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Summary: Everyone should read this book.
Review: I found this book at the perfect time, as our son is almost 10 years old, and we are just beginning to see the changes occuring in his relationships and emotions. Reading this book has been extremely helpful in my understanding of what in going on in his world, so I can react in a more sensible way. It has also given me a better understanding of my husband. I generally turn away from psychology books. But I found this one very true to life, and applicable in many ways. I would love to see it circulated throughout PTO's of middle schools across the country.
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Summary: Sweet but oversimplified
Review: The authors of this book create a sweet cheerleader-like portrait of boys that attributes their only challenges to a lack of emotional range. It's really a one-note book and many of the vignettes in it seem superficial and don't ring true. I didn't like this book nearly as much as REAL BOYS by William Pollack. Pollack's book really shows us what it's like to be a boy in America today and gives lots of helpful hints to parents about what to do. I got numbed out reading Raising Cain and had to push myself to finish reading it.
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Summary: A Shared Responsibility
Review: I wish this book had been available to me when my three sons were boys, when I was coaching them and other boys, interacting with their male friends in social situations; also when I was teaching and coaching in two New England boarding schools over a period of 13 years. I am grateful for the book now as I interact with my young grandsons. The authors suggest how to protect "the emotional life of boys" and their counsel is invaluable. Most parents are well-prepared to provide food, shelter, and clothing to their children. Most grandparents do all they can to provide material assistance to their sons and daughters who are parents. My guess (only a guess) is that many parents and grandparents do not adequately understand a child's psyche...especially that of a boy. Even if so inclined, who has the time to read all the books and articles on the subject? Who knows which to read? Please understand that I do not consider myself qualified to evaluate the expertise of this book's authors. I have no idea which other books are also worthy of your consideration. But I can recommend this book highly to those who have recurring contact with boys. They include parents and grandparents, of course, but also other relatives, school administrators, classroom teachers, coaches, members of the clergy, adult leaders in organizations for boys (eg Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts), and healthcare providers. The book is well-written. The material is effectively organized. The content is mercifully free of elaborate theories and medical jargon. For those interested in this important subject (ie "protecting the emotional life of boys"), here is a single-volume source of useful information and practical advice.
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Summary: Made me think and worry more than most any book I've read
Review: I must say this book really shook me up. As a mother of 2 boys, I was upset to read about how cruel boys can be to each other as teens, and by how closed off they become from their emotions. The book did a wonderful job of pointing out the scary parts of raising boys, but in my opinion anyway did not do enough to answer the question they raise---how can we prevent all this awful stuff from happening? The advice given is what most parents would try to do anyway---keep the lines of communication open, be there but don't be smothering, etc. I would like to know more about how specifically I can help my sons weather childhood and grow into happy adults. After reading this book, I think one could get the impulse the only good way to do this is keep them home at all times away from all the cruelty!
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Summary: A great book!
Review: I am the mother of 3 boys - when my six year old began Kindergarten this year, he started to act different. I didn't understand what he was feeling. Afterall, arts and crafts in Kindergarten sounded great to me. Why couldn't he sit still for the activity? I desperately searched for some reading material that would help me to understand what he was going through. And I found it in this book. An easy read. A lot of great information for understanding boys and their behaviors and feelings. My son doesn't act different anymore - instead I act differently toward him and it's helped all of us.
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Summary: Outstanding
Review: I couldn't put this book down until I had finished reading it! It contains great case studies that are helpful in understanding the impact that teasing has on young boys, for example. As a mom, the material also helped me to better understand some things that are considered "normal" for boys and not be so quick to overreact. It covers the development of boys from age 5 through the teenage years. I cannot say enough about this book and I would STRONGLY recommend it to all parents.
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Summary: Dan and Mike take a Risk to improve society.
Review: This book suggests there is another opportunity for your son other than to emulate Rambo. Breaking the parent/son "discipline" cycle is now getting increasing recognition (Daniel Petrie "Father Time"; "Stiffed : The Betrayal of the American Man", Susan Faludi; et al) for what it is - a method of behaviour modification that has now passed its use-by date. Although there a passages that contradict each other (see other reviews on this site), Life itself contains contradictions and to expect a book based upon real-life experiences to not contain contradictions may be naive. Reading and identifying with the examples in this book will help parents more understand their children, and also fathers understand their own childhood. Self-Understanding and compassion leads to a richer and more enjoyable life. Based upon this, what's not to recommend?
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Summary: An informative and insightful book
Review: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, by Dan Kindlon, Ph.D. and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., is a book that captures the emotional struggles of adolescent boys in this day and age. It was fascinating in many regards to learn of the issues that boys deal with throughout the second decade of their lives, and how they deal with them. Raising Cain describes how boys desperately need a "clan" throughout their adolescence to help them grow and mature into emotionally healthy men. The book greatly emphasizes the importance of both a boy's father and mother, why these relationships are so extremely significant, and how parents can and should go about maintaining the strongest possible relationships with their sons. The book also explains boys' tendencies to keep things bottled up inside instead of talking about them, this being due to a lack of emotional vocabulary and the inability to express feelings. Boys, therefore, tend to suffer in silence or release negative feelings through anger or violence. Raising Cain does a great job of explaining how and why such behaviors exist in adolescent boys and how parents, educators, and mentors can help them through these challenging times in their lives. Although the book is very insightful, Raising Cain tends to over-emphasize the differences between the struggles and obstacles of adolescent boys and girls, and at many times, seems to pit them against one another in terms of which gender has it harder. This implicit competition makes the book frustrating to read at times. Overall, though, Raising Cain is a tremendously educational book, both from a professional perspective and a personal perspective.
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Summary: Very pertinent to how we raise our sons in this society.
Review: Very pertinent to how we raise our sons in our society. A must read by ever parent while their son is growing up. If you like this book, try Go West Old Man by Max Barnet, a true tale about a father/son trip across the country in a pickup truck, discovering each other, including their needs. A clash of generations resolving.
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Summary: A must-read for every parent and teacher.
Review: Kindlon and Thompson have written an insightful study of what's going wrong (and right) with our boys. With middle-school shootings and spouse abuse headlining our newspapers, this is a must-read for every parent and teacher. Besides having academic credentials, the authors have much experience as fathers and as counselors in private practice and in schools. The book is peppered with lively anecdotes to illustrate their theories. Because I had no brothers and therefore not much experience with boy-psychology, this book taught me a great deal about the culture of cruelty practiced by adolescent boys and why boys often brag, misuse girls, drink, and tease. The authors are not mere alarmists, however. They encourage us to provide safe, nurturing homes and classrooms for our boys, to help them understand feelings other than anger, resulting in sensitive, strong, and caring men.
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