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Summary: For parents, educators and anyone concerned with children.
Review: Once again, Mr. de Becker has allowed us his wonderful insights and common sense about how we can trust ourselves when we choose to listen. If everyone could read this book and learn to be aware of the natural phenomenon referred to as intuition, we could also set ourselves as an example to our children and start a new generation of safer societies and less stress, tension, hostility that is based on unwarranted fears and the sadness too often born in hindsight of those missed or ignored intuitions. Please read this book and take every suggestion to heart. I would encourage everyone to also read his earlier book The Gift of Fear for the same reasons applied to your own protection and safety. If you are unaware of how to truly protect yourself, you cannot be aware enough to protect your children. Sincerely, Barbara Reynolds, M.S., CCC-A Clinical Audiologist
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Summary: If you care about kids, you should read this book!
Review: Gavin De Becker's new book is a valuable and important extension of his excellent "The Gift of Fear." I teach high school psychology and had my classes read TGOF, which proved to be an eye-opening, empowering tool for teenagers. "Protecting the Gift" expands on these ideas by specifically focusing on child and teenager safety. While I agree with some minor criticisms that the new book repeats some older material, the repeated material is worth hearing again, and the new book provides the most thoughtful and specific advice I have heard on how to talk to children about self-protection. As I new parent, I am grateful for De Becker's instructions. My own parents are wonderful, but as I suspect is true of the vast majority of families, they never talked to me as a child about how to recognize, prevent, and report sexual abuse--or how to trust my intuition and say no to adults in any number of questionable circumstances. By teaching us how to engage in this dialogue, De Becker is doing the public a great service!
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Summary: Amazon says "a terrifying book"??
Review: It's like that reviewer missed part of the point: being too fearful ADDS to danger; it doesn't reduce it. That's part of what sets this book so far apart from the others: it's not jam-packed with fearmongering horror stories. This book is the most sane, research-backed, well-written guide to keeping our children safe I have seen. It is so difficult to find the medium point between being appropriately cautious and living in paranoid fear. This book details clear, simple steps I can take to enhance the safety and wellbeing of my children- and myself- in all sorts of situations, today and in the long term. I am so thankful.
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Summary: ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to ALL Parents!
Review: Gavin De Becker has compiled a very thorough, interesting, readable, and *essential* guide to keeping children safe in our world. While there are parts of this book that may be unpleasant to read [nobody likes to read about bad things happening to children], it will instruct and prepare parents to keep their children out of harm's reach. I found the book very empowering and have already implemented many of his suggestions. This book also reduces fear in the sense that it helps parents seperate common yet improbable fears [child abduction by strangers] from the very real fears that they may be turning a blind eye to [like molestation by a family member]. It helps parents understand what they need to do to prevent this kind of tragedy and yet also helps them seperate 'media hype' from reality. I am extremely glad to have found this book and read it and I feel that my children are far safer because of it. If every parent would read this book our world would be a much safer place for children!
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Summary: Should be mandatory reading
Review: This book has changed my entire perspective on daily living. I suggest it to any parents or even any women involved with children (I am making my mother read it as she does the majority of babysitting), I also suggest any person involved with any child at any time should read this book. If it were made to be mandatory reading I believe the crime rate would drop across the globe. I also believe the lessons in this book should be taught to children in school. "safety" should be a class as any other "math", "english" etc. out of all the lessons this would be the most valuable. Gavin writes in clear concise layman terms that don't leave you to ponder what he meant. I like the way he gives examples and walks you through each tragic event. (making them tragic helps you to remember). Starting these lessons today can greatly improve your childs future and I suggest anyone with any age child should read (my boy is 8 months old!) Definately worth every cent (and I paid $34 for it as I am in Canada!)
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Summary: Best Book for Parents
Review: Parents,Teachers,Doctors...everyone. This is the best book to teach how to keep our children safe. Wish Someone could have read the book and kept me safe as a child. I ant to also recommend two books, Nightmares Echo and Beauty For Ashes. Both of these books are told from the sexual abused child's point of view. Each offering thier own way to survive.
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Summary: Save our Kids
Review: This book, if followed will take the gift of fear an enable us to use it to protect our most precious gift, our children.De Becker shows through more stories specific to the subject of protecting children from predators of all types. Helping children be aware of how a stranger could actually lie to them to get them to respond and strike up a conversation, then.... Teach our children this, we will limit the number of child abductions and violence against children.
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Summary: Buy it for yourself and those who take care of your child
Review: While expecting our first baby and then as new parents, my wife and I received loads of excellent advice from friends and family regarding childbirth, doctors, baby-care, day-care, formula brands, etc. Last week, as a father with 8 weeks of experience in parenting, I had my first opportunity to offer advice to an expectant parent. I suggested she visit two day care centers I had liked, visit the pediatrician my wife and I chose, and read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. Gavin de Becker makes his living predicting and preventing violent behavior. His firm provides security and consultation to celebrities, athletes, world leaders, the CIA, U. S. Supreme Court and other security organizations around the world. In Protecting the Gift, de Becker introduces parents to startling statistics revealing the violent reality of our culture: one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually molested by the time they reach adulthood; 90 percent of sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows; the most common age that sexual abuse begins is when the child is three years old. Most parents live with a mindset that denies or ignores this reality. But as de Becker shows in his book, our children are living in this reality everyday. De Becker's purpose in this book is two-fold: 1) to hit parents in the face with the real dangers awaiting children, and 2) to teach parents how to avoid fruitless worry and to take meaningful steps to protect children. On both points, de Becker succeeds. Parents are raising children during an age when an FBI child-pornography sting indicts teachers, coaches, pastors and judges. It is an age of guns and date-rape drugs. At the same time, many parents experience an urgent need for help in raising children, often from the age of six-weeks onward. Parents look for family, day care workers, sitters, schools, nannies and friends to provide support in raising children. How can parents assure their children's safety? De Becker addresses this question by first focusing on the fact that violent behavior can be predicted. The book teaches that children can be taught skills to avoid dangerous situations and people. He emphasizes the development and use of intuition as a parent's key resource in recognizing threats. He cites numerous stories of people avoiding harm by listening to intuition and others who ignored intuition and became victims.
De Becker shares many practical lessons. He teaches what to look for in safe child-care workers and sitters. He lists the signs that indicate a dangerous stranger versus a friendly stranger. He also illustrates ways that well-meaning parents do things that increase a child's vulnerabilities. The Bible teaches that wolves dress in sheep's clothing and that evil-doers masquerade as angels of light. Nothing fits this description more precisely than a sexual predator of children. De Becker teaches that pedophiles and rapists often gain the confidence of their victims through being overly "nice" and "helpful." They have to do this. How else can a pedophile convince parents to trust him or her with their children. Over and over, we see that pedophiles go to where they can have access to children and, like chameleons, blend in perfectly.
I think people in the church today are especially susceptible to this type of criminal, because the presence of evil has been downplayed and we are usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and accept them at face-value. De Becker shows parents how to remove doubt and to know who can and cannot be trusted. There are several other topics in this book that I think are important to parents. The book cover summarizes one of de Becker's purposes in writing it: "By showing what danger really looks like-as opposed to what we might imagine it looks like-de Becker gives parents freedom from many common worries and unwarranted fears." A lasting impression I take from the book is that the people with whom I and my family interact are who they are not who I want them to be. I know that some people are influenced by perverse and evil desires aimed at children. Because of this truth, I think it is important that parents read this book. I also suggest that adults, especially women, read de Becker's bestseller The Gift of Fear.
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Summary: intelligent, practical and to the point.
Review: If I could afford it I would buy this book for every parent I know and anyone I didn't who would take it.
This is a difficult book to read because it talks about the truth.
This is a most valuable book. De Becker is an intelligent writter that does not insult the readers intelligence or couarge to face facts.
What is so valuable is his ability to walk the reader out of denial and then into the most simple and practical ways to be with the truth about what we as parents and caregivers can do to keep our kids as safe as possible.
What De Becker refers to as the wild brain was the most helpful to me as a parent. What I basicly got from it was to stop worring and pay attention to my gut instincts, be aware-but not paranoid. Take action on your gut feelings no matter what the circumstance may seem like in terms of politeness and social graces.
I most sincerly hope that you read this book. My review does not do it justice.
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Summary: A Must Read for all Parents
Review: It's been a while since I read this book, however I appreciate the logic and the common sense approach it contains. I believe parents could really learn some valuable things from this book and it could be used as a prevention tool to protect children from abuse. As a parent of grown children I realize how often I discounted my children's opinions of people. I have learned so much from this book and I encourage parents and other adults to read this book and other books by Mr. DeBecker. They give you permission to trust your own instincts and those of your children. Buy the book, you won't be disappointed.
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