Rating: 
Summary: Blaming the cultural elite?
Review: I felt this book, unlike its subject, was neither controversial nor interesting enough to merit much discussion. I agree with the other reader from Seattle that Pollack contradicts himself on a number of counts. But I do have to wonder about this man-hating cultural elite described by the Washington reader. There's no question that there's been a recent gynocentric trend in literature, academia, etc. But who is driving this trend? The cultural elite is largely made up of men- male writers, professors, entrepreneurs. Is this trend not only man-hating, but self-hating as well? It seems simplistic and just plain silly to blame the struggles of today's young men on an evil cultural elite and the degeneration of paternal presence in the home. The members of this supposed cultural elite grew up in a time when papas were far more likely to stay married to mamas. But just look how they turned out.
Rating: 
Summary: NEW "GROUNBREAKING" NEWS FROM HARVARD!!!
Review: In observing boys for 20 years, Pollack is bound to get a few insights on the condition of boys in our society. However, the conclusions he draws from this information is absolutely appalling! The recent biography on Dr. Spock is good reading for those who believe in the sort of child-rearing and palp that has been an obvious failure. The warning from this past generation of children is obvious: We did something terribly wrong. But does Pollack recognize the mistake and recommend real solutions? No, he runs further out into left field.Does the good doctor remember just a couple of generations ago when young boys were disciplined at home and at school? It is just this sort of touchy-feely, "let's listen to the children" hogwash that ignores the realities of human nature. In short, children are selfish brats in need of love, teaching, and lots of good spanking. All we need is to look again to the academic elite of this country for more warmed-over trendy notions that fall in line with the politically correct, male-bashing philosophy of this book. The brute irony is that Pollack is prescribing the same malarchy that caused the problem in the first place. There is essentially nothing new in the conclusions of this book. There is nothing unpredictable in this book. Dr. Pollack is observing the problems that men like him caused in the first place and telling parents to do more of the same. As our educational institutions are racked with violence and ignorance it is absolute travesty to see another book of this ilk. The anger I feel for the deception these people are pouring out cannot be understated. When I see good people in my church and among my friends raising children to be exemplary citizens with time-honored methods of unselfish love and discipline, it leaves me aghast that their examples are not followed. I gape at the utter failure of these people to understand either history or human nature. Save yourself and your children. Don't buy this book, but instead get involved with a local, Bible-believing church and pick up "Dare to Discipline" by James Dobson, a man who has raised two fine children of his own. I hope that in 20 years we will not be reading about the dysfunctional and pathetic real life of Pollack, as we have in Dr. Spock's biography. Isn't it clear that these people, with their ruined lives, don't know what they are talking about? Judge a tree by its fruit. This one's tastes rotten
Rating:
Summary: This kind of thinking is part of the problem not the cure
Review: While there are kernels of truth in this book -- boys relative to girls are doing worse in school, the path to manhood is more perilous than the path to womanhood -- the underlying premise is pure bunk,and merely reflects today's cultural hatred of all things male. Who says men have historically been without feeling or vulnerablility and ability to express their feelings? This is nonsense. You would have to live in an utter vacuum without any awareness of history or literature or art or religion or anything to believe that the ideal of manhood implies lack of emotion or lack of caring or sensitivity. Yes some men have been hardened and some men and women have used shame to raise children - but this reflects the fallibility of human nature not some historical failure of the culture to understand what men are or should be. The book's premises are questionable in several salient respects. It suggests that boys need to express their feelings more and then indicates that boys typically express their feelings through action not talk. It equates enforcing behavior codes with shaming and rejection. It suggests the answer to the problem is to give even greater authority to public institutions to raise our children by assigning one-on-one mentors to each child in the public schools. As if the public schools weren't already trying to do more than they are capable of or even should be attempting. The author derides traditional notions of masculinity and then emphasizes the importance of sports to healthy development of masculine identity. Come on folks. Boys are in trouble today because our institutions and the cultural elite despise maleness and are hostile to all things male. Boys are being asked to conform to unrealistic expectations, and they are in frightening numbers being asked to do it without fathers.
Rating: 
Summary: Very insightful, revealing and helpful.
Review: This book hits all the notes. Most every issue that boys and their parents will face is discussed with warmth, common sense and compassion. The book is filled with wonderful insights into the psyches of boys and young men and excellent advice. The feelings and thougths of the parents and boys quoted throughout the book are very insightful. In the final analysis, this book is a must read for all parents whose goal is healthy and nurturing parenting for young boys who are bombarded with confusing and emotionally stifling expectations from both parents, schools and the society at large.
Rating:
Summary: Very insightful, revealing and helpful.
Review: This book hits all the notes. Most every ssue that boys and their parents will face is discussed with warmth, common sense and compassion. The book is filled with wonderful insights into the psyches of boys and young men and excellent advice. The feelings and thougths of the parents and boys quoted throughout the book are very insightful. In the final analysis, this book is a must read for all parents whose goal is healthy and nurturing parenting for young boys who are bombarded with confusing and emotionally stifling expectations from both parents, schools and the society at large.
Rating: 
Summary: Good book but curiously downplays the role of fathers
Review: Very insightful book, however for a book on breaking down gender stereotypes it seems to perpetuate them by seeming to insist that the mom be the central part of upbringing. Extensive sections on single moms but the only discussion of single dad households is two sentences which state that research showing relatively positive outcomes (i.e. relative to mom getting sole custody, not relative to intact familiys) is controversial. Notes that Dads are more likely to suffer from depression after a divorce but does not draw the logical reason. Dads lose far mor than moms in a divorce. Yes moms economic status goes down more, but she tends to keep what is really important... the kids. Even today the courts are horribly biased against men in divorce cases. A mom must be totally unfit to not get at least joint custody, dad has to fight for minimal visitation rights. When was the last time you heard the phrase deadbeat mom? these are however minor quibbles with the book, the central tenent of the book: Todays boys are in big trouble, and much of that trouble stems from never being allowed to show any negative emotion other than anger, is a very important one. Boys are not toxic they need our love and support, even if they put on a tough self sufficent disguise.
Rating:
Summary: Every Dad should be reading this book.
Review: In the wake of the Colorado shootings, every MOM DAD, Educator, counceler, and gym teacher should be reading this book. Are boys are in big trouble in our society and something needs to be done about it. It needs to start at home!
Rating:
Summary: I should have bought the abridged version. Verbose!
Review: Good stuff but Pollack tends to repeat himself. I would have appreciated the same information in half the text.
Rating:
Summary: Most closely reasoned book I have read on boys in the US
Review: Dr. Pollack's book is quite simply the finest study I have seen to date on the problems relating to being a boy in the United States today. I have, for the past six years, been conducting a study of the military school in American education today. Pollack has sharply clarified vital issues of shame and its multiple effects on developing boys. The recent Littleton events should come as no real surprise; the perpetrators had suffered a lifetime of ridicule, ostracism, physical and psychological abuse and shame, quite apart from apparent parental indifference. I wish only that Pollack had evidenced some knowledge of how the military school can help such desparate boys. Boys enter such schools with a clean slate, and ridicule, ostracism, shame are not tolerated. They are sanctuaries where boys can grow apart from the stresses so perceptively explicated by the author.
Rating:
Summary: A book we cannot afford to live without!
Review: This book is a must for everyone who is raising or working with boys in our culture. We can finally rid ourselves of archaic thoughts on how boys "should" act and be treated. School violence, including suicides, ends with everyone picking up this book and putting the ideas in it into action. It is a nice read and highly thought provoking.
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