Rating: 
Summary: The truth about adoption and the loss of mommy
Review: "Adoption Healing -- a path to recovery" is a book that deals with truth -- not the way people would prefer to see it, but exactly the way it is. Not only does it validate those feelings of doubt, fear,anxiety and loss that so many adoptees and birth mothers feel, but it gives you ways and exercises to help you deal with those feelings. I strongly suggest that everyone read it. It will help you to understand yourself, your sister or brother, your child, your partner or spouse.
Rating:
Summary: Adoptees are lovable and they can begin to feel that way!
Review: "Adoption Healing...a Path to Recovery" describes the trauma and psychological milestones encountered by every adoptee who was relinquished by birthparents and then adopted into a second family unit. The descriptions validate the feelings of adoptees, helping them to understand that they are not overly reacting to the circumstances surrounding their adoption. Adoptees' feelings and attitudes are not out-of-proportion to the trauma occurring in their lives."Fracturing" is the term used to describe the point in time where the adoptee realizes he or she has been cast into a universal black hole, between families, and never having a relationship in which one's authentic (the birth or core self) self is validated. Symptoms of fracturing are rage, anxiety, frustration, confusion, regret, feat, and so forth. Soll guides his readers through their feelings, helping them to be aware of their emotions. He talks about channeling the anger into appropriate avenues and learning how to relax with visualization techniques. All adults are a consoliation of every day we have ever existed. There is a one-year-old, a seven-year-old and a 17-year-old inside each of us. This book helps us to get in touch with the parts of ourselves that were hurting at whatever the age. Called "inner child work," these techniques allow us to validate ourselves, affirming for every age that we were lovable and authentic human beings. The title of this book, "Adoption Healing...a Path to Recovery" has not been mis-named. It is a breakthrough for adoptees and anyone in the triad or helping professions who want to understand the core issues that drive all adoptees.
Rating:
Summary: Adoption Healing
Review: (...) Little did I know when I started to read Joe Soll's book "Adoption Healing" that the gunk of pain and anger lying on my heart from my daughter's rejection of me was about to lift off and evaporate. It was probably a combination of where I am in my healing as a birthmother, the accumulation of all of the adoption related books I've read, and Joe's clear and concise writing style with insight into the inner life of the young adoptee. As an adoptee, therapist and activist Joe has lots of material to draw on for his guidance on healing for adoptees. "Adoption Healing" focuses on a critical turning point in an adoptee’s development, ages six to eight, when the child becomes cognitive and is able to start thinking logically and comes to understand what adoption means. At this point, the child may "blame herself for being given up for adoption and if there is no intervention, a fracturing of the personally will ensue. Before the fracture the child will be able to talk openly about her rage, pain, sadness and fear as these feelings are accessible at this age. After the fracture point, these feelings will be experienced as occurring at the same time. This will cause the feelings to become interwoven with each other, as if intertwined in an entangled ball." What happens next for the adoptee depends on the attitude of the adults in the youngster's life. Ideally the adoptive parents will allow the adoptee to express her feelings. When the adoptive family atmosphere supports the adoptee's need to sort out these feelings, she will be able to integrate her emotions into her day-to-day reality. If the adoptee senses that it is not OK, her turmoil becomes suppressed into a knot of painful conflicting feelings where anger and unfulfilled curiosity is wrapped in the knowledge of not being loved by her original mother. For some adoptees reading about these issues will make them feel uncomfortable. They may not have dealt with or consciously thought about these issues before. Each chapter includes a summary, an exercise to help work through these long-held feelings and a guide to "experience the moment." "Adoption Healing" also offers "myths" and "realities" for different situations in the adoptee's experience. Such as: Myths:
- Adopted adolescents are no different than their non-adopted peers.
- If the adoptee has problems, it is either non-adoption related or genetic.
- An adopted person, if they must have a reunion, should wait until they are an adult. Facts:
- Adopted adolescents have their own special set of needs that must be respected.
- Adolescence is the time of identity solidification and for the adoptee is often very painful and confusing.
- A reunion should preferably take place before puberty. "Adoption Healing" also speaks to adoptive parents about healthy adoptions and to birthparents in both closed and open adoptions. The young adoptee will experience this formative stage in both situations. The Appendix includes sections for What Adoptees, Birthparents and Adoptive Parents Do Not Wish To Hear, Loss in the Adoption Hand-off by Darlene Gerow, From the News and Resources. The Epilogue gives a brief summary of Joe's journey from denial and resistance to even saying the word adopted, to feeling his feelings and healing, and his as yet unsuccessful search for his birth family. As a birthmother this book gave me insight into the adoptee experience I could only guess at. About halfway through the book I started to get an image of what my daughter must have gone through at that age. My hurt at her refusal to have contact with me gradually transformed into an understanding that it never really had anything to do with me personally. These are issues she needs to deal with and as her original mother it is compassion and love that she needs from me, when she is ready. Thank you, Joe, for freeing me from this pain. And I hope it helps the healing process of people who are adopted.
Rating:
Summary: adoption healing
Review: A must reading for anyone in the triad that is in search of an honest adoption book and the steps needed to heal from the losses of adoption.I am a reunited Mom and I only wish I had read this book before reunion ,although it has been very helpful since. Joe brings with him the knowledge of living the life as an adoptee and his therapeutic expertise as a therapist working in the adoption field.I will not be reselling my copy because I still need to refer to it for valuble insight and comfort. Thank you Joe for your contribution toward the healing of all those that need "ADOPTION HEALING"
Rating:
Summary: The best adoption book I've read in a long time
Review: Adoption Healing ... A Path to Recovery presents plain facts that explain how and why adoptees develop psychologically into who they are today. Practical advice is given to help change the way the experience of losing their mothers affects them in their everyday lives. The author is clear, concise and shows great insight into the psyche of adopted people. This book is for everyone whose life has been personally touched by adoption as well as mental health professionals who want to be able to work with adoptees. A truly remarkable book!
Rating:
Summary: Excellent - reveiw from adoptee
Review: Adoption Healing got me in touch with hidden feelings that I didn't even know I had. I now understand myself in a new way, a way that will help me heal from the separation of my mother at birth. Soll's book is a wonderful follow-up to Nancy Verrier's Primal Wound. All those who have been touched by adoption should make this wonderful book a bible.
Rating:
Summary: Stellar explanation of the psychology of an adopted person
Review: Adoption Healing got me in touch with hidden feelings that I didn't even know I had. I now understand myself in a new way, a way that will help me heal from the separation of my mother at birth. Soll's book is a wonderful follow-up to Nancy Verrier's Primal Wound. All those who have been touched by adoption should make this wonderful book a bible.
Rating:
Summary: A veritable bible for healng
Review: Adoption Healing is the "Courage to Heal" of adoption. Soll has written an excellent guide to healing the loss of the sacred mother/child relationship thru adoption. No more need be said. If you lost your mother thru adoption, or are affected in some other way by the losses of adoption, this book is for you.
Rating:
Summary: The Truth Will Set You Free
Review: Adoption Healing will set those who read it free: Free from having their experience invalidated. Free from the shackles of societies view that in adoption, everyone wins. Free from the denial of the need to grieve one's losses. What Joe Soll has done is given all those involved in adoption the reality of the losses inherent in the separation of mother and child and how this plays out in every adoption situtation. As Anna Freud stated, "The horrors of war pale beside the loss of a mother" and clearly the horros of war pale beside the loss of a child. Adoption Healing presents the experience of the child from the womb through adulthood, eplaining the pain, anger and sadness inherent in adopted people, why it is repressed from consciousness, and how to finally deal with these emotions and roadblocks to happiness and finally be free to live rather than just exist. This book is valuable for any adopted person, birthparent, adoptive parent, mental health professional or anyone interested in the truth about the adoptee experience. Mental Health Professionals, Adoptees, Birthparents and Adoptive Parents have raved about this wonderful book for good reason.
It will set you free and I highly recommend it.
Rating:
Summary: Adoption Healing...a path to recovery
Review: Adoption Healing...a path to recovery, more than anything else gives HOPE to those of us who have traveled the adoption path, particularly adoptees and birthparents. Having been told in 1966 that by giving up my infant son to be adopted by people who could give him what I could not...a two parent home, a name, even legitimacy; I tried hard to believe when they told me I was doing the most loving thing a mother could do for her child in my circumstance. I was an 18 year old student with no husband in sight. I don't know if they really believed when they said I would get on with my life and I would forget this whole unfortunate experience and that I would go on to have plenty of other children. Joe Soll's book speaks to the fact that THEY were really, really WRONG! You never forget and you really can't even totally get on with your life on some levels. Giving a child up for adoption is a very deep trauma and tragedy for a woman, and many can't even survive it. It's a form of soul-rape. While Joe gives exercises, tools and rituals to adoptees to understand their experience and even begin to heal; he also validates and acknowledges the pain and deep sense of grieving and loss the birthmothers live with. And although I have read several women authors who have written very eloquently about birthmother pain; this is the first male author that I've read who has deep understanding, wisdom and empathy for US. My heart was in my throat during much of this book, but I also felt that Adoption Healing should be required reading for Adoptees and Birthmothers, AND those who love us. This is an excellent and very well written book.
| 
