Rating: 
Summary: If only . . .
Review: the book really delivered on its title. As other reviewers have pointed out, it has some useful snippets, and it can't hurt to try them out. Go for it. But for those of us with ex's that really are, um, uncooperative, it offers little help; most of the tips assume a level of maturity and responsibility that my ex, for one, certainly lacks. The thought of actually taking the authors' core advice and telling my ex that her behavior makes me "feel upset," and that I would like her to change it, would be humorous if it weren't so painful. My impulse is to say that, if you've got an ex who is as cooperative as those described in this book, you're relatively lucky, and don't really need a book with such a provocative title. Unfortunately, this may lead some to conclude that for those of us with truly difficult ex's -- those that really couldn't care less how we feel, let alone whether we find their behavior "inconvenient," and who view any interaction as an opportunity to express bitterness and hostility -- there is no recourse. On the positive side, just reading through the book may cause the reader to focus a little more on the importance of addressing his/her own attitudes and behavior, which is the most controllable element in the situation. The needs to be much more discussion of how to deal with those who don't respond to firm and principled verbal messages, beyond "if this doesn't work, maybe you need a lawyer or a therapist."
Rating: 
Summary: Great ideas to help both parents establish communications.
Review: The book was loaded with great ways to open a line of communicatoin with your ex and had several methods for solving problems and helping your child to cope with divorce. Many tips on single parenting and carrying on a parenting relationship after the marital relationship has ceased! Highly recommended reading for both "Jerks!"
Rating:
Summary: This is THE BIBLE for dealing with joint custody issues
Review: The greatest thing about this book is that it doesn't try to dictate to you "this is how you must do this" - but instead, gives you ideas and examples how to handle situations. It doesn't try to tell you how to change the other person to your liking, but how you can change how you react and respond to the other person, and that is THE KEY in fostering a harmonious joint custody situation. The title is humorous - haven't we all felt like that?
Rating: 
Summary: unprofessional, poor advice
Review: The title reveals a general bias against men, although the authors make some attempt to appear balanced, although most often the jerk is of couse the ex-husband. There is no index, so you won't find references for lying, manipulation and control. Much of the book seems to be a guide for the ex-wife to posture, rehease, and rationalize her behavior. Page 85 of the paperback lists 7 ways that the ex-wife can lie to her ex-husband to get him off of the phone. Wouldn't it be better to tell the truth and say the conversation isn't accomplishing anything? Page 94 gives an example of how the ex-husband phones to say that he will be late in picking up the child, yet the ex-wife is advised not to accomodate at all, period. Why would he call and make a request if it was not valid? Will there not be a time when the ex-wife also wants accomodation? Page 126 discusses an example of a communication block by not accepting the ex-wife's point of view. The example is that the ex-wife wants to restrict their teenage son from driving at rush hour. I'm 49, and I've never heard of anything like that in my life--sounds more like the authors are really disguising a controlling ex-wife. There are also frequent and sickening instances where the advice is to "schedule an appointment" with a child or the ex to discuss some issue . . . again, seems like a need for control. Don't buy this book, borrow it from the library (like I did) if you must.
Rating:
Summary: Helped me get a handle on my custody chaos!
Review: The two main things I got from this book were: 1) It helped me achieve a certain level of peace with my custody situation, and 2) It taught me some effective ways to communicate with both my ex and my son. These two things have definitely helped me get a handle on my custody chaos, and consequently I am able to focus more energy on parenting.
The book's early chapters deal with common problems that arise in an uncooperative custody relationship. The authors teach you how to break each problem down into the actual problems themselves, and the emotional component of the problems. By analyzing and understanding your own emotional reaction to an issue, you can deal with it much more effectively, and it ends up having less control over you. Sometimes you find that what you thought was a problem is actually not a problem at all, but just an emotional trigger.
Later chapters deal with effective ways to communicate with your ex. The suggestions the authors give are practical, and so far the ones I've used have worked. They are probably good for other types of relationships too.
The authors stress that building your child's self-esteem and self-confidence is extremely important. They also emphasize that even if your ex is a jerk, your child still loves and needs him or her. The authors teach that it is important to recognize how our words and actions affect our children.
I recommend this book for anyone who feels that their custody situation is out of control, or who has communication problems with their ex. No book will solve all your custody problems if your ex is a jerk. When you finish reading the book, your ex will probably still be a jerk. You will, however, be better equipped to deal with the jerk in your life.
Rating:
Summary: This book changed my life!
Review: This book from cover to cover offered useful advice on how to deal in a civil manner with your ex and put your child's needs first. I have sent a copy to my one sister in Jersey and now planning to send a copy to my sister in Pennsylvania. Don't be fooled by the title. . .This is an incredible book that helps you communicate effectively and be in control of yourself and your situation.
Rating:
Summary: unprofessional, poor advice
Review: This book has become more valuable to my situation since 5 years has gone by. In the beginning my ex was very clouded by violence, power and control. Distance, time and a restraining order has changed the current situation. This book has many techniques that were not viable when we first seperated. Now when he says he will pick up my son, he knows that if he doesn't show up on time time we won't be there waiting for him.
Rating: 
Summary: N/A if Domestic Violence is a factor
Review: This book has become more valuable to my situation since 5 years has gone by. In the beginning my ex was very clouded by violence, power and control. Distance, time and a restraining order has changed the current situation. This book has many techniques that were not viable when we first seperated. Now when he says he will pick up my son, he knows that if he doesn't show up on time time we won't be there waiting for him.
Rating:
Summary: A weak offering - there are much better books
Review: This book has some snippets of good advice, so I had to at least give it 2 stars. I can't give it any more than that, though, because the material is pretty weak. Basically, one of the authors runs classes to teach parents how to better communicate with their children (though is apparently not a degreed counselor). The other author is a writer who decided that these techniques could also be useful in dealing with an uncooperative ex. I can't say they're completely wrong about this - after all, good communication comes in handy anywhere. But this makes for a very shaky premise. There's no research behind it, and they don't even bring any clinical experience with using these techniques in this situation! (Plus, don't let your kids see the title. I threw the book out, considering that there was very little value compared to the risk that the kids would see it.) For a sound book on the same topic, try "Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolina Ricci.
Rating: 
Summary: Great for most situations
Review: This book is great for most divorced couples with children. It helps you examine the motivations for the decisions you make about your child(ren) without basing those decisons on irrational emotions. However, I would not have ordered this book if I were privy to its scope beforehand because it admittedly offers little help for those dealing with abusive or deadbeat ex-spouses.
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