Rating: 
Summary: Terrific book
Review: I can't believe no one has written this until now! Maybe the honor-your-father-and-mother injunctions of the bible and society go deeper than we think. I loved this book. It was incredibly well organized and vividly illustrated with real-life stories that, to be honest, were hard to read at times because they hit so close to home to my own childhood. The book was a very validating experience and I highly recommend it!
Rating:
Summary: I loved this book!
Review: I did not personally grow up controlled, but my husband had the most controlling father and mother on the planet. Their control still rubs off on our marriage and on our own children. Every time my husband has an interaction with either parent, he is depressed and angry for days and can be a bear to live with. And I really dislike taking our kids, age 3 and 8, around his parents because they are so toxic and narcissistic. When I saw this book reviewed in USA TODAY I immediately ordered it and devoured it. This book hits so close to home. The people profiled in it come alive in ways that are touching and sometimes painful to read about. The book gives wonderful suggestions on how to set boundaries with controlling parents -- or, in my case, parents-in-law. But more than anything, I thought this book so totally nails down exactly how controlling parents do their damage and why they do it. I have a much deeper understanding of why his parents are the way they are. It doesn't mean I like them any better, but at least I get a sense of where they are coming from. And that helps me get a sense of where my husband is coming from. My husband is now reading the book, so stay tuned.
Rating: 
Summary: Not very helpful
Review: I found this book disappointing -- I got a copy, went through it quickly, and shipped it right back. The problem, I decided, is that his definition of "controlling parents" is way too broad, encompassing just about ANY style of dysfunctional parenting. Yes, a flat-out abusive parent has "control issues," but in that case the problem and the remedy are both fairly clear-cut; by contrast, if you have a parent (as I did) who has a serious personality disorder involving control issues, but is also a caring and generous person whose behavior is admirable in other respects, separating out the good vs. bad effects on yourself is a far more intricate and difficult process. (It's like a broken bone vs. torn ligaments: both can be grouped as "ankle injuries," but in the first case you just slap on a cast; in the second case the cure is anything but straightforward.)
In my opinion, Dr. Neuharth spent far too much of the book rehashing material that has been well covered in dozens of other books -- abusive parents, alcoholics and other addicts, chaotic parenting styles, etc. While I don't disagree with his analyses, I think the book would have been far more helpful for more people if he'd focussed on how to repair the less obvious damage done by less flagrantly dysfunctional parents (which is what most of us have!). Again, his suggestions for how to help yourself are sound enough, but superficial: this section of the book would have been much more useful if he'd gone into more depth about remedies for less obvious types of psychological damage, and just provided a reading list about those well covered in the literature. Dr. Neuharth is evidently a kind, compassionate person who knows the subject thoroughly; but the book, by trying to be all things to all people, ends up being not terribly helpful to anyone.
Rating:
Summary: I wish this book had been written 15 years ago.
Review: I have been dealing with the damage caused by my controlling parents since I was 18. All my friends use to tell me, " It's in the past, get over it". Easy for those Jocks to say. My parents(both dad and "GOD FEARING" mother)used to say the classic lines: I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND I WILL TAKE YOU OUT, HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER..FOR YOUR DAYS SHALL BE LONGER, and my favorite YOU OWE ME LIFE. My biggest fears of getting married and having kids was that one day I will find myself saying one of those phrases to my children. Thanks to this book..I won't. The problem with people who grew up controlled(like myself) is that you find yourself doing the same thing to your siblings, your friends, or even your own children. Thats what happened to me. I could also write a book title "MY PERFECTIONISTIC BEHAVIOR and the FRIENDS I LOST. Kudos to Dr. Neuharth and thank-you for providing the book with exercises to help in the healing process. You are definetly a life-saver. I'm going to purchase the cassette also so I can play in my car and hear the good doctor's voice.
Rating:
Summary: I wish this book had been written 15 years ago.
Review: I have been dealing with the damage caused by my controlling parents since I was 18. All my friends use to tell me, " It's in the past, get over it". Easy for those Jocks to say. My parents(both dad and "GOD FEARING" mother)used to say the classic lines: I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND I WILL TAKE YOU OUT, HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER..FOR YOUR DAYS SHALL BE LONGER, and my favorite YOU OWE ME LIFE. My biggest fears of getting married and having kids was that one day I will find myself saying one of those phrases to my children. Thanks to this book..I won't. The problem with people who grew up controlled(like myself) is that you find yourself doing the same thing to your siblings, your friends, or even your own children. Thats what happened to me. I could also write a book title "MY PERFECTIONISTIC BEHAVIOR and the FRIENDS I LOST. Kudos to Dr. Neuharth and thank-you for providing the book with exercises to help in the healing process. You are definetly a life-saver. I'm going to purchase the cassette also so I can play in my car and hear the good doctor's voice.
Rating:
Summary: Opens your eyes
Review: I read this book in just a few days and I'm so glad I did. It helped me finally clearly see the problems of my childhood. I felt before that I had somehow gotten stuck while I was growing up. But aside from a vague feeling that my parents hadn't let me express myself much, I felt that *I* was flawed and had somehow messed things up for myself. I didn't make the connection until I read this book. It brought everything into focus for me, and I see now that my parents fit the descriptions of controlling parents to the letter. I answered "yes" on all but a few of the quiz questions. I can look back and see things now so clearly, how my parents controlled, limited and confused me in just about every aspect of life. I thought normal parenting was that way before, having nothing to compare it to. It helped me to validate my own experiences as a victim, and stop feeling that I was just over-reacting or too sensative. Society seems to say so strongly that it's wrong to blame others for your problems, that it's the easy way out - finally this book says that it's ok, and it's the truth. And yet the beauty of this book is that it doesn't condemn the parents who control their children. I came away from the book with a feeling of sympathy and kinship for my parents as children who went through horrible and painful childhoods of deaths and beatings and abuse. And I feel that one day after I have fully worked through my anger and pain of how my childhood was, I can forgive and find peace with my parents because now I understand why they were the way they were.
Rating:
Summary: EXCELLENT BOOK!
Review: I really enjoyed this book! I bought it one day and had it finished in less than 48 hours! I could really identify with the book. Well written and to the point. I really liked the examples and how you can go about getting out of being in that mode that Mom & Dad established. It is one of the the best books I ever bought and it is worth every penny! Anyone who has had controlling parents should definitely buy the book! Well worth the time and money!
Rating: 
Summary: Good overview of issues - but buy Toxic Parents first
Review: I would recommend this book to those that have problems from childhood or those that experience acting out behaviors like anger, controlling behaviors, etc. A better book is Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. Forward's book provides case studies and more impactful information.
Rating:
Summary: If you had controlling parents - please read this book
Review: If you had controlling parents, this book is one that you must read! It is indeed a life changing book.
This book is written with compassion, personal experience and years of research.
Controlling parenting and the effects on the psyche of the adult of such a childhood is enormous. However, this topic is not one that is often discussed. Therefore, adults of such childhood experiences often dwell with personal problems that are not understood within the proper context.
This book will lead you on a journey of self-discovery. It will tie together loose ends and make sense of unresolved issues and personal struggles. Dr. Neuharth helps the reader to understand that whatever personal issues they are facing, they can and will overcome them. The book discusses the different paths/resources one can take to begin the journey toward wholeness and health and encourages the reader to begin that journey.
The real work must be done once someone completes the book. They must decide what path they will choose to heal from their controlling childhoods and begin that journey.
Hats off to Dr. Neuharth for writing such a comprehensive compassionate and informative book that will set all who read it on the path to personal freedom and growth.
Rating:
Summary: A Wonderful Book
Review: It is amazing how well this book described my family. Control that was not as extreme as the author's examples, but rather, broad-based helped me realize that I had a problem that was lingering today. The survey inside confirmed this. I am literally a new person because of this book.
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