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Summary: Simple and easy to read - an excellent book
Review: A book, any book is only a collection of words on paper; it's the thoughts and beliefs of another person. As such a book can't change the way you behave. However, what it can do is provide you with the tools to enable you to make your own changes. For those who were children in a family where alcohol was used in an unhealthy manner there are a select groups of books that help provided the tools for such change - Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz is one of those books. This is a simple book, it avoids jargon and academic theories and as a result is clear to read and therefore easy to understand. The book will mean different things to different people, depending on experience and perspective. Therefore, Woititz herself suggests the book may be useful in a number of ways: To gain greater knowledge and understanding of what it means to be a child harmfully effected by a parent's use of alcohol. As a self-help guide, for use in an individual's move towards development and growth. As a basis for discussion groups for adult children of alcoholics. The book is broken down into four linked chapters: What happened to you as a child, What is happening to you now, Breaking the cycle and What about your children. Each chapter is short yet to the point (indeed the book is only 106 pages long) and gives the reader an insight into the there and thens, the here and nows and possibilities of the future. I grew up in a family where one of my parents used alcohol in a way that was destructive not only to her but to her children. As a child I had no idea of what to expect in my family - the only constant that I knew was that on a regular basis my mum would be drunk when I came home from school. I took on the role of the hero in my family - perhaps by my achievements somehow my family would be normal. My mum stopped drinking when I was ten but the seeds had already been sown for me, my patterns had been established. My script was to achieve and that's what I did: good in school and at sports, a Degree and a Masters, a counselling qualification, a series of relationships where I was the helper. And then it stopped, I began to realise that my life was shaped and often directed by the events of my childhood. Along with some therapy, books like Adult Children of Alcoholics enabled me to make some healthy and liberating changes in my life. I now work as a Counsellor for individuals with alcohol related problems. I use a lot of what is in this book as a theme to my work. I do this because there are truths in the book that will apply to many people who could be defined as adult children of alcoholics. My only criticism is that the book could be longer. It feels like the first part of a book about Adult Children of Alcoholics with the second part - an in-depth exploration into working through some of the major issues - mentioned but not expanded on. That aside, this is an excellent book. Use it as a signpost for the changes that you want to make in your life.
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Summary: The catalyst for a personal paradigm shift
Review: Before reading this book I had taken the terrifying step of seeing a therapist for my chronic depression and low self-esteem. Until you read a book like this it seems an alien concept that there might be people out there having almost exactly the same experiences. It's a short book so you have no excuse for not reading it. This book, so simple and accurate, will change the way you look at your life and perhaps change the way you live it. If you're the adult child of an alcoholic and you haven't looked for help do that first or do that in conjunction with reading this book. You have the rest of your life to live and this book brings to light a common problem in our society long left unrecognized and ignored.
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Summary: Anyone from a dysfunctional family should read this book!!!
Review: Catagorized as a adult child of a child of an alcoholic, the effect is just as devastating. For 38 years, life seemed so restless and tormenting. This book was an extreme help in spelling out the feelings that were felt but could not be put into words by an adult child who learned to shut out all emotions. A healing process begins as the tears begin to flow. This book is excellent! Thank you Janet.
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Summary: Great book, very helpful
Review: Every ACA to whom I've given this book tells me, after they've read it, "That's me." Perhaps the greatest advantage to this book is the ability it gives the reader to understand the often paradoxical world of the ACA.
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Summary: A gentle start on the road to recovery
Review: Excellent book for those who don't know why their lives are a mess, why they keep getting into abusive relationships, why they don't laugh & have fun like other people, people who tear themselves apart for every imagined or real mistake, those who feel inferior and worthless, those like me who have always guessed (often incorrectly) at what normal is. Finally here are the answers millions of people need to let go of their crippling past and rediscover their future--one they want to be part of instead of dreading more of the same misery. The authors have been where we are, they know what they are talking about, they are US too. They have experience, compassion & empathy. They lovingly & gently open the doors to the truth for us, and this book could cause you to feel sad, angry, bitter, depressed but the next page will fill you with realistic hope (not the irrational hopes we're used to), belief in a happy future for yourself, motivation to start the journey of recovery from childhood abuse, neglect, trauma, denial, pain, etc. There is a thorough section on recovery groups and what to expect, how it works and so on, so that strangers to recovery will know what to expect, and maybe feel better about taking that 1st step--going to a meeting, finding a therapist, joining a group, reading books & workbooks, reaching out to safe others for support & more. I highly recommend this book to any one from a substance-abuse type family background, but also to people from dysfunctional families as well since all of the same principles apply. I also recommend Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families to those who can't relate to an alcoholic background at all, but who maybe grew up with an over-eating parent, an absent father, a mentally ill caretaker, etc. This is a gentle start for even the most recovery-resistant person. For myself, this book helped me see myself as that little terrified, abused child who was helpless, needy, neglected & denied, and begin to want to love, hug & heal MY inner self instead of running to rescue everyone else, for a change. It's my turn, and thanks to that book I finally believe in my journey and my future. I hope you will take the step and see for yourself what truths lay waiting to bring you relief & understanding.
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Summary: Excellent book, but tough if you're in a bad place
Review: I began this book about 6 months into my recovery from a severe depressive episode. It was excellent, but I could not handle it. It brought on memories and nightmares I was not ready to face. I put it aside. About 6 months later, I picked it up again. This time I made it through with no problem, and learned a great deal about myself. I highly recommend this book to any ACoA in recovery.
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Summary: Quick, thought-provoking read; great recovery starting place
Review: I cried through this book because so much of it sounded like me. It was a painful process but at the same time brought a lot of relief to realize I am not alone and that I can get better. I completely recommend it to any ACoA, or loved one of an ACoA. I want to thank Janet Woititz for writing this book, it has made a huge difference in my life.
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Summary: Just Perfect
Review: I cry every time I read this bok, because everything it says is true. I always knew that I had problems but I couldn't link them with anything. Now that I have this book, however, I can relate to everything and now I know why I have such a low self esteem. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ADULT CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC! You would never think that your problems aren't your fault, but this book shows you otherwise! This book tells you So much about yourself that you would never ever know otherwise. It is a perfect work of literature.
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Summary: I didn't think I needed this book, but I did!
Review: I found this book in the early l980's. It was a door opener to my history, my identity, my relationship patterns (and failures), my addictions, etc. etc. Some books are turning points. This one is a MAJOR PIVOT! I encourage anyone who thinks they may remotely identify with this book to get it. Then go immediately to an Adult Children of Alcoholics 12-step meeting..even before it comes in the mail. And listen. Find out that you may be one of 4 family types: hero, mascot, rebel or invisible one. Find out that the "elephant in the living room" is alcholism and that its not your fault and that you couldn't stop it, prevent it, or rescue them or yourself from it. But find out what recovery is like..that there is life after trauma. This book will be a powerful guide to all thats been hurting you. God bless you in your journey! Go to at least six meetings before you decide its not for you. Take kleenex. And listen! Someone will tell your life story within six meetings. How to find a meeting? Call your local AA number and ask them where the ACOA or ACA meetings are. If they don't have them in your area, ask for CODA (codependents anonymous), if they don't have them, ask for Al-anon. But GO!!!
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Summary: But What Now?
Review: I guess I'm feeling angry after reading this book. After a lifetime of therapy, medication and hospitalizations, I find that my diagnosis was in a book. My father wasn't an alcoholic, but our family had all the patterns listed in the book--and I've ended up with all the symptoms but one. My complaints about the book (which won't change my rating of it): it does not address the very real paradox that medical professionals are obviously not trained to recognize or treat this! If so, why didn't even ONE refer me for this kind of help or mention a 12 Step Program, instead of throwing drugs and strange diagnosis in my face? Also, there are no lists of therapists in the book who are trained to help those of us who suffer and so, I don't have a clue what to do next. I wish the book would provide resources or a plan of action. Incredibly helpful book--but what now?
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