Rating: 
Summary: Rescuing Our Sons from Destroying Themselves
Review: Real Boys is a pivotal book that explains in great detail how to shatter the myths with which most boys are raised in our society, which prevent them to be allowed to be who they are. Their roles have been stereotyped, and have resulted in deep pain. Many fathers do not understand the bond that their sons need with their mothers, as well as any boy's need to share feelings, even if that means to cry.
Dr. Pollack's book brings tremendously valuable insight for parents who have sons, and how to spare them from guilt, shame, and to embrace their authentic selves in order to thrive, as opposed to devalue themselves.
If you are raising a son, I cannot recommend this book strongly enough. It also addresses teen suicide, and the signs of depression to look out for in order to prevent this from happening to your son.
Highly recommended for the tremendous insight it brings in order for boys to be REAL, and thrive.
From my heart, Barbara Rose, author of 'If God Was Like Man' and 'Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life.'
Rating:
Summary: An eye-opener for all teachers and parents!
Review: As the mother of a new baby boy and an elementary school teacher I found this book to be fascinating. Worrying about how to encourage our young boys to express their emotions without being ostracized by their peers is a delicate balancing act. While most of the book deals with school age boys/teenagers I found it most helpful as a teacher. It is the kind of book that made me think, "Yes, I've done that", or "That must have been what Joey was thinking when he did that." Pollack explains nicely the way we, as adults (and especially women) expect men to be sensitive and emotionally in touch but we discourage this behavior in young boys by shaming them for tears or encouraging them to "tough it out". The book provides real case studies from Pollack's work to illustrate how his ideas play out in real life. As a mother I don't have to worry about much of this for a while, but as a teacher I have already begun to rethink things I do and say to my fourth graders every day. A great read!
Rating: 
Summary: Coddling is not the answer
Review: This was a book I was assigned to read for a graduate level diversity class. In a group consistng of myself and three women, our opinions on specific topics in the book varied. However, we all felt that the author was telling us that we need to coddle our boys.
In "Teachers as Cultural Workers"(1998), Paulo Freire discusses the differences between authoritative, authoritarian, and passive teaching, with the passive approach caused by parents and teachers "coddling" the child. Boys do need to be expressive, but not to the extent that Pollack would have.
The other issue I have with the book is his noted studies. Not only is the reader left not knowing which study belongs to which statement, but also some of the studies are extremely outdated. For example, Pollack notes results of a study linking gay boys to being hereditary through a report from 1953! ...
Rating: 
Summary: wow....useless drivel...wow.
Review: As basis for my critique, I choose to do that which the author has refused: accurately quote primary sources.
"Listen to PETER:"Being a guy, wow. You don't know when you are going to offend someone-you always have to be watching yourself." pg. 151
"Sixteen-year-old ROSS relates it this way: "Being a guy today, wow. You don't know when you're going to offend someone. You've always got to be watching yourself." pg. 163 wow, I would have thought the proof readers would have caught that one. wow, its not even good fiction. wow, i cant believe this guy is APA backed. wow
Rating:
Summary: Groundbreaking; Destined to be a Classic
Review: This is a book about the pervase, institutionalized child abuse that turns innocent boys with open hearts into shut-down, terrorized creatures of constant shame. It explains beautifully how it is possible that sweet-hearted children, who happen to be male, can grow up into numb dehumanized men, out of touch with affection. It provides one very plausible explanation why so many of our young men are depressed, violent, or substance-addicted. Even if a boy is never raped, hit, or otherwise physically abused, it is possible for him to suffer corrosive abuse that threatens his mental health. Indeed, it is happening right now in millions of homes and schools in North America. The abuse Pollack describes is something we are all tacitly agreeing to impose on our boys and men. It is something we can change, one boy at a time. But doing so requires a new critical view of mainstream norms of masculinity, and the development of awareness of extremely subtle symptoms of emotionally troubled boys. Pollack provides all of this and much more. If you are raising or helping to raise boys, and if you have a clue what it means to have an open heart, and to embrace the full gamut of emotional experience and expression, you need to read this book. You will need the framework it provides for raising boys into open-hearted, strong-hearted men with as much familiarity with love, joy, sorrow, and fear as they have with rage and dirty jokes. You will also need courage, dedication, and willingness to be seen as the local lunatic who allows his son to cry.
Rating:
Summary: Questionable theories in a feminist and PC world
Review: Try "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson
Rating:
Summary: An eye opener
Review: I consider myself to be a woman who is happily married, continues to have good relationships with her 2 brothers and father, and has many male friends as well (I worked as an engineer). Yet this book really stunned me. I have been struggling with my son, and now realize that maybe my biases about boys have contributed to his behavior. I am thrilled to hear that he does not have to be a violent wild-man, that our relationship does not have to be crushed. I think this is great reading for any parent of a son. The reader has to get past the first 25 pages of pshycho babble, but it is well worth it. It is well written and flows through storytelling. The author truly challenges the status quo. It's a little threatening, in fact! Another happy suprise is that it is full of insights from start to finish. Often parenting books are written by hacks who are exhausted after 100 pages, but keep repeating themselves for another 150 pages. This guy is a PhD and the real deal.
Rating: 
Summary: Great Book
Review: This book was required reading for a child pychology class I took. I think this should be requrired reading for everybody who has a male in his or ger life. It offers some explanation about why males are so violent. It does not make excuses but give a better understanding of males and the struggles they go through. Reading this book may help understand themlseles better.
Rating:
Summary: Our Boys Need Our Help
Review: William Pollack has called us all to action to save our boys. He has researched and captured the problems that our boys face today. Read this book and hear our boys cry for help. Share these insights with your friends and family, and make a difference to help save our boys.
Rating:
Summary: Before you trash it, consider this...
Review: There have been a number of complaints about this book ranging from thoughtful to narrow-minded and ridiculuous. Among the top three criticisms are: (1) it is based on vague "research" by the author (2) it is repetitive, and (my favorite) (3) it suggests that parents raise boys as effeminate or as "girls". First of all, many of the people who reviewed this book complained that it was written in a clinical jargon, that at times, made it unavailable to the casual reader. In the same breath, these readers demand that scientific citations be presented every time Pollack begins a sentence with "My research shows". In essence, they are demanding scientific text devoid of scientific terminology. It's in the back, look it up. Furthermore, Pollack is a Ph.d in Psychology, and as such, probably does his research empirically. It is unlikely that he would publish phony results for all of his scientific peers to see and criticize if such results had no grounding in reality or even a kernel of truth to them.
I also feel that Pollack's seemigly repetitive writing style was a necessary ingredient in this book. He is not merely cudgeling us with case study after case study to make us cry, or to fill 400 pages. Rather, he is emphasizing the fact that the problems discussed in the text are problems for a great many boys and not just a few isolated incidences. A few depressed individuals is not news; an epidemic is. He is suggesting an epidemic.
Some individuals also stated that this book is based on common sense, such as don't call your son a "sissy" etc. If it is common sense, why is it still a problem? People need to be made aware of this growing epidemic and that many boys still recieve this treatment, despite it being common sense that they should not be raised that way.
Finally, there is the claim that Pollack is preaching that parents raise their boys as "girls" or to be "effeminate". This criticism is so ridiculous that it is almost unworthy of a rebuttle. These individuals are unable to imagine a nominal area between extremes; they are only able to see in black and white. Pollack is hardly suggesting that boys should cry every time they get a paper-cut in order to be in touch with their feelings. Rather, he confronts the fact that boys have been conditioned to hold in their deepest fears and anxieties; things that really damage a boy's sense of well-being if he is unable to express or work through them in any way. This is a completely different concept from teaching a boy to be a girl; it is encouraging the boy to be a human being.
It is true that this is not an "end-all-be-all" book about boys in the context of modern society. However, it is an important step forward in acknowledging the existence of a developing problem worthy of our consideration.
|
