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Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep (LA Leche League International Book)

Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep (LA Leche League International Book)

List Price: $14.00
Your Price: $10.50
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: be committed to being a parent
Review: I agree that Dr. Sears is repeating previous books too often and not going in depth enough on some subjects. However, regarding some other reviews....I am a progressive, non-Christian, apolitical working mom and I find Dr. Sears and his advice to be a huge boost to my confidence in my instincts as a parent. My husband and I sleep with our 8 month old son, and has it always been perfect? no. But parenting does not end at 8pm when the baby goes down, and if you think it should then you are no more than a part-time parent. Do I have aspirations outside of the home and aside from motherhood? Of course, but when I decided to have a baby those things became second-string for a while. And I am unselfish enough to accept that this is the biggest and most important thing in my life right now.

Back to the sleeping. At first he wiggled. Then he was waking up and grunting to poop at 3am EVERY day. Then he nursed 6 times a night. Now, it is 8 months later and he goes to sleep at 8pm, nurses twice a night and wakes up at 7am. Throughout it all we have NEVER woken to a cry, and every morning we are greeted with smiles from our boy who has never had to leave our side, and who found his own rhythym. We know that this means working hard to move him to a big boy bed when he is older, but I think that's a much more age-appropriate step than at birth. This culture emphasizes autonomy practically from birth, I agree with Dr. Sears and I plan on letting my son need me quite a bit longer than that.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Good Resource for tired parents
Review: Nighttime Parenting is the book that will help you really help your baby to sleep better, not "train" her. It is for parents who are willing to have patience with their babies, and not try to force them into rigid patterns before they are ready. I have an 11-month old baby who wakes up at night. I have read Ferber and Mindell and some of the others who advocate "sleep training." But I just couldn't let my baby cry herself to sleep, as they recommend. That's what it comes down to. Really helping your baby takes time, and effort. It's not easy, but did we really choose to become parents because we thought it would be easy? After using the suggestions in this book, my baby is now sleeping much much longer stretches than she was three months ago, and I am thrilled. I also don't mind getting up once or twice a night to comfort my precious daughter. This book is not for everyone. If you want your baby to sleep 11 hour stretches without bothering you, then you probably want the Ferber book. But, please reconsider, for your baby's sake.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Supportive of one parenting style ONLY
Review: This book is focused on breast feeding and co-sleeping. It starts out by advising parents to experiment to find the sleeping arrangement that works best for their family - an idea I agree with. However, it becomes increasingly narrow-mided and judgmental and refers to putting a baby in a crib as putting a baby in a lonely cage in the dark. It also suggests that if you were a GOOD mother, you wouldn't mind staying up all night with your baby. As you will see from the positive reviews, if you are already committed to the parenting style recommended by the book, you will find it supportive,but if you have a different style, it will seem critical and judgmental. It has little value for non-breastfeeding or non-co-sleeping parents or dads. As a pediatrician and a mom, I would hesitate to recommend this book to anyone other than a strict breast-feeding and co-sleeping stay-at-home mom, but for that person it would be great.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Nothing new here
Review: I have a large library of Sears books (The Baby Book, the
Birth Book, etc.) I practice co-sleeping and attachment
parenting. I bought this book because my 6 month old twins
were causing my family to be severely sleep deprived.
Unfortunately, if you are already familiar with the writing
of the Sears', you won't find anything particularly new
here. It isn't that I *disagree* wht the principles in the
book, just that I thought it should go further. The "same
old" advice in the other Sears' books wasn't working for
us -- our family was falling apart. I wanted an alternative
to Ferber (which I also bought). This book continued to
say what the Baby Book said: your kids will sleep well if
they sleep with you, nightime nursing is the simplest
way to keep your kid happy at night, etc. Maybe all this
works for singletons, but not twins. I'd love to find a
book that gives really *practical* advice that still supports
the Attachment Parenting philosophy I believe in!

(Here's an example of unhelpful advice: In response to a
question about "My kid is too squirmy and keeps me up",
Dr. Sears responds that this is a result of the kid having
started in a crib and later moving to co-sleeping, and
that if you give him time, he'll adjust. This was not
helpful to us, who co-slept from the start, and had
given the kids PLENTY of time, and they were still disrupting
our sleep.)

PS: The good news is that eventually, without any helpful
advice from any books, we managed to survive the sleep
situation, and at 2 years old, we have a much more livable
sleep situation while still practicing AP!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Alternative to "Crying it Out"
Review: This book is pro family bed and is mainly for the breastfeeding mother. Dr. Sears does not advocate "crying it out." If you are not breastfeeding, do not buy this book. Dr. Sears believes that babies do not have the same sleep cycle as adults; therefore, parents of babies who sleep through the night should consider it a luxury. I found this book to be helpful, only because a lactation consultant recommended co-sleeping. I refused to use the "crying out" method and this book makes me feel good about choosing the family bed. This arrangement has worked for the past 7 months. Regarding the other reviewers who say that co-sleeping is not practical for the working mother, this is not true for everyone. I know plenty of people who co-sleep and work full-time. They say this is their way of being close to their child while they are away from them during the day. He explains this in the book also. Dr. Sears comes across as very caring and loving. I trust a man who has reared 8 children! He also explains why babies wake during the night, how to eventually wean your toddler from your bed, and how to get your toddler to take naps, etc.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Think about it...
Review: Those that rate this book poorly, have issue with sleeping with thier children. Mostly due to the lack of knowledge they have for this type of parenting. Or some sad intolerance or selfishness-either trained or advised by others "It is astounding how thousands of generations of knowledge and expereince can be wiped out by one generation of ignorance." I heard this quote resently, and it definaelty applies to anti-cosleepers!
CO-sleeping is natural and comfortable, fuss free, and overall a wonderful expereince. My first son, we stopped too soon, guilted by public opinion, and guilt over this simple pleasure. I have since gotten reinforcement for my attachment parenting habits, and I embrace my co-sleeping, and know now from expereince that it is the way to go. My first son would have slept about anywhere, so little was lost, but my second son, welll, I am glad I embrace this method. We sleep soundly, and share an intamacy. I am better rested, because I rarely wake fully to care for my infant. We come togther naturally to breastfeed, and continue to co-exist naturally in sleep. There is a wonderfully fulfilling feeling of contentment, parenting this way. I watch others who "container" parent. They are generally fussier babies, and in the end, as the children get older, the conections are rarely the same. Sometimes the differnces are subtle. Most times not. The benefits are there. If you bother to be a parent, bother to do what is right and comfortable. Dr. Sears, you are a champ!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: LOVED this book!! Needed it sooner!!
Review: I think a lot of the negative reviews came from parents who are unwilling to change their daily schedules to include their new additions into their families. Making a family shouldn't be just about scheduling time to have sex, then setting aside time 9 months later to have a baby, and going back to work once you're feeling *up-to-it* So what if you're tired? I stay at home and i'm tired too! Why wouldn't you want to cosleep if you're away from your baby all day? If you're so sick of your child you don't want to be around it at all why'd you have children in the first place??

RE: cosleeping having negative results i'll give you one, my 2 yr old couldn't fall asleep without my husband or I laying down with him. We moved him into his own bed (w/o ANY problems, no crying to sleep, no fussing about being in his room) and he falls asleep now w/o issues, we found out he started having a hard time falling asleep while we were there, but if we weren't there he'd get up and play. Now that he has his own room it's ok if he's awake for a little while reading or such, he can't make a mess. Other than that my now almost 3 yr old does everything by himself, he plays well alone, and he plays well with other children. He doesn't cling, he doesn't have troubles sleeping by himself, and he's just as emotionally stable (if not more so) than his crib slept friends. What I taught him from birth was that his needs and feelings were just as important to me as mine.

I learned to schedule time for myself around his nap and bedtimes, and with help from my husband (or friend) I found joy in knowing my son was safe because I could always see him, hear him, and feel him. And my husband loved it because working outside the home it was the only true cuddle/solo time he got with our son.

We're using it again with our newborn and it's the ONLY thing that gets us both sleep at night. I'd recommend this to anyone.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not a good choice for parents looking to solve sleep problem
Review: My husband and I purchased this book in the hopes that it would give us ideas on how to get our daughter to go to sleep. After moving our 6 month old could not get settled in to a routine. Before we moved she slept in her own bed, so we were looking for alternative ways to get her to go to sleep again on her own. This book was a huge disappointment because it made me feel guilty for even trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. This is a very unrealistic approach to night time parenting.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Be a Babywhisperer instead
Review: I would never follow the advice of this book. It seems to me that it creates more sleep problems than anything. Children are perfectly capable of falling asleep alone if you begin them right. The advice of the Babywhisperer is right on and works to gently teach babies that they can fall asleep and stay asleep. Following the Babywhisperer's advice, my babies have slept 12 hours straight by 10 weeks of age. This is with NO crying. Also, naps are with NO crying. Wake up people!! This approach is sooo unrealistic and you are sure to NEVER have a good night of sleep again.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Get real! Babywise!!
Review: I read some of Sears books before my first was born, as well as other books. Since I didn't have kids yet, it was hard to decide on a parenting philosophy. After trying co-sleeping and demand feeding for a few weeks, I was convinced that I am not an advocate of Dr. Sears.

Reading these reviews 2 years later and another baby later, I am even more convinced. Even the 5 star reviews make me so glad I put this book on the shelf for good. I have never seen so many parents complaining about sleep problems. Isn't it obvious that co-sleeping may actually cause the sleep problems? My baby sleeping with me causes ME sleep problems, so why wouldn't it cause him/her the same?

And on to the scheduling no-no philosophy . . . How about giving your child a little structure? Schedules don't have to be set in stone. But my children don't have to cry to get fed. They are secure knowing that at certain times of the day they will be fed, and it's usually before they get to the point of crying. I provide food for them. They don't have to remind me!! I strongly believe that the structure of a loose schedule gives children security. They have some control over their lives because they know what's coming next.

A little more on scheduling . . . why do adults eat at the same time everyday and sleep at the same time every night? Because God created us to follow a cycle. Why are babies different? Feeding them erratically will cause constipation and screwed up sleep cycles.

Then what happens when the second child comes along? You can't hop into bed with your baby for 2 or 3 daytime naps when you have a 2-year old running around. And worse, what happens when your youngest child turns 5 or 10 or 12 and finally decides to move to her own bed? The parents look at each other and say, "Hi, I haven't seen you for years. I've been concentrating my every thought and spending my every second carrying and responding to my childrens' every whimper. I haven't done anything for you or spent any time alone with you for 15 years. We've made love so few times I barely remember how. And I don't even remember who you are." What a shame that the children you created together could form a wall between you.

Lastly, what if your child is crying because she is tired? If you respond to that cry by picking her up and rocking her endlessly or feeding her, are you really meeting your child's needs?

I do believe that the cry-it-out approach is not inhumane. I think it works, BUT only if your child has all his needs fulfilled first, including love. I snuggle with my babies and play with them when they are awake. I rock them and if they fall asleep, great. If not, then I lay them down and they fall asleep on their own, without crying most of the time. The reason is that they follow a loose schedule, so they are hungry and tired at the same times everyday.

I recommend the BabyWise series. It teaches you how to get your children to develop good sleep habits in a natural way that includes a schedule. With this approach, you can let them cry it our, or not. I read it when my first child was 3 months old. He was sleeping 8 hours at night 2 weeks later, no crying necessary. I used it from the start with my second and she began sleeping 6-8 hours at night at 7 weeks, again, no crying necessary.


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