Rating: Summary: Good wisdom re: boys; not so good wisdom re:families Review: Gurian's book does a fairly good job at examining the inner life of boys; their physical, socio-emotional, and sexual development.However, my major complaint w/Gurian is twofold: (1) whether wittingly or unwittingly he gives the "traditional" family the short shrift. Early on in the book he makes a statement to the effect that anyone who has had to go through therapy that was from a two-parent home is intimately familiar with the shortcomings of the "two-parent" family. His solution? The TRIBE. The Tribe according to Gurianian wisdom, (or the lack thereof), is the panacea for what ails our young me. If we can establish "three levels" of "family" around the boy; the 1st is the immediate family, to include grandparents, the 2d is the uncles, mentors, etc. the 3d is "the community," this will make better boys. Gurian basically has the same view of the family that Hillary Rodham Clinton does; "you can't do it alone." Gurian dillutes the influence of the father (despite what he writes about the father's importance) when he puts forth the well-meaning, but misguided notion that the "other men" of the community are just as important as the father! Only the village can raise your child. Mr. Gurian's Third World approach to child-rearing removes the personal responsibility adults have to (1)not make babies you cannot emotionally, or financially care for, and (2)If you do have a child, it's all about the child, so "get over it." Like so very many who share this Rodhamist perspective, Gurian blames "society;" this amorphous, mysterious,non-being that exerts its ... influence over humankind. Hogwash. I want to build families up, not tear them down. Read this book with a gigantic grain of salt, because Gurian's "social philosophy" is greatly flawed.
Rating: Summary: Open your minds fellow proud feminists, PLEASE Review: Anyway, this book is oh so valuable. I have gotten SO MUCH out of it, including a greater understanding and respect for my husband and what his role in the life of our boys, our family, truly is. Wow. I msut admit, the chapter on mothers stinks. Gurian did an awful job on that, and is probably the main reason i couldn't give him a 5th star. And in response to soemone who thought only fathers liked this, as i said I'm a mother and i found this book tremendously valuable. Especially the part regarding the spiritual and mentoring needs of boys as they grow through adolesence. Gurian stresses the need for male mentors, and he has good points, but I personally imagine a boy needs any mentor with whom he clicks regardless of the gender of that individual. Anyway, this book is wonderful and thought provoking.
Rating: Summary: Don't bother unless you hated your mother, too Review: This book was not a total waste of time, but almost. The first section did have some interesting analysis of the problems confronting boys as they differ from those confronting girls, and as I read parts of this section aloud to my husband, many of Gurian's points resonated with him. Of particular note was the argument that we do not have to disempower girls in order to empower boys -- it is not a zero-sum game. However, this was my first book about parenting boys, and from reviews I've read about other books, Gurian may not have much new to say. Even the sample pages I just read from Dan Kindlon's book, Raising Cain, covered much of the same material. What I did find disturbing was his insistence on laying the full responsibility for boys' healthy emotional being at the feet of their mothers, a topic that he spends a great deal of the book discussing. Most telling, he outright admits that he had a terrible relationship with his own mother, and continues to have a great deal of resentment toward her. At worst, you have to ask yourself whether he wrote the book to get back at her; at best, this admission completely destroys any credibility he had in criticizing the role of mothers. Anyone who tries to blame any one particular group for the issues of an entire sex has got to be suspect -- pass this one up and try one of the other books recommended in these reviews.
Rating: Summary: Let boys be boys not girls ! Review: Let boys be boys! Give them positive male role models,teachers and mentors! This is what boys need! Boys do not need female teachers in preschool or grade school forcing boys to play with or like girls! Its wrong for women to deprive boys of their boyhood and the "behavior" that makes them boys just to protect the progress of girls! This is stupid! Lets quit grossly overexaggerating the so called "handicap" of girls.Theyre doing fine! Its boys that are struggling today,and nobody seems to give a damn,least of all,women.I dont care what times we live in,boys deserve to be encouraged,inspired and supported just as much today as 40 years ago.Why should only girls be encouraged while boys are ignored just because of the false perception that the boys are the privileged majority and should therefore be held back so the girls may succeed instead? This very notion which has been perpetuated by female-centered propaganda is wrong and its absurd.We need to quit viewing boys and men as the root of all evil in our society and therefore undeserving of anyones love or support or concern.They are human beings and children of god,just like girls are.
Rating: Summary: Ignore the negative reviews of this book! Read it! Review: I implore the viewers of this site to ignore the negative reviews on this book! There is no reason for anyone to give this book less than a positive review! Please,have compassion,intelligence and a conscience! Read the book! Please dont side with these hateful,bigoted women with their feministic viewpoints! Let boys be boys,making boys more feminine does not work! This irrational,petty hatred of all things male is stupid and its cruel! I`m sick of these women giving any book written about boys or men a one star review,even if its written by a woman! Please dont be like these women,be a child of god,have a heart and a soul!
Rating: Summary: I didn't know that until .... Review: This book gives me so much insight into how I could relate with my 14-year-old son. It helps me with seeing my son moving into the adolescence stage, which could otherwise be quite painful and confusing. Through this reading, I could much better understand his behavior in an informed and hopeful manner, rather than reading into his motive and feeling hurt and desperate. The balanced and comprehensive content coverage is useful, the tips are practical, and the stories and cases are interesting. I highly recommend this book to any parents with boys.
Rating: Summary: 'Boys and Girls are different' is a dangerous idea? Review: Some time ago I read this book and found it to be incredibly insightful. Not only did it help me understand my sons better, but I also came to understand myself better as well. I so enjoyed it that I came back to this review page recently to find suggestions of other books of this type. I was shocked to see that the rating had dropped precipitously since I'd first read it, brought down by a batch of scathing reviews. I noticed that they all sounded strangely the same - using hyperbolic, if not hyperventilating rhetoric, nearly all of them charging the book with "misogyny". As if championing the role of a father in a boy's life is somehow "woman-hating." Or suggesting that boys will be boys, so why don't we channel their natural aggression into positive activities is "dangerous". Naturally, most of these attackers did not cite examples (those who rely on name-calling and invective rather than reasoned thought never do.) There was one exception, though she completely misrepresented the author's point. I hope those of you considering this book are guided more by the reviews that actually discuss the ideas in the book, rather than those reviews poisoned by political agenda. This is an important book well worth your consideration.
Rating: Summary: HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD Review: Well, well, well. As I read the other reviews, I noticed a trend. Men basically liked the book and women basically disliked it. That fact alone should speak volumes. What is worse, the women tended to recommend "Real Boys," which, in my opinion, is a book written with an extremely effeminate point of view. This is not what boys today need. As for Gurian's book, however, it hits the mark. It should be required reading for EVERY College of Education in the country. There is much to the "boys will be boys" theory. As an educator for the past 21 years, I have seen the damage that is done to boys by trying to make them act more feminine. Agression, competition, etc. are truly hard-wired into the boy's psyche, and the right thing to do is to direct these attributes into making the good boy into a good man. Mr. Gurian does an admirable job of showing us how to do this. IGNORE the feminists and READ this book! It will open your eyes... our boys' well being could depend on it.
Rating: Summary: Very interesting! Review: Helps in understanding how the boys in your life think...including your husband.
Rating: Summary: A waste of time and money, written by a closet misogynist Review: I picked up this book several months ago after the birth of my second son. I thought that this book would give me some insight into what my sons needed from me. Well, was I disappointed! Because I have not been a boy, I cannot possibly understand my sons needs; however, with the guidance of quasi-feminist Gurian, I'm to see the error of my feminine ways and cater to their needs. Whatever. This book wasted my time. He had nothing incredibly new and revolutionary to say. I trudged along throughout this book hoping to come upon some real insight. All I found was Gurian peddling his own boyhood experience and well-embedded stereotypes to us. For example he writes on p. 112, "One eighteen-year-old father put it to me this way: I wanted an abortion. She didn't. Now I have to pay the rest of my life because what she wants is more important. Why should I pay? Let her pay." Gurian goes on to say, "My counseling with this man was to try to bring him closer to his child. Yet it's hard to argue with his point of view...his former girlfriend is legally in control of her body and the fetus, but the byproduct is that she is legally in control of her former boyfriend's future too." What? Is he saying that it's a woman's fault alone that another human was created? Not quite, but what he is saying is that a man should have a choice to abort as a woman does. Is this what our society really needs? I don't think there is a teenage boy alive who can say for certain he knows his girlfriend will have an abortion if he says so. This being the case, boys should keep their pants up. They know how babies happen. I also have a real problem with Gurian talking up how to raise boys when he has never been a father of a boy himself. He has two girls! His experience is summed up in the introduction. Anyhow, don't waste your time. A better alternative is "Parenting with Love and Logic." Boy or girl this is a really effective way to raise children without all the ...that confuse parents.
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