Rating: 
Summary: An eye and heart opener
Review: A few months ago I discovered that my wife was having an affair. A couple of weeks ago, searching Amazon for books on "affairs", I came across this book. My first reaction was "no way am I interested in forgiveness", but the reviews of other readers got me thinking about the idea that the goal of forgiveness was to free myself from the tyranny of the pain I was feeling. This book is great - it actually never occurred to me that I could find a way to separate myself from the feelings of retribution that have occupied all my thinking time since I found out about the affair. It is simply written - yes, a little repetitive - with a clear mesage that forgiveness is about the victim, not the perpetrator of the problem. I recommend it highly if you cannot move on and need to find some peace with yourself. A book that may be a gift for you.
Rating: 
Summary: Some Wisdom, Some Shortfalls
Review: Dr. Luskin does well to address how we tend to make scripts in our mind as to how others have hurt us, and then to continue to "rent-out space" to these toxic thoughts. This is a fine self-help book in addressing this dynamic. However, I would suggest that his approach is more about cognitive restructuring, or narrative therapy, than forgiveness. For deep hurts I would suggest looking elsewhere. Some of the many other forgiveness books that have come-out recently are better at addressing deep hurts in a more compelling manner.
Rating:
Summary: Forgive for Good is essential to personal growth!
Review: Dr. Luskin reveals the most important aspects of forgiveness in his book. He makes it simple and has wonderful real life examples that everyone can relate to in order to apply the principles to your life. This is a definite read for anyone wanting to grow personally and get on with their lives!
Rating:
Summary: Not Forgetting but Forgiving
Review: Forgive For Good does not say that we need to reconcile or make up with the people that have hurt us. Reconciliation and forgiveness are two different things. In accessible language, Dr. Luskin offers us a clear understanding of what it means to forgive. We learn that forgiveness is not about who caused the pain and why, but how we can move on with our choices and our lives. We can't control other people but we can control how we deal with the pain that has been caused in the past. This is what Forgive For Good is all about. This book offers us a proven approach to dealing with pain in our past and moving forward. We all know how easy it is to be stuck in the cycle of blame. With Forgive For Good, we aren't told to forget but rather to make choices about how we want to live in the present and future. Again, this is not about being a pushover or forgetting. Forgive For Good is about how we choose to deal with the anger and pain that someone or something has caused. We can let it ruin our lives or we can read Forgive For Good and make the right decisions for the here and now.
Rating:
Summary: Loved This Book!
Review: Forgive for Good is an invaluable tool for just about everyone. The methods Dr. Luskin teaches through his book are clear, easy to understand and implement, and incredibly powerful. The chapter in which he describes his work with the women from Northern Ireland who had lost loved ones in the fighting is so moving as to be life altering. The pain of these women, the horror of their experience, and finally their subsequent relief from some of the emotional pain they have carried for years is simply amazing.
For me, this book combined a practicality of everyday life with a gentle spirituality. I have already bought it for several friends and plan to use it as a tool in my life as well.
Rating:
Summary: A Fantastic Book
Review: Forgive For Good provides us with helpful, easy to follow tools to enhance our lives and relationships! Dr. Luskin writes in a friendly easy to read manner. This book has been useful to me both personaly and and in my work as a therapist. This is a book I will share with my friends, family and clients!
Rating:
Summary: A helpful, accessible book for people of all ages
Review: Forgive for Good really helped me reconcile some past issues and allowed me to move forward with my life. Dr. Luskin presents his information in such a clear, accessible, friendly manner that it's hard not to apply his teachings into everday life. I highly recommend this book!! I look forward to Dr. Luskin's next book.
Rating:
Summary: Simple but not simplistic.
Review: I bought three books on forgiveness and returned the other two. The people I needed to forgive ranged from my father for demanding to know why I "didn't get an A+" on a math exam for which I had ONLY received an A, as well as for not protecting me from the prying eyes of my younger brother as I was maturing into a woman, to the murderer of my roommate as well as his defense attorney the latter worked real hard at (and basically succeeded in) rattling my cage by showing me gruesome crime scene and autopsy photos of my beaten and strangled friend while I testified at the trial. I can and will explain my reasons for keeping this book and returning the others in two ways. THE TOUCHY-FEELY REASON
While reading this book (Forgive For Good) I felt understood, hopeful, calm, and, most important, forgiving, whereas when reading the other two books I quickly became bored and frustrated and had to work hard just to get through them. THE RATIONAL REASONS
a.
Forgive For Good, contrary to what some other customer reviewers have said, accepted right on page one that I had something to forgive and it immediately granted me "personal power" on a silver platter so I could proceed with the forgiving. Conversely, the other books were similar to most psychological self-help books I've read that focus the vast majority of their pages to figuring out whether or not I had really been a victim and just who was to blame for my problems and emphasised the probability that I would need outside help for years to do so. The first "step" in all three books is having someone validate our pain. In Forgive For Good, however, the author himself or the reader can do this and it is not a given that years of costly psychoanalysis is necessary just to get to this point. But, the other books were written seemingly with the expectation that people are so confused and ignorant of their own feelings that everyone needs professional help for years just to get to the point of being able to address the need to forgive. In fact, one of the books ENDS with warnings about how long the whole process will take and bluntly states that even after following every step in the extremely intensive process delineated in the book it can take years to feel better AFTER HAVING FORGIVEN. As I've already mentioned above, just reading Dr. Luskin's book gave me peace of mind and the ability to forgive. b.
Yes, Dr. Luskin does point out that my pain is directly related to my pre-existing expectations about what other people "should" say/do to me. And he does so in a very direct way. And, yes, sometimes this can be very hard to accept, or maybe even understand. And, believe it or not, any other truthful book about forgiveness, as well as your psychoanalyst, actually says the same thing - eventually. They won't tell you that you are to blame for your pain or that you should merely not feel it, but to get to the point where you can forgive and not be hurt anymore (or again) you must recognize your own power to change your own feelings, expectations, and behavior. Nobody else can change any of these things. You are a free human being. So is the person who did whatever hurt you.
Dr. Luskin merely starts where everyone else is going. c.
The case studies in Dr. Luskin's book are followed all through the book and are NOT composites. They are real people who really participated in his studies and you can read how EVERY STEP of the process impacted each person, sometimes dramatically differently than other people. Case studies in the other books, as in most other similar books, were composites. I say call them what they really are, fictional characters with histories made up by the authors. Composities are people who have never existed, never really had the histories the authors postulate, and don't prove a darn thing about the author's theories. They are, in sum, worthless. d.
Dr. Luskin writes very, very well. He reiterates and reminds. He uses the same phraseology for concepts all through the books instead of trying to come up with as many synonyms as possible to sound literate. In sum, this is THE BOOK you want to buy if you truly want to learn to forgive the painful experiences of your life. BAR NONE.
Rating:
Summary: Simple but not simplistic.
Review: I bought three books on forgiveness and returned the other two. The people I needed to forgive ranged from my father for demanding to know why I "didn't get an A+" on a math exam for which I had ONLY received an A, as well as for not protecting me from the prying eyes of my younger brother as I was maturing into a woman, to the murderer of my roommate as well as his defense attorney the latter worked real hard at (and basically succeeded in) rattling my cage by showing me gruesome crime scene and autopsy photos of my beaten and strangled friend while I testified at the trial. I can and will explain my reasons for keeping this book and returning the others in two ways. THE TOUCHY-FEELY REASON
While reading this book (Forgive For Good) I felt understood, hopeful, calm, and, most important, forgiving, whereas when reading the other two books I quickly became bored and frustrated and had to work hard just to get through them. THE RATIONAL REASONS
a.
Forgive For Good, contrary to what some other customer reviewers have said, accepted right on page one that I had something to forgive and it immediately granted me "personal power" on a silver platter so I could proceed with the forgiving. Conversely, the other books were similar to most psychological self-help books I've read that focus the vast majority of their pages to figuring out whether or not I had really been a victim and just who was to blame for my problems and emphasised the probability that I would need outside help for years to do so. The first "step" in all three books is having someone validate our pain. In Forgive For Good, however, the author himself or the reader can do this and it is not a given that years of costly psychoanalysis is necessary just to get to this point. But, the other books were written seemingly with the expectation that people are so confused and ignorant of their own feelings that everyone needs professional help for years just to get to the point of being able to address the need to forgive. In fact, one of the books ENDS with warnings about how long the whole process will take and bluntly states that even after following every step in the extremely intensive process delineated in the book it can take years to feel better AFTER HAVING FORGIVEN. As I've already mentioned above, just reading Dr. Luskin's book gave me peace of mind and the ability to forgive. b.
Yes, Dr. Luskin does point out that my pain is directly related to my pre-existing expectations about what other people "should" say/do to me. And he does so in a very direct way. And, yes, sometimes this can be very hard to accept, or maybe even understand. And, believe it or not, any other truthful book about forgiveness, as well as your psychoanalyst, actually says the same thing - eventually. They won't tell you that you are to blame for your pain or that you should merely not feel it, but to get to the point where you can forgive and not be hurt anymore (or again) you must recognize your own power to change your own feelings, expectations, and behavior. Nobody else can change any of these things. You are a free human being. So is the person who did whatever hurt you.
Dr. Luskin merely starts where everyone else is going. c.
The case studies in Dr. Luskin's book are followed all through the book and are NOT composites. They are real people who really participated in his studies and you can read how EVERY STEP of the process impacted each person, sometimes dramatically differently than other people. Case studies in the other books, as in most other similar books, were composites. I say call them what they really are, fictional characters with histories made up by the authors. Composities are people who have never existed, never really had the histories the authors postulate, and don't prove a darn thing about the author's theories. They are, in sum, worthless. d.
Dr. Luskin writes very, very well. He reiterates and reminds. He uses the same phraseology for concepts all through the books instead of trying to come up with as many synonyms as possible to sound literate. In sum, this is THE BOOK you want to buy if you truly want to learn to forgive the painful experiences of your life. BAR NONE.
Rating: 
Summary: I Forgive
Review: I forgive the author and the publisher of this book for creating a rather silly idea and putting it on paper. I forgive them for marketing this title to me and for trying to persuade me to buy it with their colorful copy, etc. I forgive them for bad writing, no creativity and a lack of thought when putting the book together. I forgive them and now go in peace!!
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