When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us : Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives

Rating:
Summary: Excellent beginning step
Review: This is a book for all parents, but especially for those needing the courage to see they aren't alone in their struggles. I first picked up this book after listening to my parents argue yet again over my thirty-something brother's latest problem -- ending up in the hospital after taking cocaine with prescription pain relievers with a woman other than his wife -- and I ended up finding it insightful for myself as a parent as much as potentially helpful for my parents. My own two sons are in the beginnings of teenagerhood, and while they presently are the type of kids parents brag about, reading this book reminded me of the need to change focus when my sons go off to their own adult lives, and that it is neither their jobs nor mine and my husband's to fulfill anyone else's life plans. At the same time while reading, I thought over all of the issues my parents are now -- and have for many years -- been struggling with in regards to my brother, and I wanted them to take Jane Adams' words of encouragement and straight honesty to heart and begin breaking the web of enablement and denial and guilt they and my brother have developed. While the book's focus is less on theory and specifics and more on the broader audience and general overviews, I found this book a great beginning move into the self-assessment needed in both "parents-of-troubled-children" situations as well as mere parenting. I will definitely recommend it to others as well as my parents.

Rating:
Summary: This Book Pierces the Veil
Review: This was not a book I would have imagined myself having the guts or integrity to buy. It is not that I am in denial about my grown children but I am in denial about the energy I spend fretting over their adult lives. Buying this book at the recommendation of a friend was a leap - and one I am so pleased I had the gumption to do. Dr. Adams touches something here; I sense that a collective sigh is heaving its way from the huddled masses of parents like myself who cannot imagine how our grown kids have ended up with their current lives. We know there is a lot of this going around but perpective has proven uniquely hard to come by. I would have bet the mortgage I could not gain such piece of mind from a piece of non-fiction; I'd now be willing to bet most any so strung out mom or dad could not help but gain wonderfully cosmic hall passes through this painful corridor of regret, guilt and aging. Brava Jane Adams.

Rating:
Summary: separate to live and thrive!
Review: Timing is everthing! And Dr. Jane Adams has advice for parents of grown children just when they need it most. With empty nests refeathering and many "kids" looking for handouts and bailouts, the American family can learn from the examples and the guidelines in this new book.
A long time after the kids should have flown, too many parents are still trying to "make it all better" for their offspring. Dr. Adams points out how hard it is sometimes to let adult children make their own way and how essential it is for parents to get out of the way and make lives of their own. With compassion and insight, Dr. Adams offers a lifeline for the beleaguered of the still-parenting generation. Read this book if the conditions apply to you now. Read this book now so you can avoid problems in the future!

Rating:
Summary: separate to live and thrive!
Review: Timing is everthing! And Dr. Jane Adams has advice for parents of grown children just when they need it most. With empty nests refeathering and many "kids" looking for handouts and bailouts, the American family can learn from the examples and the guidelines in this new book.
A long time after the kids should have flown, too many parents are still trying to "make it all better" for their offspring. Dr. Adams points out how hard it is sometimes to let adult children make their own way and how essential it is for parents to get out of the way and make lives of their own. With compassion and insight, Dr. Adams offers a lifeline for the beleaguered of the still-parenting generation. Read this book if the conditions apply to you now. Read this book now so you can avoid problems in the future!

Rating:
Summary: A welcome topic
Review: We feel so helpless when we see our kid self-destructing. This book helped me to understand where to draw the line with self blame. I also recommend Optimal Thinking--How to be your best self by Dr. Rosalene Glickman. Optimal Thinking showed me how to accept what is out of my control, and make the most of anything within my control. These two books saved my life!