Rating: Summary: I was very disappointed. Review: Being the mother of five boys, I was very much interested in reading this book. However, early on, I had major philosophical differences with the author's position--first of all the notion of the development in utero that traumatic stresses on the mother, causing insufficient releases of testosterone, creates a male without a "male brain." Even the basis on which the author takes this position is anecdotal and theoretical. (See Amazon's listings of the titles Mystery Dance and Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors). Attempting to put aside my differences in opinion, I trudged forward hoping to gain some insight into the world of boys, but I found no new information. The author presented the reader with a variety of truths about our society--the lack of proper discipline, positive role models and parental involvement, etc.--which are applicable to all of America's children, boys and girls alike. I believe this book speaks to a limited audience: (i) mothers who feel that,! because they were never boys, they can't understand their sons; or (ii) mothers of daughters, who then have a son and keep expecting him to act the same. A mother shouldn't expect any of her children to be exactly like herself or any other child, regardless of the child's sex. This would then speak to a larger issue of who we are as parents rather than what we can learn about boys.
Rating: Summary: Essential reading Review: I am so disappointed to actually see reviews with 2 stars. Gurian's book gives us tremendous insight into the biological differences between boys and girls. When I had my son I was very concious of making sure I wasn't "making him into being a boy" as my psychology classes in college suggested. My son never had an interest in dolls, he didn't even know what to do with them. My son instictivly picked up balls and cars. His first word wasn't mama or dada, it was ball. Gurian tries to dispell the feministic approach that we have all grown up to believe for the last 20 years, that boys and girls are equal. Trying to get boys to play like girls only ends in frustration. Everyone knows boys and girls are different, understanding the differences helps you treat your sons in ways that make them more successful. This book gave me tremendous insight into how my boy thinks and reacts to the world as well as the other men in my life. This book makes sense.
Rating: Summary: Just what most parents want to hear..... Review: I found this book interesting until I reached the second chapter and at that point I could go no further. He admits that evidence about the effects of day care are divided and then turns around to say it is just fine. Not only that, but day care is just like an extended second family which is just what boys need. Please! The final straw came when he basically said that the nuclear family of dad, mom, and kids was no longer possible in America, to just get over it, and move on. He admits that boys being raised by single mothers is the worst possible situation and greatly increases the boys chances for all kinds of problems, so why isn't he admitting that the need to get back to solid intact families is the most important thing we can do for all children in this country? Instead he emphasizes creating this large extended network of three families which is 1st the home family of which any make-up of people is fine, 2nd other relatives and minimum wage paid day care workers, and 3rd the whole community in general. After reading this politically correct 'tell parents what they want to hear' garbage, I knew I couldn't trust another thing he might say.
Rating: Summary: Very Interesting and Useful Review: Michael Gurian takes his life experiences of growing up in several very diverse cultures, blends it with research on childhood development, and creates a thoughtful, insightful perspective on what our culture does and does not do when it comes to raising boys. I'm not sure I agree with all of his conclusions, but he raises many good points and puts some good topics on the table for contemplation and discussion. As a mentor and a clinical psychologist who works with children and their families, I see far too many boys trying to figure out how to become men with little or no input from men, or at least from men whom we would want them to emulate. Growing up doesn't just happen as they grow older; growing up requires guidance. Mothers do all they can, but boys need men they respect who will teach them how to become men.I find Gurian's cross-cultural perspective fascinating, although he does not do as good a job in this book as in "A Fine Young Man" (his book on adolescence) of suggesting actions that can be taken and changes that can be made to help our boys. This book is strongly recommended for mentors, therapists, educators, and parents.
Rating: Summary: A Counselor's Must Have (not to mention a parent's) Review: I haven't finished the book yet, but so far I am very impressed with the organization, readability, and content of this book. I am an elementary school counselor who just recently found out I am expecting a baby boy (first time mom) and I had heard other counselors in my district rave about Michael Gurian and his work. I actually intended to purchase The Good Son by the same author, but accidentally got this one instead and have been pleasantly surprised by it. It really goes into the brain chemistry differences in boys and girls which helps to explain the differences that we see in behavior, affect, and thinking. I definitely recommend this book to any teacher, counselor, or parent. I have orderd The Good Son, and I hope it is as good! I feel that it will be. :)
Rating: Summary: his books are all about $$$$$ Review: Gurian is trying to sell a dangerous idea to the Ameican public. The idea of boys and girls being from opposite ends of the universe,biologically,mentally,emotionally and spiritually. Biologically,testostrone and estrogen are cousins and have no affect on scholastic ability or aggression.Yet Gurian sells this idea to a gulliable and easily lead public. His idea of boys being stronger mentally at all the spatial and math abilities is a joke,but it does have it's place amoung the neocons trying to keep women in their place. His idea of the "perfect" male is nothing more than an old American sterotype of brute force and emotionally challenged,but he calls this "normal" and expects all parents to believe their son is a misfit if he's sensitive and passive.Well many boys are sensitive and passive and many girls are very tough and aggressive,and this is what being an individual is all about. I'm not from the US and I see this country spinning down a dangerous path to media dictatorship where neocons,fundie christians and blatant sexist money grubbing authors try and dictate how others are to behave,think and live.Telling the "public" what is "normal" or "acceptable" gender behavior. Gurian is selling dangerous beliefs which will affect childrens lives for decades if parents believe this rubbish. The young men will have an incrediable amount of responsibility whilst the young women will be underminded at every turn in their dreams and self esteem. Gurian is dangerous and destorying your children. I hate to think of the damage already caused in your schools. I agree with the reviewers who gave this book,one star. I'm happy to see there are some people out there who have not been fooled into this sexist sick rubbish! The best gift one can give a child is their own self,unique and individual!
Rating: Summary: What a dissapointment Review: I was so dissapointed! After having a son, I was looking forwards to reading this book and stupidly bought it. At first I thought some of the ideas were interesting and was very upset to read that boys are more suseptible to child abuse. Then I read two whole pages on how to spank a child!! North America has the highest rate of child abuse as the North American law allows spanking..other countries..like Scandanavian countries do not allow any kind of physical punishment of children and have a much lower incidence of child abuse. Shame on this author! I can't believe someone would write a book outlining how to spank a child!!! As a parent, I read precisely to have many other options than resorting to that..I was going to give the book away, and then decided to just throw it away..I wouldn't want to pass this onto someone else!
Rating: Summary: boys need punishment??? WHAT?! and rarely, a spanking??? Review: At first, I thought that Gurian had some very helpful/insightful things to say about what boys need.... THEN, he goes on to say that boys need rules, and consequences, and punishments... he suggests how to punish a boy.... and then even goes on to write about SPANKING! saying that it should be very rarely done, and then quotes John Rosemond's guidelines for spanking !!!! After reading Raising Cain, I was definitely expecting more from Gurian than punishment.... I can see how the other reviewers would say that they think his poor relationship with his mother (as he describes it) made an impact on the writing of this book.
Rating: Summary: Same Sexist Rubbish As "The Wonder of Girls" Review: All of Gurian's books are based on the theory of hormones affecting the brain in utero.Gurian rattles on about how gender misfits are created through girls getting too much testostrone and boys too little.What a fails to tell us is how all hormones are cousins,testostrone,esrtogen,androgens etc. You have a choice between two "normal" children,the boy who roughhouses and the girl who plays with dolls and yearns for romance and intimacy.All other very human and individual traits are discarded as a mistake. The book is dangerous since it gives a map of how boys and men are "supposed" to behave,learn and excell in life.His take on men has to do with his bias against girls and women.The boys and men,or what he says are normal behavior for boys are men are aggressive,non verbal communication skills,math,science and spatial ability and an ability to controll emotions,there by being better able to grasp the complex nature of daily life. If your son doesn't fit his narrow interpetation of "male" then he is said to have a female brain.Same with girl,defective girl has male brain.He fails to tell us brains are brains and how we develope connections by using or being exposed to certain stimuli such as math vs language.If a child to lead in the direction of a certain subject,they will develope pathways in their brain for the subject.But don't tell this to Gurian because it blows all his concepts and theories right out of the water! Gurian gives too many expectations to boys.The responsibility falls squarely on the male in performance,aggression and math ability.If someone's son doesn't add up,somehow then the child is lacking,is defective and odd.Since so much is expected of men and boys,and not enough of girls. People are individuals with individual brains.When this is realized these sexist books will become a thing of the past and the writers will be forgotten and disdained.
Rating: Summary: overlong and shallow Review: This book is like a magazine article stretched to book length, with no increase in content. The writing is cloying and mawkish, mooning over "mysteries" any parent has seen 100 times, and understands better than the author...
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