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Summary: a must have
Review: this book has changed the lives of everyone who has read it... i have purchased over 20 copies, and given to friends and clients, and refer everyone, who is having problems with their kids, young or old.... and have received flowers for the referrals.... i just bought 10 more.... buy it, read it... and read it again..... personally, i bought the book, when i started having problems with my 12 year old, he changed after i read the book.. he graduated valedictorian.... cant say enough about it.
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Summary: Cuts quickly to the heart of the matter
Review: This book is ideal for taking decisive control of a difficult child. When you use the methods in this book, you gain a breathing space. Then you can use other methods such as are suggested in Cline and Fay's "Parenting With Love and Logic." Nothing works all of the time, but many of the ideas in this book worked immediately for me.
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Summary: Usable strategies to parent difficult children
Review: This book makes clear distinctions between the times when parents need to verbally or physically interfene and times when naturally existing consequences will prove be the best teacher. The author provides brief before and after stories that help clarify potential behavioral outcomes if the reader will follow the parenting program outlined. Raising children can be difficult, and they don't come with a manual. This book is about the closest you can come. When combined with a primer on how children learn (such as Living with Children, by Gerald Patterson, Ph.D.) Back in Control gives parents valuable advice in how to consistently reinforce desireable behaviors and how to interrupt negative spirals.
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Summary: This works!
Review: This book opens a parent's eyes to just how lazy we can be. Gaining our children's respect for our authority as parents requires effort, especially if that effort was not put forth when they were young. Bodenhamer shows us how to do it, and lets us know that if we are unwilling to put forth that effort our children are the ones IN CONTROL. My children were in control after my divorce, until my sister (bless her) gave me a copy of this book. It took lots of effort, I was late for work many times for a couple of weeks, some of the "fun" things I liked to do were missed. However, in about four weeks life with my children became amazingly wonderful! This book not only changed my children's lives it changed mine. Over the past six years I have purchased at least six copies of this book and given them to friends, including new parents with the recomendation that if they follow Bodenhamer's guidelines NOW their children will not only love them but will RESPECT them for the rest of their lives.
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Summary: Advice saved my teenage daughters' and my relationship.
Review: This book was recommended to me by a wonderful woman at the San Jose police department when my now 28 year old daughter ran away from home when she was 14. I love the title because it implies we have had some control to get back to and when my daughters were out of control, I did not think that was the case! The advice gave me a way of dealing with my two daughters' behavior that allowed me to stay calm and not react and still get what needed to be done accomplished. I have recommended it to every parent who has ever talked to me about their child's behavior. Today, my girls thank me for caring enough to chase after them in the car when they tried to run away, promise to show up at school dressed for PE when they wouldn't, and for keeping focused on the issue rather than letting swearing and and name calling derail us. More than once, they have said, "I don't know how you put up with us, Mom." I always say it was this book's advice that helped. Today both of these challenging teenagers are happy, productive, and responsible adults and we have developed a friendship that is based on love and respect for one another. I have found these techniques work equally well on my husband and my friends, diffusing potentially combative situations before they get out of hand. This book should be required reading for all parents of children over 2 years of age!
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Summary: Wonderful--The most help I have ever had!
Review: This book was so helpful to us. Our five year old had started acting out as soon as kindergarten started. He acted out violently towards us, himself and other people. We dreaded coming home each day. After being recommended this book, our lives are much more pleasant. We have had the best time with our son and no more arguements! This book is easy to understand and realistic in aspect! Real life situations are given which help you relate them to your life, not to mention that it explains WHY children act the way they do and WHY we act the way we do. A must have for ANY parent, not just those who have problems children.
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Summary: Long Lasting Results
Review: When my daughter was 14 she spun completely out of control. Runaway, drinking, drugs, sex. It was devastating since we had what most would consider a 'normal' home and family. A family therapist recommended this book to my wife and me. We took the subject matter seriously and applied it (some of it was painful to us... but we were learning how to deal with a child who was destroying herself). The results in some instances were immediate. In others it took some time. Eventually, we regained our home life and our daughter. Its been several years now and I am happy to say that there is hope. Our daughter is well-adjusted, finishing college, happily married and makes certain that we know she loves us. I highly recommend this book to ANY parent who is dealing with a difficult child. The author puts the responsibility for behavior back on the child which takes the heat off of the parent. The ownership of behavior becomes the focus. Parents are liberated and free to love their child back into a positive relationship. Advice: Don't EVER give up on your child. Find all the tools you can to help you help them. Start with this book. I know it works.
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Summary: Who's in control at your home--adults or kids? Here's help!
Review: You're a parent trying to do a good job -- love, attention, rewards, discipline, understanding -- but no matter what you try your son/daughter seems to be getting more and more defiant. Here's good news -- this book really works. It's an easy read and chock full of simple, effective and unique methods of dealing with topics ranging from simple problems such as a messy room to more serious challenges such as alcohol or drug abuse, shoplifting, truancy, teenage sex and running away from home. "Back In Control" explains how to establish rules, stay on track and keep control. As the book says, "Power belongs to those who use it. And if you don't, your children will." Who's in control in your household? If the answer is your kids and not you, this book can really change your life
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