some very clear rationale. It is not science, but it does offer wisdom. Much of the book (including the title) made me cringe. I have to admit my ideologies are much different from the Piepers (about as different as Archie Bunker and Meathead), but their approach is hard to argue with and easy to verify through the example in their book and my own experiences. One of the key tenants, especially disturbing to me, is that there is no substitute for spending quantities of time with your children. Having the courage to say this today makes the authors outright heroes in my estimation. Ever since the dawn of the Industrial revolution, our culture has rationalized changes that diminished time families spend together. Most advancements in transportation and communication technologies seem to have enabled/caused people to spend less time with loved ones instead of more. The implications of this book are very broad. It seems that chronic over consumption, while it is great for the economy, may be hurting our children. Many of the trends in the workplace - longer commutes, home offices, two career families, and expensive benefits that make fewer employees working lots of overtime economically more attractive than more employees working 40 hours a week - all of these could end up costing our children a great deal. If you are thinking of starting a family, if you are thinking of having more children, if you have children and a career - you should read this book.
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Summary: Truly unrealistic
Review: I read this book trying to find some help in dealing with my willful three-year-old twins. At first, I found the book interesting with good examples and sensible theory. Although the prose is surprisingly verbose and some sentences unnecessarily complicated, I was engaged and finding a few helpful suggestions. However, the tone of the book makes even the most dedicated parent question their dedication. It almost made me wonder if the authors are parents themselves, they don't seem very sympathetic. The chapter on toddler behavior is downright silly: it states that toddler tantrums are inevitably caused by parents who are not paying enough attention to their childrens' needs. It then goes on to proclaim that it is possible to raise a child without their EVER throwing a tantrum. I guess that means stopping in the middle of the freeway to fetch the toy that the kid threw on the floor of the car! I am dissapointed by this book which was so highly recommended by editorial reviews. I would have preffered to read a summary of the helpful suggestions, rather than spend the little free time parents have reading such nonsense.
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Summary: FASCINATING WINDOW INTO YOUR CHILD'S MIND
Review: I absolutely loved this book because it not only told me how to parent but WHY to parent the Smart Love way. By describing in clear but vivid terms how my baby's mind and emotions will change and grow, the Piepers explain why it is always better to respond with kindness and why traditional approaches to discpline are so harmful. AFter reading Smart Love, I have changed my whole outlook on parenting and I know my baby will be the better for it and I am already a happier, more confident parent. Take a look -- it will open your eyes too.
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Summary: Nice accompaniment for those practicing attachment parenting
Review: Finally! As a parent who has done quite a bit of reading on attachment parenting, I was thrilled to see a book written for different age levels of children. Often books are written at the younger child's developmental level (e.g., infant or toddler-preschooler), now there's a book that meets my needs as a parent of three children! The case studies and examples were particularly helpful and applicable to my personal situations. I feel like I'm on the way to re-attaching with my 6 year old because I know what appropriate behavioral expectations can be. I learned that I've been expecting way too much from him, and assumed his "forgetfulness" was due to not wanting to complete chores. I thought working "with" my child was only "good" until he was 3 years old. How I've learned!
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