To Train Up A Child

Rating:
Summary: Homeschooling mother of 5
Review: Well, let me start by telling the people that gave this book a poor review that they are sadly mistaken! This is a wonderful book about training up godly, loving, thoughtful children that will learn how to obey God as they grow into adulthood. As far as the reviewer who's friend's children live in fear of their father...Don't blame this book on that! If that is the case then they are NOT following the priciples in this book. Michael Pearl says himself that parents that demand obedience through hostile means are making a mistake in childrearing. And that he doesn't agree with that in any way. We have used this book as a tool in raising our children with great success. As with any resource, you use your head and make decision based on the situation and the child. This book stresses consistancy in your training and interaction with your kids. Much of it is common sense and teaching kids that they need to be accountable for their actions. For some reason today parents are afraid to teach accountability. Our children are a pleasure to be with and can sit still in church and other places where self control is required. They are obedient and respectful because we have trained them to be that way. Kids don't learn these things on their own. If you are serious about raising your children in a way that glorifies God and makes them a joy to be around then this is the book for you.

Rating:
Summary: Wolves among the Sheep
Review: I read this book several years ago. When I first read it, I thought it was a great book. But the test of time and experience revealed the folly and heresy of the Pearls' teaching. Michael Pearl is a cult leader who is causing harm to many families. Save your money and your children. Stay away from the Pearls.

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Summary: Do you want kids you like?
Review: It made me see how God sees traning kids. It works! I like my 4 kids now, and thay like me!

Rating:
Summary: Total shame
Review: This book should be removed from the shelves. I can't believe anyone in todays world, especially if you slightly call yourself Christian, would go by this book.
Mine was thrown in the trash. I simply can not believe the advice given in this wretched book. I honestly wonder if the authors 5 children obey him out of fear.
I know several families who have taken this book to the extreme and I've witnessed 1st hand at the fear the (older) children have of their father(s). It's heart breaking. It's all I can do to keep from calling our local DHR to check into the welfare of these children.

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Summary: A wonderful resource to restore Family Values
Review: This book is truely a blessing. If provides wonderful examples to provide parents with the means to raise up their children to truel glorify the Lord. This book was given to me by a mother of 6 of the most well behaved, charming, lovely children you could ever hope to meet. A testimony to me that it worked. When I read it I immediately bought the next 3 in the series and upon implementing the information spelled out on it's pages had great success with my own children, as well as my overall attitude towards discipline, which went from a "you did wrong you will pay with punishment" attitude to a "you did wrong so I will guide you in the direction of complience". I helped me to deliver discipline in love not anger.

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Summary: hitting children is not God's way
Review: This book is a terrible combination of scripture twisting and self-justification for violent parenting! Kids get their view of God based on how they're treated when little (see Spare the Child by Phillip Greven). Bullying is not God's way.

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Summary: Scary and dangerous
Review: This book is very dangerous. The Pearls advocate hitting infants as young as six months old, with small pieces of pipes or "switches". This type of behavior is not only illegal, but obviously abusive. It is against the law in most area to treat animals in such ways! Their attitude toward children AND women is very scary. Listen to your instincts. Hug and cuddle your babies and toddlers when they are sad. Don't beat them with objects! Honestly, I am amazed that these people are not in prision for child abuse. A disgrace to Christianity. Total waste of money.

Rating:
Summary: The only child training book you will need
Review: This is a great book. It works.
I read it several years ago and was able to tweek my parenting skills and improve the discipline and behavior of my already well-behaved children. I reread the book again a few weeks ago, after a four-day visit from relatives with 2 and 4 yos. It was obvious that they needed helped. Now, we are purchasing copies for all our relatives with children.
The authors claim that your child can be trained in three days. Last week, I also took care of my 20 month-old nephew for the first time. He was here for four days. When I picked him up, he was running to every corner of Grandma's house pulling things down and throw things in the floor-nothing was off limits. When they rearranged the furniture to keep him contained so that we could have a conversation, he threw a fit to be picked up. When he was picked up, he threw a fit to be let down. Nothing would appease him, but the freedom to do anything and go anywhere he wanted. I told everyone that I was going to use this book to train him while he was with me. I quoted the authors who said that we should house-proof our children, not baby-proof our houses (What are you going to do when you visit others...ask them to rearrange their home every time you come over?-you'll be a very welcome guest!). By the next day, he was obedient. When I said no, he stopped. I didn't have to yell. I didn't have to spank. By the third day, he was obeying without crying and throwing temper tantrums. When I dropped him off with his mother, he held out his arms and wanted to go with me. :)
Out of curiosity, I have called many of my friends who have well-behaved children to asked if they ever heard of this book...every single one said that they had not only heard of it, but had used it successfully.
The authors distinquish between discipline and training. They stress that discipline (spanking) without training is wrong. The idea is that you get to the point (very quickly) where spanking is not needed very often. Consistency is a vital key, as well as authority. You DO NOT break the child's spirit as one reviewer said...you break the child's WILL. Authority does not rest in the hands of a child, but too many parents give it to them. Yelling and anger are not allowed.
I don't know where the one reviewer got the "pompous" label. It never fails that authors of Christian, conservative books are labeled "arrogant, pompous, or self-righteous." I did not get that impression at all. They have a method that works for them every time and part of their ministry is to counsel parents. If you have confidence in your message, many people take that as arrogant, pompous and self-righteous.
Finally, another reviewer made claims of abuse, citing a fist-fighting match between Mrs. Pearl and a child. I don't recall that one, but I am reading the book a third time TO MY CHILDREN, so I'll be on the lookout for that one. Likely, the scenario is being misrepresented. I remember the plastic wrench story.
Spanking is part of the plan- God's plan. Which is more abusive- a child who is spanked, or a child who grows up and has a terrible life because he never learns to control his own WILL.

Rating:
Summary: Not that bad
Review: I admit the authors sound a bit pompous...like theirs is the only way...but in general the suggestions and principles are good.

Rating:
Summary: advocates abuse, twists scripture
Review: The author, in describing how his wife taught a little boy not to hit: "my wife struck, seemingly, with all the force she could possibly muster without standing for a wind-up" and when the child didn't learn his lesson: "This time, her bottom came off the couch as she drew back to return the blow; and I heard a little karate like wheeze come from somewhere deep inside. "

Biblical verses are twisted to support this behavior, even to the point of using Psalm 23 (The Shepherd's Psalm: "Thy rod and Thy staff comfort me") to claim children are comforted by being hit with a rod--when a Shepherd's' rod is not used to hit his sheep, but to defend them. Be very careful about reading this book; it's filled with misinformation.