Rating: 
Summary: An Insightful Look at What Boys Should be Made Of
Review: I was reading this book as a way to understand my boys, but found new personal insights. Then the killings at Littleton Colorado occurred. As a father, and trained as a pediatrician, I find the "culture of cruelty" to be a distirbing influence on our children. Kindlon and Thompson, demostrate the effects the "culture of cruelty" has on individual boys. It is not hard to imagine the effect it had on those two boys. Without the language to express their emotions they resorted to the language taught by computer games, television and destructive music. The development of "emotional literacy" is a lifelong process, in Raising Cain, the authors explore the roles of various influences. Mothers have a special role in the early years as well developed in the chapter on mothers and sons. In the adolscent years this changes. The effect of a mother on the issues of new interpersonal and physical relationships is not explored in the chapter on "Romancing the Stone". As a son, I found reading the chapter on "Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance" introspective. In reading I was looking at my relationships with my sons and with my father. Who should read this book? Educators, mental health professionals, politicians, parents and boys should all be encouraged to read and explore the issues brought up by "Raising Cain". Perhaps if we took the issue of our son's emotional life as seriously as we take interscholastic sports events like Jonesboro and Littleton will not occur.
Rating:
Summary: excellent & complete - this book deserves wider attention!
Review: Anyone interested in or involved in teaching, coaching or raising boys must read this. Michael Thompson and Daniel Kindlon have done their research and work with boys. This book is timely, informative, and vitally important. This book will challenge the old notion that "boys will be boys!" as a way of forgiving their behaviors. It reminds us that boys are as complex in their emotions as any other human being. A must read.
Rating: 
Summary: teaches the importance of cultivating sensitivity in boys
Review: Any parent could benefit from reading this book. I find I am looking at my own sons in a different way and thinking more carefully about some of the attitudes and values they are receiving from me and the culture at large. I also recently read the book Our Guys by Bernard Lefkowitz, and it greatly reinforced the need to teach boys compassion and sensitivity. It is also an exciting page-turner, since it tells a true story about what can happen when boys succomb to pressure to be macho and cruel.
Rating: 
Summary: Okay book, but missing part of the point
Review: In this day and age, I would recommend reading any book that helped parents and educators in the way they taught boys. But I have to say that this book felt like a rehash of the old philosophy that if we just made boys more in-touch with their emotions, then they would grow up healthier (which is better argued in Pollack's book Real Boys). The book seems to say that a boy's biology plays little to no effect on their life, which is just a bizarre argument. Any parent who has boys and girls knows that boys and girls have different biological elements. It's easy to see, and instead of saying that biological differences that result in behavioral differences is a misogynistic argument, I think we need to see that it is both a matter of emotional and biological components that are going to help us help our boys (which is very well covered in The Wonder of Boys and A Fine Young Man by Gurian). I recommend we all read all of these books so that we can get as educated as possible, but this one just wasn't that compelling compared to the work of Gurian and Pollack.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent
Review: As a woman who had no brothers and am the mother of a 5 year old boy, with another on the way, I read this to hopefully learn something about boys. And did I! I was horrified to see that I myself had already started miseducating my son. Thanks for giving me your insights into the minds of troubled boys, and your suggestions to help prevent it.
Rating: 
Summary: Certain questionable recommendations for parents.
Review: I am a Ph.D. student in child psychology at UCLA, and have done most of my research on the parent-child relationship. The primary focus of Raising Cain, the need to help boys develop greater connection with their own emotions and those of others, is laudable. However, a few of the recommendations made to parents seem quite counter-productive.In the chapter on Mothers and Sons, the authors point out that many mothers become uncomfortable with physical touch with their sons sometime in pre-adolescence or soon thereafter. To the authors, this is unfortunate, and they recommend that mothers emphasize physical affection with sons at all age-periods. The authors reason that it is better to learn about good touch from mothers in a 'non-sexual' context than from other people, like coaches or "casual sex" partners. This advice seems lacking in research and clinical grounding. A crucial hurdle for boys is the development of emotional independence from their parents-- indeed, many consider this to be the fundamental goal of the second decade of life. A critical part of the development of an independent identity is a transition from a physical communication of needs and emotions in infancy and early childhood, to a verbal, non-physical means of communication of emotions later on that nurtures boys' emerging maturity. A transition from physical to verbal affection shows respect for boys' developing autonomy, which is closely connected with changing and maturity physical development. The misgivings of mothers about physical affection with pre-teen and early-teen boys is entirely understandable. They appear to have recognized that a lot of physical affection with mothers can be very confusing and potentially problematic for boys in middle childhood and later. The importance placed on helping boys get in touch with their emotions is a very positive message to be sending in the current era. Many of the methods advocated by the authors seem helpful and appropriate. However, the recommendation that parents and boys should increase physical affection does not take into account fundamental needs of boys to be given room to grow by turning more towards mature, verbal forms of affection. There is no research supporting the notion that an increase of physical affection is helpful to boys. Parents can help best by talking about emotions with boys and giving a lot of positive feedback about boys' activities and interests. Theres nothing to be gained in treating school-age boys like younger children and expressing affection in infantile ways.
Rating:
Summary: The need-to-read book about boys
Review: "The emotional life of boys" might seem like an oxymoron, but as these two authors ably demonstrate, young boys start out MORE emotionally expressive than girls. But by the time they're six years old, we've convinced them that being "a man" means being strong, silent, and "strong" -- -- and that feelings are for girls. The authors make a strong case that genes, hormones and brain development count for less in a boy's development than emotional education. Boys CAN be as empathetic, compassionate and expressive as girls -- if we give them the tools, and if we (fathers) give them models of emotionally whole men. After you read this book, you'll never see boys the same way. This book is a real eye and heart-opener. A must-read!
Rating:
Summary: An Insightful Look at What Boys Should be Made Of
Review: I was reading this book as a way to understand my boys, but found new personal insights. Then the killings at Littleton Colorado occurred. As a father, and trained as a pediatrician, I find the "culture of cruelty" to be a distirbing influence on our children. Kindlon and Thompson, demostrate the effects the "culture of cruelty" has on individual boys. It is not hard to imagine the effect it had on those two boys. Without the language to express their emotions they resorted to the language taught by computer games, television and destructive music. The development of "emotional literacy" is a lifelong process, in Raising Cain, the authors explore the roles of various influences. Mothers have a special role in the early years as well developed in the chapter on mothers and sons. In the adolscent years this changes. The effect of a mother on the issues of new interpersonal and physical relationships is not explored in the chapter on "Romancing the Stone". As a son, I found reading the chapter on "Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance" introspective. In reading I was looking at my relationships with my sons and with my father. Who should read this book? Educators, mental health professionals, politicians, parents and boys should all be encouraged to read and explore the issues brought up by "Raising Cain". Perhaps if we took the issue of our son's emotional life as seriously as we take interscholastic sports events like Jonesboro and Littleton will not occur.
Rating:
Summary: Raising Cain is one tough, enlightening read!
Review: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys co-authored by Teresa Barker. Two of the country's leading child psychologists share their experiences of working with boys & their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting - sad, afraid, angry & silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of boys at risk for suicide, alcohol & drug abuse, violence & loneliness. Kindlon & Thompson set out to answer this crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? Through moving case studies & up-to-date research, Raising Cain portrays generations of boys systematically herded away from their emotional life by adults & the peer "culture of cruelty"; receiving little encouragement to examine their emotions & develop qualities like compassion, sensitivity & affection. In Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance, Kindlon & Thompson open up the sad, sad wound of unrequited love. When a grown man cries in therapy, it is almost always about his father & his yearning for his father's love. Into that yearning has been fed decades of anger, sadness & shame. Why is it that fathers describe their sons as never listening, not understanding while their sons describe their fathers in similar terms of discontent? Why do sons rub their fathers the wrong way? Can fathers & sons have a close, loving relationship? How can they close the emotional gulf? Kindlon & Thompson have some good ideas, read'em & weep! Kindlon & Thompson identify the social & emotional challenges boys must encounter in school & the streets & show us how we can help boys cultivate emotional awareness, empathy & health. They offer us seven foundations of parenting, teaching & creating communities that respect & cultivate the inner life of boys. Read'em & weep, then practise them! Raising Cain is aptly titled for it is one tough book to read! There were portions I dreaded! I do, however, recommend it heartily even if you have no boys in your life - you must have brothers, husbands, co-workers, employees & bosses & this book goes a long, long way to explaining why modern people of the male gender behave the way they do. Do check out our Boy's Week of reviews & others on the inner life of boys & men.
Rating:
Summary: Good look into the emotional life of boys.
Review: I found this book to be very insightful and interesting. I had to read a book for a college psychology course and this was on the book list. The book is formatted in a very interesting way. The writers do not simply give you a buch of information about boys and their thoughts. They focuss on experiences and stories they have encountered with boys. They then use these experiences and interperet them and relate them to what they see as an area of concern for boys. Things they consider is emotions, violence, relationships, and boy sterotyping. Because it is almost a collection of stories the book continues to be very comelling. Like the cover states I would say that this is "...required reading for anyone raisin-or educating-a boy"
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