Rating: 
Summary: Better than Spirited Child
Review: Although I found Kurcinka's first parenting book very helpful because of its child-friendly, logical approach to bettering your child's behavior (even though my son is not a "spirited" child) this one is much, much better. I love that she starts by positing the question, what sort of relationship do you want with your child when he's a teenager? Because if you want connection and trust instead of disconnection and distrust to be the defining qualities of that relationship, those authoritarian "do as I say not as I do", "I'm the parent so you WILL obey me" approaches are only effective in the short term. Kurcinka's is a much more sensible, reasonable, and compassionate approach, but be forewarned, it takes time, patience, consistency, and creativity.
Also, a big bonus for those of us with children who have sensory issues is that between her first and second books Kurcinka learned about sensory issues and sensory integration dysfunction. She only devotes three pages to it, but she explains it well. Moreover, this time around her advice to parents with kids who have this neurological problem isn't off-base, it's dead on. A child stressed by SI issues needs some of his stressors and pressures lessened or he will just be overwhelmed and unable to behave well. She talks the importance of sensory diet activities, which of course is crucial if you want your SID child to be able to behave well. Brava to Ms. Kurcinka for a fantastic guide to discipline!
Rating:
Summary: A Prescription for Peace: Getting a Handle on Emotions
Review: Based on Daniel Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence, and the author's own research in her practice, this book's basic premise is that conflicts in families can be resolved by understanding, recongnizing, and dealing with emotions effectively. Since these are skills wanting in many of us, the author suggests we teach our children and ourselves at the same time. Good advice.Carefully, patiently, she leads us through the basics: empathy, self calming, recongnizing feelings, listening, recognizing different temperaments and personality styles. Then she gives us the tools for coaching our children to become more effective in handling their feelings: to recognize them, name them, express them and seek a satisfactory resolution without being destructive to others. Nothing here is so revolutionary, but the approach of thinking about your child's difficult behavior as a cry for help in dealing with underlying emotions is incredibly helpful. Once you have tuned into this idea, it short-circuits your tendency to react to such behavior with knee-jerk, authoritarian stuff you are reading these books to avoid. You end up working with your child, not against him, and isn't that the point? Different parenting books work for different people. This might be the one for you. One caveat: the paper on this not inexpensive hardcover edition is cheap, cheap, and the type small and gray. You'd expect more from HarperCollins.
Rating:
Summary: THE attachment parenting book for the post-infancy years
Review: I am trained as a family therapist, am a long-time meditator and am raising both my girls in the attachment parenting style. This book added tremendously to my parenting abilities. Kurcinka answers my two most difficult questions: how do I stay connected to my child while discipling her? and how do I discipline without crushing my child's spirit and will? Her answers are straight-forward, detailed, and she adds loads of real life examples. Most basically she advocates honoring your child's (and your own) underlying emotional needs while remaining absolutely consisent with respect to standards. She gives us concrete tools to be both firm and kind, to raise assertive, respectful kids, and to build a strong relationship with them to rely on when we can no longer just put them in their room. This book has overhauled my relationship with my 3 year old within a week, and I will refer to it until my girls are past their teenage years. A must-read!
Rating:
Summary: A God-send!
Review: I felt like going into therapy to get help: all of the advice I got from other parents, teachers, and books helped only to a point. And reverting to the way I was brought up (yelling, spanking, and intimidating) only helped to increase the distance i felt growing between my son and I. This book was very easy to read and made sense to me. I now look at power struggles with a different perspective. The difficult part is reacting to my son in this new way - in the heat of the moment i sometimes still get drawn into the struggle. The times I have managed to approach power struggles as outlined in this book, I found my son cooperating with me and have felt a sense of hope that I am moving in the right direction.
Rating:
Summary: An Amazing parenting book!
Review: I learned more in the first two chapters than my six years (so far) of experience parenting. It is that incredibly eye-opening and insightful. I read real life situations and solutions. I learned how to better communicate with my child in a matter of days and the stress level around my home has drastically been reduced. I can even appreciate my children in a new light. Where was this book before? I wish they'd hand this out at the hospital as you leave with your baby because it's the best advice I've ever read. I know how to diffuse a situation, stay in charge and no one feels like the "loser".
Rating:
Summary: Everybody Wins
Review: I like the advice given in this book. I see an improvement in my relationship with my son on the days that I make an effort to follow the tips in this book. I wish I had read it earlier, I could have avoided a lot of melt downs!
Rating:
Summary: Great book!
Review: I like the advice given in this book. I see an improvement in my relationship with my son on the days that I make an effort to follow the tips in this book. I wish I had read it earlier, I could have avoided a lot of melt downs!
Rating: 
Summary: Parents: Listen to Yourself!
Review: Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (2000) author of `Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles', opts to shed light upon effective strategies she believes relate to different temperament styles. In this book Kurcinka suggests that parents play the role of an "Emotion Coach", that the parent "...enhances [the] child's emotional intelligence..." (Kurcinka, 2000). Kurcinka most openly expresses the fact that neither kids nor parents are perfect. While I did fine Kurcinka's drawling examples utterly tedious, she does nicely sum up each chapter with easy-to-understand tips and pointers. Kurcinka's identifies two kinds of parents and calls them "Emotion Coach" or "Intimidator". Failing to leave room for the middle ground, Kurcinka views parents either as "sensitive...and encouraging" (the Emotion Coach role), or "insensitive... and dominating" (the role of the Intimidator). It is my personal opinion that these labels could double as Barbara Coloroso's `Brick-wall' and `Backbone', as they could for Diane Baumrind's `Authoritarian' and `Authoritative'. While there is little difference between the 3 labeling systems, Kurcinka's mainly fails to illustrate:
1. a middle ground
2. a parenting style that alternates between `Emotion Coach' and `Intimidator'
3. a negligent parenting style
Therefore, if you considering purchasing Kurcinka's book for the family structure views, I suggest you go directly to the source and read Baumrind's books. Back to the roles...authoritative parents, emotion coaches, and backbone families attempt to establish meaningful attachments with all family members. Despite the fact that siblings can be raised in a similar manner, by the same parents, there are numerous children who grow up insecurely attached. Kurcinka attempts to shed light upon this not so unusual phenomenon, and refers to it as "a clash in temperament". Temperament is a person's behavioral style and characteristic way of responding.
Kurcinka's book differs from others on the market because it teaches parents to understand their own self, as well as their children's. According to Kurcinka, understanding your child's temperament and understanding your own (as a parent) is important because it "...is one of the real fuel sources that may lie behind the power struggles..." one experiences with their child. For example, if you find yourself easily able to adapt to new situations but your child appears to struggle with change chances are your temperaments are different. In this case, the child has difficulty with spontaneity and probably prefers a more regular schedule. It can be frustrating when you're not on the same page with your child, but Kurcinka offers some coaching tips that include knowing and accepting yourself, but listening to your child's feelings as well.
Rating: 
Summary: Parental Feedback wins for Life time Relationship
Review: Most of the parents adopt the system of 'Teaching skills' rathar than go through 'Teaching Life Essetial Skills'. Psychologists caution against casting children in specific roles: the quiet one, athletic one, smart one, clumsy one and even a negative type can provide harmful self image that a child may carry throughout his life. It is upto the parent to be an 'emotion coach' and teach the kids to cope up with situations of strengths and weaknesses and build up productive relationships.
In the Book 'Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles', Kurcinka offers unique approaches to solving the daily, and often draining, power struggles between the parent and the child. She views these conflicts as rich opportunities to teach the child essential life skills, like how to deal with strong emotions and problem solve strategies. The current problem lies in discipline and parents, not only fail to understand the behaviour patterns of kids but also fail to bring well mannered kids. Reasons maybe many leading to neglected parental duties. Understanding a child's temperament and understand own's style is necessary says the author. It always depends on how one takes the struggles - whether weigh it lighter or exaggerate things with end only getting much worse and the prob trigger to be a 'troubleshooter' and wind up to face challenging 'struggles'. Kurcinka focus on tips for parental approach and teach the child self respect and self control. Authority over the child never works and this is one thing not to miss out if a parent wish for a positive answer to 'How will I want my child to behave when he turns a teenager? Overall, a good parental feedback. It sure is a win for Life time parent-kid relationship.
Rating:
Summary: Absolutely terrific...
Review: Reading parenting books is practically a secret addiction of mine -- I read about one a month, sometimes more, and have read dozens since my son was born. Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It!(a great book) has held first place on my favorites list for the last three years, but Mary Kurcinka just knocked her off with Kids, Parents and Power Struggles. This is the best parenting book I've ever read and I highly, highly recommend it. I think the title was a little misleading -- the book wasn't as much about power struggles as it was about learning how to help your kids handle their emotions appropriately. It's also heavily oriented (not surprisingly, from the author of Raising Your Spirited Child) toward understanding your individual child -- his or her needs, temperament,and personality and how those factors affect behavior. The content is great. And the delivery is also wonderful. Kurcinka's writing style is clear, informative, thoughtful -- and fun!
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