Rating: Summary: Real Boys is a wake-up call for parents and educators Review: Real Boys is a wake up call for parents and educators to reexamine their own perceptions of masculinity and reflect on how they unknowingly mold and encourage boys to hide their true emotions and feelings. William Pollack, a clinical psychologist and codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School, presents his findings after nearly two decades of researching the true nature of boys. He causes the reader to pause and reevaluate all that society has taught us about the male psyche. This book introduces the reader to numerous boys who share their feelings of shame and despair in trying to live up to the "Boy Code". Pollack feels the pain that comes from boys prematurely separating from their mothers puts them on the cycle to hardening themselves emotionally. The one acceptable emotion becomes anger. Throughout the book Pollack encourages parents to take time with their sons in helping them express their feelings while showing them empathy and love. Part two of the book discusses the ways parents can help their boys escape from the gender straightjacket that is imposed upon them. Pollack exposes myths that negatively portray boys as macho creatures shaped by testosterone with no social skillls. He instead presents examples of boys who are emphatic as a result of nurturing parents and educates the reader to be aware that boys express their love through action and work. Pollack includes chapters regarding the different but equally important role of mothers and fathers in bringing up their sons. He also writes about the effect of healthy relationships with peers and the devastation that some boys feel when they discover they are homosexual. Pollack takes on the schools in failing boys in a number of ways but specifically for failing to understand the Boy Code. Boys continue to lose self-esteem as the mask of masculinity tightens and they conform to what sociey expects from them, interfering with their ability to learn effectively. Pollack feels sports is the one arena where boys can safely come together to bond and express their true emotions. Part three of the book deals with what Pollack refers to as the three main traumas that are a result of the Boy Code:Depression and Suicide, Violence, and Divorce. He educates the reader on how to detect signs of depression and violence in boys as well as strategies that will help parents reach their sons. The underlying theme in this book is the destructive nature of the current Boy Code that exists in our society for boys today. Pollack calls on parents and educators to adopt a new Boy Code that teaches boys to be honest instead of fearful, communicating their feelings instead of burying them. Parents and educators need to realize that boys and girls communicate in different ways and the most important thing we can do for our boys is to stay connected through strong relationships and dismantle the current Boy Code.
Rating: Summary: Thank God someone seperated me from this book!! Review: Good lord what a bunch of whinning drivel. Wipe your eyes and get a grip, and for God's sake be a man. Who can get through this stuff?
Rating: Summary: valuable and interesting Review: This book contains many valuable insights. A must-read for parents. For people who are interested in another thought-provoking work on the subject of raising boys and what the pressures of gender stereotyping can do, I recommend Our Guys by Bernard Lefkowitz, based on a true story. It explores many fascinating issues about boys and girls, and it reads like a thriller -- I couldn't put it down, and neither could anyone else in my reading group. A good companion to Real Boys.
Rating: Summary: As a transsexual, I never understood boys Review: Ever since the age of 5, I knew that I didn't fit into the world of boys. At that point, I had a near-death incident followed immediately by an incredible spiritual awakening where I learned who I was and also what my purpose in life would be as I grew older. Today, as a happy, fullfilled post-op male to female transsexual, I am happy to see books like William's wonderful book available because books like his offer a lot of answers that our young boys often don't know who or how to ask. I didn't fit in to the male world and I couldn't function in it but today I am an international author (Chi Gung: Chinese Healing, Energy, and Natural Magick by L.V. Carnie), a Two-Spirit Shaman, and a Chi Gung master and I spend about 20 hours a day helping, healing, and in some cases, even literally saving the lives of plants, animals, and people in life and death situations. While my story about being a transsexual Shaman is rather unusual, my point is that no matter who we are, we can find our path and learn to help others. And that's what I see life and the message of William's phenominal book as being all about. So please buy Real Boys and share it with your friends because it may just help you help some young boy somewhere learn to embrace himself for who he is, no matter who that happens to be, and to grow into a loving and well-adjusted person.
Rating: Summary: This book is a godsend! Review: The same magic Dr. Pollack worked on the Oprah! show finds its way to the pages of this amazing book. He is an incredibly inspirational author. For anybody who wants to understand the inside emotional world of boys (and of men), this book is a must-read.
Rating: Summary: Excellent guide for parents of boys. Review: As a father of eight and ten year old boys, this is one of my two favorite reference books on parenting (the other being Active Parenting Today Parent's Guide by Popkin). Real Boys paints the de-facto societal picture that today's (and yesterday's) boys are growing up in and shows you how to nurture boys into a better, more real, view of themselves and others.
Rating: Summary: Mary Pipher on REAL BOYS: Review: "I wish I had read Real Boys when my son was a boy." --From the new foreword by Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia
Rating: Summary: Wonderful book, inspiring tapes--boys like it too! Review: I bought eight hard covered copies, but most of my friends loved but did not finish the whole book. I then bought and shared the audio on which Pollack reads from the book. It is wonderful. My adolescent clients really enjoyed it--I use it in training session for new childcare workers!
Rating: Summary: Fabulous resource for Middle School Teachers! Review: This is the first book I have read that has such down to earth recommendations for every sector of the community on how to appropriately deal with today's boys. I have tried many of the recommendations and every one worked. In the classroom, the knowledge contained in this book is priceless. All teachers should read it.
Rating: Summary: Steps beyond parenting: handbook for mentors of boys Review: This book is not simply a guide to the better parenting of boys. Anyone who deals with boys should have a look at this eye-opening book. Though some of Pollack's outlooks may seem extreme (ie: homosexuality in boys) he hits all the boys emotions and feelings right on the target. Especially informative are the tips on how to connect with boys. These tips are ideal for mentors, special friends, and teachers of boys. Highly recommended.
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