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Summary: A Great How -To Without The Five Easy Steps
Review: After the birth of my first son I came upon this book when looking for "How To..." parenting books. I discovered a book that had much more depth than the average parenting manual. The authors weave their years of experience in the psychology of boys with true stories from years of counseling them. The most striking impression I had about Raising Cain was how well written it was. All the usual tedium that can accompany self-help books is lost with both form and content.
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Summary: If you have a son or you're a man, read this book
Review: One of the top ten of the zillions of books I have read in my life. Very moving book about raising boys, both as a father and a mother, and I learned a lot about myself as a man. Very special.
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Summary: A Plea to the Matriarchy
Review: We've all been raised to assume that we're living in a patriarchy, but patriarchy only begins when childhood ends; Before that, every person on Earth lives in a matriarchy. The percentage of men in elementary school classrooms and in daycare centers is about the same as the percentage of women in senate chambers and in corporate board rooms (and the one will never change without the other). The first fifteen years or so of our lives are spent almost exclusively in a female world, and the affect on boys is disastrous."Raising Cain" is nothing less than a plea to the matriarchal half of our society (and the men who relinquish to them) to discard the catastrophic dogma that boys should be dealt with as if they were substandard girls. If you read this as a woman, be prepared to discover that forty years of Feminism was only half the story. If you read this as a man, be prepared to cry for your father, for your brothers, for your sons, for yourself.
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Summary: Essential reading material for parents of boys
Review: My son is not yet two, but this book opened my eyes to the challenges he will have to face as he travels the journey to adulthood. I cannot recommend this book enough to parents of boys; for moms so they understand the psyche of boys, and for dads who struggled through the "culture of cruelty" and "emotional isolation" themselves. They can learn how to help their sons through it so that they can become strong, noble, empathetic men. I am sure this book will be a well worn resource in our home through the years.
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Summary: Unlocks the mystery of why boys do the things they do.
Review: After reading this book, I came to the conclusion that every hospital in the country ought to have a supply on hand to give out to new parents/caregivers upon the birth of a son, much like car dealers give you an owner's manual when you buy a car. Continuing on with the metaphor, after reading this book, I came to the conclusion that we know more about cars than we do about children! This book should be read by... *Anyone who has a son, regardless of whether your relationship with him is good or bad. This book will help you understand the dynamics of father/son, and mother/son relationships; insight that will be vital during the turbulent adolescent years. *Teachers, and administrators. Our educational system is so female dominated, that many of the well-intentioned ladies who come in contact with boys on a daily basis, have no clue what they are all about, and consequently, you see a disproportionate number of boys who are identified as having learning disabilities, get suspended, and/or otherwise in trouble at school. *Every father, since fathers typically and traditionally, yet tragically, leave all "emotional issues" for mom to address. No more slacking dads! It is time to start pulling your weight!! My heart ached after reading this book. It ached because with a little understanding, we would not see so many boys messed up. The authors of this book have made a wonderful contribution to the literature on child development and child rearing. Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that if we do not start doing better as parents, teachers, coaches, etc. etc. in helping our boys attain emotional literacy, the price in human terms will be incalculable. I can honestly say that after reading this book, I will never be able to look at boys the same way again. A truly outstanding book.
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Summary: This book will help boys become emotionally healthy men!!
Review: There has never been a book that has given me so much insight to a little boys world...how they think and how the world around them encourages them to be and think. I look back at my 14 year old son and wish that I had this book 10 years ago which would allow me to better deal with his emotional well-being. I had read Reviving Ophelia to help deal with my 15 year daughter but it did not have the dramatic effect this book had on dealing with my son. It has even helped me understand my husband better and how some of the men in my life were not emotionally healthy which could have saved me lots of time and tears. This book might even help women recognize emotionally healthy men. The examples in this book are so very real and helped me realize that boys are really never given a chance to experience feelings but rather forced to find a solution. I have recommended this to all my friends raising sons, teaching boys or anyone that interacts with children. This is the best self-help book I have ever picked up and will probably refer back to it millions of times before my son leaves for college and on to healthy relationships. Thanks to the authors for doing a beautiful job of tugging at my heart and helping me be a better mother!
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Summary: Raising Cain is one tough, enlightening read!
Review: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys co-authored by Teresa Barker. Two of the country's leading child psychologists share their experiences of working with boys & their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting - sad, afraid, angry & silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of boys at risk for suicide, alcohol & drug abuse, violence & loneliness. Kindlon & Thompson set out to answer this crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? Through moving case studies & up-to-date research, Raising Cain portrays generations of boys systematically herded away from their emotional life by adults & the peer "culture of cruelty"; receiving little encouragement to examine their emotions & develop qualities like compassion, sensitivity & affection. In Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance, Kindlon & Thompson open up the sad, sad wound of unrequited love. When a grown man cries in therapy, it is almost always about his father & his yearning for his father's love. Into that yearning has been fed decades of anger, sadness & shame. Why is it that fathers describe their sons as never listening, not understanding while their sons describe their fathers in similar terms of discontent? Why do sons rub their fathers the wrong way? Can fathers & sons have a close, loving relationship? How can they close the emotional gulf? Kindlon & Thompson have some good ideas, read'em & weep! Kindlon & Thompson identify the social & emotional challenges boys must encounter in school & the streets & show us how we can help boys cultivate emotional awareness, empathy & health. They offer us seven foundations of parenting, teaching & creating communities that respect & cultivate the inner life of boys. Read'em & weep, then practise them! Raising Cain is aptly titled for it is one tough book to read! There were portions I dreaded! I do, however, recommend it heartily even if you have no boys in your life - you must have brothers, husbands, co-workers, employees & bosses & this book goes a long, long way to explaining why modern people of the male gender behave the way they do. Do check out our Boy's Week of reviews & others on the inner life of boys & men.
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Summary: so important
Review: This book is so very important for anyone raising boys, anyone with influence over them. Please parents--read this now.
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Summary: It's no Reviving Ophelia
Review: Largely anecdotal, this book does little to enlighten regarding the problems little boys really face and, more importantly, how to solve them. I am even more troubled by the "namby pamby" approach--they are little boys, not little girls, after all.
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Summary: Tapping the Emotions of Boys
Review: When we talk about boys going through their childhood; we think of things like baseball, football, Power Rangers, and action figures. Boys seem as though you just wind them up and they go. When they fall over; you pick them up, dust them off and they go again. Although we wish that boys were deciphered this easily we all know that it is untrue. In actuality, boys are extremely complex. Boys have huge caverns of emotions within their chests, and for the most part, these caverns go untapped. Without delving into these untapped emotions of boys, we leave the boys very vulnerable. The book, Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon Ph.D. and Michael Thompson Ph.D. raises many questions and reaches significant conclusions pertaining to the protection of the emotional lives of boys. Raising Cain, attacks many issues that face boys. It helps us realize that in order to begin comprehension of boys, you must see inside the emotions those boys contain. Through scenarios in early education, discipline, father and son connection, mother and son connection, depression, suicide, addictions, love, anger and even violence Raising Cain, opens some of these supposedly forbidden chambers of a boy to caring eyes. All this in hopes to create healthier, more stable boys in the future. Through depictions of their own vast experiences with school-aged boys, Kindlon and Thompson have done a superb job in unraveling the internal thoughts and emotions boys hold. In conclusion, Raising Cain, not only helps us better understand boys, also being a young man myself, helped me question and affirm certain things pertaining to emotions that I have in my life. I would implore anyone who has concerns for boys to read this book. The lives of boys are intricate and fragile, and unless their emotions are handled with care they will break!
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