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Summary: Good philosophical ideas but...
Review: ...short on practical ideas. A good "overview" of the typical types of families (Strict/Lenient/Democratic) but once I know what category I fit in I'd like more concrete examples about how to change. I was looking for realistic steps to better parenting, but this book was complicated to read. I also have younger children and the book really leans towards preteen/teenagers. I found a good book with similar philosophy, but more practical ideas, is this one: Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading.
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Summary: Understandable presentation of current parenting paradigm
Review: A couple of decades ago we figured out that hitting kids is NOT good for them. However, many parents did not know what TO do. Barbara Coloroso writes an easy-to-read as well as entertaining presentation of what to do to give the "gift of inner discipline." Every parent should read this book first to grasp the basic concepts of the best-so-far paradigm for parenting.As a parent, counselor and parenting teacher, this is the basic book that I recommend. Most parents learn more each time they read it.
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Summary: A great parenting Coach!
Review: A must have for your parenting library. Endlessly quotable. If you would like your child to grow up to be independent, creative and think for themsleves verses blindly obedient and controlled, this is the book for you! It will help clear your point of view on raising children and your parenting style more than provide you with a step by step guide. Coloroso is witty, warm and respectful of both parent and child. An easy read and a book you will constantly re-read to get you back on track!
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Summary: Mandatory for all parents and guardians!
Review: A sincerely written book that makes total sense. This provides a cornerstone on how to parent and what to expect from your kids. But more importantly, EVERYONE should read this if you want to improve on YOURSELF. If we followed her advice in our own lives and relationships, how much improved will our society be! Thank you Barabara!
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Summary: Incomplete and speculative
Review: After reading more than a dozen parenting books, I find this one the most contrived and least organized so far. This book is unnecessarily long and goes into excessive detail on how to handle the symptoms of problems without getting to the cause or cure. Some ideas sound great at first but soon get mired down by assumptions, conjecture and unrealistic or inappropriate examples.
The author suggests responding to a child bugging for something by saying "Yes, later" only to give in moments later. This must be the source of inspiration for such books as "Parents Who Think Too Much: Why We Do It and How to Stop it" by Anne Cassidy and "Wimpy Parents" by Kenneth N. Condrell.
To see the possible outcome of these "positive" tecniques read the book "The Manipulative child: How To Regain Control and Raise Reilient Resourceful and Independent Kids" which is based on observed results not philosophy or opinion. I also strongly recommend the books "Ain't Misbehavin" and "Setting Limits" which are guaranteed to improve your management style and make your kids happier and confident. Your kids are worth it!
Barbara Coloroso is and inspiring speaker and her books have a real feel good quality, but I don't feel they are very helpful for discipline problems.
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Summary: Excellent book!
Review: Although the book is focussed on parenting, the ideas and philosophies the author promotes apply to anyone who works with kids. I have found that using the techniques suggested in this book as made me 100 times more effective in my job. Colorosso understands the value of self-awareness and an internal locus on control in healthy development. The book not only helped me in work with kids, it also gave me insight into myself, my experiences, and my relationships in general. I believe that the 3 types of families - backbone, brickwall, or jellyfish - also can be seen as 3 personality styles, so that we are not only brickwall, jellyfish, or backbone people with kids, we are that way in general, where our relationships are concerned. If you look at it this way the book will go a long way to giving you tools to deal with all sorts of conflicts in your life.
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Summary: great book
Review: As a social worker and parent educator--and someone who greatly respects "little people"--I return to this book again and again for down-to-earth values and ideas. It's fun to read, with no psychobabble. No, it's not developmentally based--but it can certainly be used in conjunction with other books/ideas/theories. Very down-to-earth & refreshing. . . especially if you are not a proponent of spanking.
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Summary: Reused Ideas from Diane Baumrind!
Review: Barbara Coloroso (2002), in her book `Kids are Worth It!' emphasizes the importance of social learning; the concept of parents modeling behavior they have deemed appropriate. While the book was decent overall, I found Coloroso's drawling examples utterly tedious. Coloroso actually discusses techniques for "...getting your child to make the bed" for 12 pages consecutively! Nevertheless, it does offer practical advice, and Coloroso nicely sum up each of her chapters with easy-to-understand tips and pointers. Coloroso's book makes note of four particular family structures. She labels the families "Brick-Wall", "Jellyfish A.", "Jellyfish B." and "Backbone". According to Coloroso, the structures of the particular families ultimately are repercussions of the parenting styles used with the children. In a Brick-Wall Family the "kids are controlled, manipulated, and made to mind. Their feelings are ignored, ridiculed, or rejected." Jellyfish A." parents leave their children "disoriented and confused"; there is a lack of structure in the family and "...the parents vacillate between brick wall and jellyfish". In the Jellyfish B. family "...no one is around to provide a nurturing, caring, supportive environment". The children eventually learn to fend for themselves. Backbone families have parents that demonstrate appropriate behavior, listen to the child's point of view, but are still able to say `no' when necessary. There is a balance between independence and support in a Backbone family. To anyone who has studied developmental psychology, Coloroso's "family structures" appear to be borrowed from Diana Baumrind's model of the four parenting styles (Santrock, 2001). Baumrind, a leading authority on child rearing, suggests that "...parenting styles come in four main forms...Authoritarian, Authoritative, Neglectful, and Indulgent". Like the "Brick-Wall" parent, an Authoritarian "...is restrictive and punitive". The Indulgent parents "...are highly involved with their children but place few limits or restrictions on their behaviors". Similar to the Jellyfish B. parents, Baumrind's "Neglectful [parents]... are uninvolved in their children's lives", and the "Authoritative parent encourages children to be independent but still places limits..."; sound familiar to Coloroso's "Brick-Wall" structure? If you think so, I suggest you go straight to the source and read Baumrind's book.
In the grand scheme of things, relating with your child's temperament can be a relatively small ordeal. Getting your child out of jail, preventing suicide, anorexia, and drug abuse are major problems and some of the predicaments that Coloroso attempts to tackle. The Backbone parent in Coloroso's family structure becomes knowledgeable of a drug situation by researching at a local library or a related assistance program. When the Backbone parents have a daughter suffering from Anorexia they check her into a specialized treatment center. When there is an attempted suicide in the Backbone family professional psychological help is sought. A concern I have with Coloroso's book is her ability to view these serious yet prevalent situations with the ease that all families striving to be `backbone' have access to both medical and psychological healthcare, as well as the availability of legal assistance.
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Summary: I would recommend this book to all juvenile officers.
Review: Barbara Coloroso does a wonderful job of contrasting punishment vs. discipline. In the world of restorative justice, her definition of discipline would allow the victims of crime to become more involved. This would help the victim and offender feel that justice was served. A great training reference.
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Summary: This book has completely changed the atmosphere of our home!
Review: Barbara Coloroso has taken the ideals I've always believed in and made them practical. Without a doubt, this is the best parenting guide I've ever come across. Since implementing these principles, our home life has become so much happier and our children are really benefitting. A must!!!
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