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Summary: Finally a book to tech parents how to behave
Review: Being new parents my wife and I kept seeing books on how to get your children to behave. Some of the books were around when our parents raised us. We didn't like most of these books, becuase they did not seem to address what effect parent's actions have on the children. This book is definately a proactive, rather than reactive, guide to showing your kids the right way to do things. I recommend this book to all parents, especially new ones
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Summary: I wouldn't want to be raised like this
Review: The thought that kept occurring to me as I read this book was "I'm glad I wasn't raised in that kind of bootcamp." Some of the advice is good -- focus on good behavior, provide guidelines, be consistent. But good behavior is the only focus, with no attention paid to understanding, communication, or improving relationships. The assumption is that children misbehave only because they lack motivation. (There are many other reasons.) He advises escalating punishment until the child cracks -- to the point of holding a door shut on a child in time-out while he screams. (I hope nobody takes that advice.) I also feel that the constant stickers and charts are demeaning and communicate a lack of confidence in the child. Dr. Severe even advocates withholding special treats and outings unless they're a reward for good behavior -- which I think may make a child feel that the parent loves the behavior, not the child. This advice may improve the child's behavior -- but at what cost? If you have a "difficult" child, try "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, for a more understanding approach.
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Summary: A wonderful training manual for all parents!
Review: I originally bought this book because of the problems I see my brother and sister-in-law having with my 4-year-old nephew. It was as if Dr. Severe was a guest in their home for a few hours and wrote this book specifically for them! Uncanny! Luckily, my sister-in-law has purchased a copy of it and is actually reading it! But I also found the book VERY helpful for myself and my husband...and we're not even parents yet! Reading Dr. Severe's theory of discipline as a way to teach good decision making gave me a sense of confidence...that by preparing for misbehavior before it even happens, I'll be better equipped to handle it when it does. Most of all, it provided an opportunity for my husband and I to really talk about how we want to handle our children (and ourselves!) in the future...luckily, we are on the same page. The book brought to the forefront not only how absolutely NECESSARY it is for parents to be consistent WITH their children, but how vitally important it is for parents to be consistent BETWEEN themselves. Divide and conquer seems to be a running theme with children (at least it is with my nephew). Now we know that working together will only make things easier...for all of us.
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Summary: Teacher and Guidance
Review: As a teacher and guidance professional, please listen to my plea - buy it. Parents very rarely know what words to use or even how to act when it comes to getting kids to behave. This is a book to give to anyone. It's worth its weight in gold as the author explains why or why not a particular request will work towards motivating our children to behave. I have used this book, along with "Mommy-CEO" by Jodie Lynn, in teaching parenting classes for individuals who are struggling with everything from back talk to homework. Both authors have a world of wealth for some of the best advice offered today. I think it is partly due to their previous teaching experiences. Another book I often suggest is "Listen So Your Kids Will Talk." For Amazon Reader's Information: The only reason I rated it 4 stars is it is lacking in humor - something we all need each day of our lives while parenting.
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Summary: Do As I Do, and As I Say -- An Improvement on B.F. Skinner!
Review: The author points out that we mostly learn our parenting styles from our own parents. Since almost everyone is critical of some things that their own parents did, that can leave you without a lot of role models. Ah, but this book can more than fill the breach. Basically, any relationship is improved by first improving yourself. As the author points out, if you provide a bad example to your child, you can expect your child to copy you. If you allow harmful influences into your child's life, those will be copied too in many cases. The good news is that children will normally only misbehave about 5-10 percent of the time, unless we train them to do so more often as the primary way to get attention, rewards, and satisfaction. If you are having more trouble than that, this book will definitely help you. There's a wonderful self-help quiz to assess whether or not you need this book. Here are my two favorite questions: "Does your baby sitter give you a discount for coming home early?" "Do your children spend hours in front of the TV and only minutes doing homework?" The reference to B.F. Skinner is an allusion to his behavioral modification theories, which he applied to one of his own children by keeping the child in a box, and using the kind of training that you use with pets. This book puts that inappropriate method out of the way by seeking thinking cooperation from, not control, of the child. The author has 25 years of experience as a school psychiatrist dealing with "behavior-disabled children." He's seen it all. I liked his stories though about his own family best, starting with the one about his 3 year old relieving himself in the refrigerator after the new baby came home. Sibling rivalry strikes again! The book has special chapters for dealing with all of the toughest problems: children who misbehave deliberately all the time; ADD; violent children; when and whether to spank; changing the rules that don't work; and overcoming your own bad habits of losing your temper. To start the book, you are asked to be open to new ideas, to manage your own anger, to learn to prevent arguments and power struggles, to be patient, consistent, and positive. That's all good advice, but I think the patient is the best. Children don't usually move as quickly or as directly as parents like. With a little patience and encouragement, however, they will usually get where they need to go. Most parents take their children's behavior too personally, as though it is a physical demerit or punishment aimed at the parent. Lighten up! The only area where I disagreed with the book's advice (after the experience of 4 children) is in turning everything possible into a potential reward or a punishment. I think you can get the results you want without going that far. That approach just encourages kids to be overly sensitive to looking for carrots and sticks in adult life. Life isn't that simple or fair. I was especially impressed with the advice for how to help children develop the ability to make good decisions, and gradually increase the scope of their decisions as they become better at it. That's the way to help your children, while keeping some peace in the process. If you think you are very good with your children and get the results you want, then you probably don't need this book. If you aren't happy with how things are going, this book can really help you. It's essentially Relationship Rescue for parents and children. Overcome your misconceptions about how to be a good parent and live happily ever after! Enjoy your children at the same time!... END
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Summary: This stuff really works
Review: I bought this book for my harried wife and then kept the kids (one five-year-old and two three-year-olds) busy so that she could find time to read it. My wife is happier because the kids are behaving much better. This makes life easier and much more pleasant for me. The three most important things you will find in this book are: 1. be consistent 2. be consistent 3. be consistent
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Summary: Read For Know How
Review: I'm not through it yet, but it is by far one of the best parenting books today. He gives great examples that make sense. Our doctor reccommended this book and "Mommy-CEO." The later is shorter and has many of the same ideas, maybe more tips from real parents. Both books are excellent with workable solutions right up front. Read for the "know how" that many authors simply leave out. Great easy reading.
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Summary: Excellent for parents of kids of any age
Review: It is amazing how succinct and thorough Sal Severe was when writing this book. I recommend it to parents of kids of any age, starting at 1 year old. Actually, from what I could grasp, the sooner parents start using Sal's techniques, the better. Techniques are easy to implement because they are rational and logically supported. In addition, our doubts about exaggerating or being too soft are dissipated. This book should be a must-read to every parent. Good job, Sal!
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Summary: What a Goldmine!
Review: I have to tell you that I feel that I have just discovered a goldmine! I am the district Title I Parent Involvement Coordinator in the Rock Island School District and Dr. Severe's book seems to have answers for the most frequently asked questions by our students' parents. There is a tremendous need for guidance for parents in the area of behavior and motivation. I am ordering one book now with the expectation that printing Dr. Sal's material in our district newletter will make necessary the ordering of many more.
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Summary: Great inspiring book! :-)
Review: I feel this is a wonderful book - I am hoping and working on applying it to my daily life. Great inspiring book! :-)
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