Rating: 
Summary: An excellent read
Review: I'm a guy who works with teenagers and I found this book extremely interesting and useful. I found much of what I've learned about boys through my own experience to be closely reflected in Pollack's book. Over and over the boys the author talks about reminded me of boys I've worked with, and I feel that Pollack's insights have really helped me gain a better understanding of the reasons behind some of the behaviors I have observed in boys.I especially liked the "mix" of sound research and practical advice. The book has the depth that a foremost clinical psychologist can provide, but at the same time it's not overly theoretical. There are lots of practical suggestions that I know will help me do a better job working with boys. I can't quite give the book five stars for two main reasons: First, the book is sometimes a little verbose and repetitive; second, while the first several chapters are a very easy and fascinating read, I found the later chapters a little "flatter" (again, more repetition than new insights). Nonetheless, I really think that many teachers, coaches, and mentors (besides parents, of course) could benefit greatly from reading this book. Strongly recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Keeping our boys together
Review: This book is very informative and valuable. A five star book except that it is too long or not as organized as it could be. Thus, the content becomes repetitive. The author explains the societal expectations of our boys and appropriately labels this condition as the "boy code." With a son and daughter of my own, I will certainly support the author's belief that the boy code is alive and well. And, the cultural expectations we have for our boys is inconsistent with what we expect from them as men. The author details this dilemma and provides many experiences he has had working with boys. You should read and learn how to help your son be aware of this code and help him live within it. Also, the author implores parents to revise this code mostly by working with and influencing those adults such as teachers who influence our sons. Without the parents help, the author explains the near impossible task we expect from our sons when we ask them to transform from thick-skinned unfeeling boys to sensitive men. The author reminds the reader that what a mother expects from her son and what she expects from the man in her life provides the clue as to what is wrong. But, mothers are not to blame. Men are the major influence in passing the code along from one generation to the next. Fathers need to take a good look at the boy code and realize that it needs some tweaking so that our sons can manage better. The author explains this very well. It is worth getting a copy of this book.
Rating: 
Summary: Fills the Void . . . .
Review: As a boy, I always felt the "Void" - which is described as "The Boy Code" in this book. This code is for boys of all ages, and extends into adulthood. As a father of two boys, it has really helped me understand my childhood, my kids childhood, and has helped me remove the father - son barrier that seems ingrained in our culture and upbringing. I have dropped some of the silly baggage on what a boy / man should be, and have actually been able to connect more with my two boys because of this. Highly recommended!
Rating: 
Summary: Disappointing book
Review: I purchased this book because I loved Reviving Ophelia. This book is an absolute waste of money. First of all, it is difficult to read. Second, I don't agree with the conclusions of the authors. Third, it is boring. I read Reviving Ophelia in less than a week. Real Boys has been on my nightstand for three months, still only 1/4 finished. Meanwhile, I have finished at least 10 other books.
Rating:
Summary: Encouraging & Optimistic
Review: The best thing about "Real Boys" is the encouraging, optimistic way in which William Pollack describes boys and their emotionally capable and full natures. This is very refreshing and hopeful. His general discussion on the socially imposed gender straightjacket is very good, though the distinction between what is socially conditioned and what is essential or inherent seems arbitrary. At times the books seems overly wordy and long.
Rating:
Summary: A Must Read For All Parents of Boys!
Review: "Real Boys" was a great eye opener for me. As the mom to two young boys, I found myself all too often subjecting my sons to the myth that boys must be masculine and aggressive and anything otherwise is wrong. Dr. Pollack clearly showed me the error of my ways! This is a great book for parents of boys. I especially got great satisfaction from reading the chapter entitled "The Power of Mothers". In it, Pollack states, "...by empowering the mother you empower the son." How simple yet how powerful a statement. I am host of the Sons Channel at Bella Online, and I can't begin to tell you how many letters and emails I get from my readers - mothers - who want to know the best way they can raise their sons into good, upstanding men. Now, after reading Dr. Pollack's book, I can readily tell them it is all within their grasp - that a mother's love for her son creates a self confident, caring and sensitive man. Christine Clark sons@bellaonline.com
Rating:
Summary: Real Boys
Review: Real Boys by William Pollack, Ph.D. is a definite resource for any educator or parent. Although the content of the book does not seem to present "new" evidence or findings, the material forces the reader to become more aware of the moral and emotional development of boys in constant struggle with the Boy Code and our adult reactions to this struggle. The case histories offered in this book are concrete examples of a variety of developmental issues, such as sensitivity, separation, relationships, adolescent sexuality and expressions of love and anger. Even if these individual cases had been fictitious, the description of the difficulties experienced by the characters and the solutions suggested were food for thought. Only one example of these readings would be the connection referred to in the section on the generative father. The reference to the Biblical characters of Abraham and Isaac is used in this book as an example of the care for the next generation. This section on the father-son relationship took on a whole new perspective after I read that reference. Real Boys refers to the protection of the father for his son. If one continues with this thought, the occasion of the exchange was during the binding of Isaac as a sacrifice. Abraham says, "I am here, my son." Any book, in this case Real Boys, that inspires the reader to continue contemplating and searching beyond the written word, is worthwhile to read. This connection of our modern problems to an ancient relationship is only a hint of the interesting connections in Real Boys. Through the use of specific case histories and the general information such as the delineation of myths and truths, views on man's work, sports, peer pressure and what parents, families and educators can do, Real Boys contained theory and practice in one easy to read book. The section on depression describes particular instances and assists the reader in recognizing the telltale signs of depression. One can refer back to any of the sections in this book, as the situations arise. From the preliminary stages of repressed expression to the extreme of violence and suicide, the reader can take whatever tidbit might be helpful from this useful information. These sections are written with the straightforward language of any lay person, while noting the appropriate time to seek a referral for a professional. Many resource books regarding development are either theory or practice using excessive technical jargon or superficial examples. Real Boys presents some obvious observations regarding the emotional and moral development of boys and other insights which may not be as overtly expressed. The Boy Code referred to several times in this book is not a unique concept and one that most individuals, if asked, would agree exists. The utility of such a realization, that such a "standard" exists, is similar to the awareness of the usage of "wait time" in the classroom. Most educators, without realizing, wait seconds for a student's response to a question. By identifying "wait time" and including this area in the evaluation of a teacher, the teacher becomes more conscious of this tendency and more conscientious in waiting a few more "seconds" for a response. "Wait time" still exists, as does the Boy Code, but the adult's reaction may become more patient, sensitive and effective. Real Boys conveys the message that our responses to such a code can make the difference in the appropriate cessation of certain expectations from boys which may not be realistic, reasonable or healthy and the perpetuation of the expectations which encourage healthy emotional and sensitive moral growth for any child. Discussion and practical attention to these issues may result in the increased awareness of how we treat each other and a decrease in the behavior that negatively reinforces their perpetuation, particularly in our schools.
Rating:
Summary: As A Mother of Three Boys
Review: I read this book right after Columbine. I believed that what happened was definitely a "Boy" problem and being a mother of three teenage boys with a gun owner/ hunter father, I had to get all the information I could, to help my sons, their friends and the other Mothers of sons. I was scared and sad. However after I read the book I would talk to anyone within earshot about all that I had learned about the sensitivity of boys and how important MOM is in the lives of boys even into their adulthood. American moms are too eager to push our boys out into the world even into nursery school before they need or want it, because we want the respite, if even for a little bit, from our active, messy boys. I am guilty of the big push too! However after reading Real Boys I am much more prepared and knowledgable about what I say now to the young men that live with me and will forever call me MOM. This book is an absolutely must read for every Mom of every boy no matter what age.I never thought so hard or cried so much. Thank you Dr. Pollack
Rating:
Summary: The message is here!
Review: The message is here right in front of our eyes. This is a wonderful book. It may be a little long but it is easy to get to the real meat. Mothers who have sons should insist on all fathers reading this book. Many times, it is the male role models in our son's lives who wished they had different ideas and habits by their parents long ago when they were children. Our oldest teen son may not get to benefit from this too much but our other sons will. Grandpa loves it and says it will bring about the change he has been hoping for since a young child. We both love another book which has 5 simple rules for sons and daughters in raising warm and kind children, Mommy-CEO, is quite similar in defining our roles and those of our children. Both books are excellent in providing a strong basic idea. It's just one idea to give our kids the best chance in their scary world: treat children the way you want to be treated and begin changing our old thoughts today!
Rating:
Summary: Wordy book with important information!
Review: This book is presented as the male version of Reviving Ophelia. It addresses what our society needs to do to allow "real boys" to be free of "gender straight-jacketing", a term used by the author to denote those actions and feelings to be avoided by boys in our society so as not to be considered effeminate. The author also addresses the "mask" of boys. He identifies this as the denial of those actions and feelings used by boys to avoid feelings of shame brought on by others' knowledge of anything deemed less than truly masculine. Some excellent ideas are presented. There are two chapters which, I feel, contain particularly valuable information. The first is how schools can assist boys who are "acting out" in an effort to assuage their emotional pain. The second is how others can help boys who are feeling the pain of their parents' divorce. Those chapters and others describe causes of emotional pain, symptoms, and measures that can be taken to deal with problems specific to boys. All of the text is inextricably bound up with the idea of "gender straight-jacketing". A more heavy-handed editor could have made this book much easier to read. I feel much of the information is repetitive and long-winded. Nevertheless, the important information contained in the book makes it worthwhile reading despite this unfortunate drawback.
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