How Can I Forgive You? : The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To

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Summary: Fresh, healthy way to look at forgiveness
Review: This book is fantastic. Instead of the typical "forgive or don't forgive" as being your only two options, it gives you a way to deal with, get over, and release yourself from past hurts. It's not always possible to forgive someone who's hurt you if they haven't shown any effort to repair the damage, and choosing not to forgive them simply poisons your life. This book teaches another alternative, acceptance, and walks you through the exercises needed to "get over" past hurts. One thing I really like is that it also helps you re-examine the things that have happened to you and look at them in an honest, broader scope. Bottom line--I think it's going to dramatically help me heal the numerous past hurts I've been hanging onto once I go through each exercise, and I'd highly recommend it!

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Summary: Forgiveness is ALWAYS the right choice.
Review: Unconventional advice? Yes, and very worldly and unbiblical. Self help books can be helpful at times, but when the author's ideas are not founded in truth, then they can become harmful to us. This author tells us that sometimes we do not have to forgive. The author is convinced that morally and spiritually a person is no more required to forgive an unrepentant offender than he or she is to love him. This is in direct contradiction to two very important truths that God tells us. One is that we MUST forgive, and the other is that we are COMMANDED to love our neighbor as ourselves. If we do not forgive, then our Father in heaven will not forgive us, the Bible says. It does not matter if the offender is unrepentent or not. Forgiveness is a choice we make on our part that frees us from bondage. It is a decision. It is not a feeling. A person may have been tremendoulsy hurt by someone, but to forgive the offender is the best choice to make. It is the only choice. Process the hurt through counseling if you must, but CHOOSE to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what they did. It only means that you recognize the humanness of the offender and that YOU have, at one time or another, been in the position of being an offender yourself.In that light, you have no other choice than to forgive. When unforgiveness is harbored inside of us, emotional and physical problems begin to occur. Many of the illnesses people suffer are from a direct consequence of unforgiveness. Because we are in direct disobedience to God when we choose NOT to forgive, then our blessings are jeopardized. This author has many interesting things to say, but do you want to follow the advice of a self-help author shlepping a book, or do you want to follow the advice of the God of this universe who GAVE us THE Book? I'll choose the latter, thank you, and keep my blessings.