Rating: Summary: It is about time Review: After many years wondering what in the world I am doing in such a difficult situation (step couple/step family), or if I am doing it right, I found this book so refreshing. The personal accounts made me feel like I was not in this alone! After reading this book, I can manage smaller bites and handle things day by day. I appreciate the book's focus on the Stepcouple and the experience and knowledge that the writers obviously bring to the table. This was a much needed book on a topic that has been sorely overlooked.
Rating: Summary: Saved My Marriage -- and my Sanity Review: Although there are many outstanding books on stepparenting, this is the first book that focuses exclusively on stepcouples. With the use of excellent case examples, the authors present sound advice and strategies for dealing with the innumerable, difficult issues faced by these couples. While this is clearly a "remarriage manual", it is more useful than most because it integrates theory in a quite readable, understandable way. For example, family of origin theory is used to demonstrate how unresolved, early life issues can further complicate stepcoupling relationships. I strongly recommend this book to those who are contemplating or currently in stepcoupling relationships, as well as counselors and therapists who see these couples in their practice.
Rating: Summary: Essential book for stepcouples and professionals! Review: Although there are many outstanding books on stepparenting, this is the first book that focuses exclusively on stepcouples. With the use of excellent case examples, the authors present sound advice and strategies for dealing with the innumerable, difficult issues faced by these couples. While this is clearly a "remarriage manual", it is more useful than most because it integrates theory in a quite readable, understandable way. For example, family of origin theory is used to demonstrate how unresolved, early life issues can further complicate stepcoupling relationships. I strongly recommend this book to those who are contemplating or currently in stepcoupling relationships, as well as counselors and therapists who see these couples in their practice.
Rating: Summary: Lessons from the heart Review: Finally, here is a book that speaks directly to the step COUPLE! The stories and insights shared by this book are inspiring. It is so validating to know my fears and struggles to open my heart to my partner's children and his past relationships are normal and shared by others. It is so clear that if I don't focus on and put energy into the health of my relationship with my partner, then our ability to survive and thrive together is threatened and weakened. I love the questions offered to provoke thoughful, insightful talks. Thanks to this book, I've learned more about myself, some more helpful relationship tools, and a new, healthy perspective on the issues that come with merging lives.
Rating: Summary: Best book I've ever read on this topic Review: Having recently become a single parent, I found this book to be invaluable when entering a new relationship. It answers all the questions I had thought about but never asked. The book is written clearly and the wisdom is shared through stories that I relate to...so many of these books are so technical and clinical. I also find the questions offered for couples to discuss very helpful. Before I move forward into my next committed relationship, I plan to have lots of discussions prompted by many of these questions...so much to learn.
Rating: Summary: Wow!! Review: Here is the encouragement and advice many of us need to move forward in our lives along with the techniques and instructions to successfully deal with what faces us on a daily basis. There are so many factors that can complicate the life of a stepparent and 'Stepcoupling' addresses many of these problems head-on with real life stories and straightforward advice by ultimately proving that your marriage, as the foundation of your stepfamily, is the most important relationship you have. The book labels itself as a "manual" and if ever there was a stepfamily 'How-To', this is it! After you follow several couples' experiences throughout the book, you will find a great surprise in the last chapter that rounds out this book perfectly. The 'How-To' flows through 'Stepcoupling' not only through the authors' life experiences and stories from stepcouples, but also by letting you fill in the blanks with your own life by allowing you to share honesty about your feelings between the pages of the book and yourself.
Rating: Summary: Engaging, Educational and Very Helpful Review: I found this book to be an amazing resource and so very affirming. The information was presented in a "down to earth" style that made sense. Relationship dynamics that in the past had seemed complicated and overwhelming were made quite clear and understandable - especially in the use of the real life couples experiences as examples. This book is a great resource for all non traditional families. It is packed with loving, relationship affirming strategies and tools. It even helped with working out the issues around our "step pets"! I had many "light bulb" moments and highly recommend this book!
Rating: Summary: Engaging, Educational and Very Helpful Review: I found this book to be an amazing resource and so very affirming. The information was presented in a "down to earth" style that made sense. Relationship dynamics that in the past had seemed complicated and overwhelming were made quite clear and understandable - especially in the use of the real life couples experiences as examples. This book is a great resource for all non traditional families. It is packed with loving, relationship affirming strategies and tools. It even helped with working out the issues around our "step pets"! I had many "light bulb" moments and highly recommend this book!
Rating: Summary: readable, good introduction - and lacks key realities Review: I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to stepfamilies since 1981. I have been a stepfamily researcher since 1979, a stepgrandson, stepson, ex-stepfather, and stepbrother, an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and the author of six family-relations books focused on high-nurturance relationships and families.
I recommend 'Stepcoupling' to readers who want an interesting, readable, well-organized, well-illustrated overview of common *surface* stepfamily stressors. I do NOT recommend this book to people who seek to avoid or resolve the common *core* problems that cause most stepfamily (remarital and co-parenting) stress: See...
http://sfhelp.org/10/problems.htm
The authors are a veteran therapist and writer, and seasoned stepfamily co-parents. However - like most lay and clinical stepfamily authors (I have read over 350 books and articles since 1979) - Wisdom and Green do not acknowledge or examine why most readers will be unable to follow their 'common sense' suggestions - e.g. '...you must figure out how to make everyone feel like an insider' (p. 69) ; '...learn to let go of what you can't have and appreciate what you do have' (p. 159); '...set out to understand and support your partner' (p. 222).
There is value in this upbeat book for stepfamily newbies and general students. However, its practical (problem-solving and avoiding) value is severely limited by major omissions including:
1) mates' and ex-mates' significant psychological wounds;
2) blocked grief in adults and kids, and how identify and to reduce it;
3) mates' and ex-mates' unawareness of five key topics: (a) human personality formation and function, (b) high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities and norms.
4) needy, love-struck, unaware partners choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and...
5) little effective stepfamily help (classes, counseling, support groups) available in most communities and the media.
For more perspective on this review, see:
http://sfhelp.org/11/choose_bks.htm
Rating: Summary: Saved My Marriage -- and my Sanity Review: I married a man quite a lot older than me -- he had children and I did not. I had no idea the sudden imapact having four stepchildren would have on me -- and my marriage! Reading Stepcoupling was the first step to saving my marriage and my sanity. Susan Wisdom clearly understands all the complicated dynamics of the stepfamily -- from an uncooporative ex-spouse to angry stepchildren. She offers useful discussion guides, questionaires, exercises, and tried-and-true strategies to help parnters cope with the new responsibilities and challenges. Knowing that if the stepcouple remains strong and presents a unified position, then all the other challenges can be resolved made all the difference. My husband read the book too and from that point on we began the process of building a strong family.
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