Rating: 
Summary: Live Saving
Review: This book is a must read for anyone who ends a relationship. In fact it is also a great gift to give a "new" couple. Having this information will prevent problems in the future. Many unanswered questions I had were answered. The workshop that goes along with it as well as the tapes are invaluable. Simply.....it saved my life!
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Summary: Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends
Review: This book is a self-help manual for those trying to recover from a divorce, or going through the process of divorce. "Rebuilding" is the feelings that surface during this trying and stressful period of your life are identified. It is comforting to read that we are not alone in our pain and confusion and that given the circumstances, the turmoil you are experiencing is quite normal. As each emotion is explored, the reasons for them are also examined. An example from another who has suffered the same misery is given, then the best part--what we can do with and about those upsetting, hurtful and sometimes hateful feelings that want to pull us under and drown us. The chapter continues to describe the emotional cycles the "dumpers" (the one ending the relationship) and the "Dumpee" (the one being rejected) go through. Fisher and Alberti acknowledge not everyone is going to react the same, but no one escapes the pain. No matter how we are affected, though, we must remember guilt and rejection are tied to feelings of self-worth and self-love. Build up these two areas, and we will be less devastated by life's inevitable rejections. The end of each chapter has a "How Are You Doing?" section. A list of questions will help us think our way through our dilemmas and offer ideas with which we can rebuild our lives. I like this book because it forces us to do something besides sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. There are ways to work through relationships that end, and we have the power and the tools to do it. We don't have to feel helpless. I like this book because it acknowledges we are not alone with our feelings. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We can go on to live a normal, happy life. It gives us hope.
Rating:
Summary: Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends
Review: This book is a self-help manual for those trying to recover from a divorce, or going through the process of divorce. "Rebuilding" is the feelings that surface during this trying and stressful period of your life are identified. It is comforting to read that we are not alone in our pain and confusion and that given the circumstances, the turmoil you are experiencing is quite normal. As each emotion is explored, the reasons for them are also examined. An example from another who has suffered the same misery is given, then the best part--what we can do with and about those upsetting, hurtful and sometimes hateful feelings that want to pull us under and drown us. The chapter continues to describe the emotional cycles the "dumpers" (the one ending the relationship) and the "Dumpee" (the one being rejected) go through. Fisher and Alberti acknowledge not everyone is going to react the same, but no one escapes the pain. No matter how we are affected, though, we must remember guilt and rejection are tied to feelings of self-worth and self-love. Build up these two areas, and we will be less devastated by life's inevitable rejections. The end of each chapter has a "How Are You Doing?" section. A list of questions will help us think our way through our dilemmas and offer ideas with which we can rebuild our lives. I like this book because it forces us to do something besides sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. There are ways to work through relationships that end, and we have the power and the tools to do it. We don't have to feel helpless. I like this book because it acknowledges we are not alone with our feelings. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We can go on to live a normal, happy life. It gives us hope.
Rating:
Summary: Climbing the mountain to peace of mind
Review: This book is a very helpful tool for anyone who is experiencing the pain and emotional turmoil of a break-up, whether you were married or not, whether you were the "Dumper" or "Dumpee." I especially liked the comparison of climbing the moutain, taking each level and learning those lessons at each level - and that sometimes you would come to an understanding at one level and as you moved up to the next, you may realize there was still more to learn "back there" where you had just left, at a lower level of the mountain. But the book ALLOWS you to understand that these feelings are a process, that there is no easy or orderly way to experience them, and that it's perfectly OK to step up the moutain and then back down a couple of steps, up again, down again - until you come to understand it all and allow yourself to experience that understanding. Each step helps you to deal with the last, and you don't have to "finish" in one area before you move onto the next. You learn in your own way and your own time, yet the words are always there to comfort, encourage and teach you. This book put it all in perspective for me, gave me permission to feel pain and confusion, and helped me through each phase of my struggle, reminding me of my worth and teaching me the most important lesson of all - which is to take care of and value myself. I recommend it highly.
Rating:
Summary: BUY THIS BOOK
Review: This book was absolutely invaluable to me during my separation and divorce. Don't be put off by the mountain-climbing analogy. This book outlined every emotion and process I went through, and gave me new ways of looking at the problems in my marriage. I honestly think I got as much out of "Rebuilding" as I did out of individual therapy and marriage counseling.
I bought "Rebuilding" for a friend who divorced at the same time I separated, and she hasn't stopped thanking me yet.
Hint: If you are recently separated and not sure about divorcing, read Appendix B first.
If you are separating or divorcing, BUY THIS BOOK. If you know someone who is separating or divorcing, BUY THEM THIS BOOK.
Rating:
Summary: great book!
Review: This book was recomended to me by a councelor after a bad break up with a boyfriend. I found it very helpful in identifying issues I needed to work out, some where surprises for me! Down to earth and warm reading. I'm re reading it now and seeing different info presented, you know, we only see what we want to see!
Rating:
Summary: Rebuilding: When your relationship ends
Review: This is a wonderful book. It helped me put myself back together better than I was before my relationship ended. It teaches you to communicate with the person who matters most- YOURSELF.
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Summary: Putting it all together
Review: This is an excellent book that puts it all together in one place; all the advices one is bound to receive. You must follow all the steps to the top of the mountain in order to achieve the real freedom necessary to either start a new relationship, or just remain alone but happy!
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Summary: finally a serious book about the end of a relationship
Review: This is by far the best book I've found about dealing with the pain and trauma of a relationship that has ended. It lays out nineteen stages that you're likely to go through, from denial and fear, through loneliness and rejection/guilt (including a discussion of the differences between being dumped and dumping), grief, anger, and then to the more positive stages of letting go, refinding one's self-worth, becoming more open, loving, trusting and finally finding purpose freedom.The book is based on years of experience in seminars for divorcees, and there are lots of examples that are well explained and discussed. There are also specific "assignments" for each stage. For instance, there are specific strategies for dealing with fear and anger, and these are very concrete and helpful. The book also suggests that "growing relationships" can be helpful while working through the aftermath of a serious relationship. Growing relationships can be friendships or sexual relationships, but the point is that they are open, honest, and that a main goal in the relationship is that the partners learn about themselves and each other here and now rather than building a long-term committed and stable relationship. I found it interesting to read about the differences between such a relationship and a conventional, committed, long-term stable relationship. It also freed me from thinking that I should immediately see any new relationship as a committed long-term relationship. There are other kinds too, and many of the authors' insights about growing relationships would also be useful in a long-term, committed relationship. Each chapter has a section about children's responses to their parents breaking up, in the stage the parents are in, and finally there's an appendix about how to have a healing separation, which is like a trial separation except both parties commit to working constructively towards their personal growth and their coming together again as a couple.
Rating:
Summary: Very helpful, informative book
Review: This is one of the first books that I buy for friends that are going through a divorce. My chapter of Parents Without Partners used this book for several years as our guide for the topics for our divorce/recovery support group. It was invaluable to me as a newcomer to the group and then later as one of the facilitators of the support group. It is very insightful & will explain the phases (building blocks) everyone goes through with divorce and recovery. It also helps you with coping skills that you can apply to more areas of your life than just divorce/recovery. I've found that the similar phases & rebuilding occur when you go through a job layoff, a death, or any other traumatic loss. I highly recommend this book.
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