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Summary: GET THIS BOOK if you love Ur kids and dont want to lose them
Review: I never thought it could happen to me, I was so close to my 3 boys, and they loved me. What happened? If I had read this, and heard about PAS earlier, maybe I would have been more insistant on getting my time with my kids. The ex has denied access so much, and now the kids are acting like I never thought they could. For the first time in his life, by boy won't look me in the eyes. And last week he said he did not want to see me. I read just the first 3 Chapters in this book so far, but am sure to read it all. Anyone who has an alienating ex needs this advice. I strongly urge you to read this book. Jeff
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Summary: With Thanks from a Mother Affected by PAS
Review: I read Divorce Poison in two nights. It's very easy reading which is credit to Dr. Warshak as this is not an easy topic to address. The book is compassionate, yet honest and truthful. Pros and cons for dealing with parential alienation syndrome are mentioned which is particularly helpful in trying to determine if one's response to the situation is positive or negative, helpful or more hurtful. The last chapter of the book entitled "Letting Go" was very sad and moved me to tears. Read this book for insights, inspiration, and the courage to do what's best for your children. Dr. Warshak cares. His book should be in every divorced person's library.
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Summary: I WISH WE WOULD HAVE HAD IT 12 YEARS AGO
Review: I thought I was reading our life story in Dr. Warshak's book!
I am a step-mother to three children and have three children.
I have found this book invalueable. We are a family where Alienation has permeated every aspect of our relationship's.
My husband's children who once spent half of their lives with us - suddenly cut us off. There half-sibling's were also cut off, no warning.
This book help's all memeber's of the family stop and think what role each of us play's in these situations. The book is also a great resource for extended family member's to understand how to properly react to alienation .
I also think that all attorney's , judge's , mental health professional's and teacher's should be required to read Dr. Warshak's book.
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Summary: Pro Custody Evaluator becomes victim of PAS
Review: I was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice (specializing in custody evaluations)who 'retired' to become a full-time mom 12 years ago. I saw and identified cases of alienation but the phraseology and science wasn't even what it is today which is still fledging and controversial. When it happened to me, my mistake was not to fight poison with poison, but to silently "take the high road." I figured two wrongs didn't make a right but the damage worsened.
Finally one year ago, when I decided to fight back by "countering lies with truth," I appealed to my child's school, feeling the need for support and oversight so as not to go too far. Incredulously, the lower school principal and school counselor turned me into Child Protective Services, believing the "revised version of reality" presented by my child, the father and stepmother. I was advised by the school's counselor to "go read a book on stubborn children." Fortunately, CPS saw the situation for exactly what it is and our own custody evaluator had the clinical accuity to recognise that my child "has the attributes of alienation." However, she had NOTHING to offer except to suggest individual therapy for me and for the stepmother. Making dozens of calls, I learned there are no supports out there. When you are a target parent, you are truly alone.
I inadvertently came across Dr. Warshak's book at a friend's house, read it throughout the night and have been handing out copies ever since to friends, therapists, and attorneys. I wish I had had it a year ago; it might well have prevented the situation or at least stemmed the damage which will take years to reverse. Last week I renewed my Clinical Social Work license and in 6 weeks I will base my first Parenting Support Group on the solid foundation of Dr. Warshak's work. If that isn't a testimony in favor of this masterful piece of work, I don't know what is. The book sells itself. Sharon Marie Chester, LCSW, Metairie, LA
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Summary: Nice directions for dealing with custody problems
Review: I'm a child psychologist who deals with custody cases (among other things), and I found this book to be surprisingly good. Lots of helpful hints, solid advice, and down-to-earth directions. It also is helpful to lawyers, judges, and psychologists dealing with custody in the courts. While I would quibble with some aspects of the book, I found it on the whole to be very helpful, and have recommended it to some of my patients and colleagues.
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Summary: The One Book on Divorce you Need to Read
Review: If you should read one book on divorce and the impact on children, this is the one! This outstanding book provides great advice for parents who are badmouthing other parents, as well as ways the target parents can combat this abuse. Unlike "experts" who have not researched the most effective ways of combatting this type of child abuse, Dr. Warshak has determined through studies that parents who do nothing and say nothing are at risk for eventually losing contact with their children. Dr. Warshak carefully navigates the misconception that alienation is typically a "woman thing" by citing examples of fathers who alienate. In doing this, the author is able to assure readers that the book is indeed written "in the best interests of children," and not for any gender-based political agenda. Dr. Warshak's outlook on children, parenting and custody is refreshing and should be required reading for every family court judge, every family law attorney and every person going through a divorce. The author argues very succinctly and very successful that the two parents who were so vital to the welfare and growth of the children during the marriage are just as vital after the divorce. He also illustrates how family courts and mental health experts remove children from the target parent at the first sign of alienation -- which is the exact opposite of what actually works in these cases. Dr. Warshak argues that target parents need time to rebuild this relationship -- to show that they are not the parent depicted in the diatribes of the parent who is attempting to alienate. Instead, courts typically accept irrational reasons from a child for not wanting to see a parent without examining the root causes for the alienation. Dr. Warshak carefully crafted a "how to" book for target parents, but, more importantly, he has helped all parents become better parents by encouraging them to examine their true motives for making negative statements about their former spouses. In doing so, this author has created a classic that must be read by anyone who truly cares about children and the impact that divorce has on them.
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Summary: My own PAS story
Review: My name is Christine. I have been dealing with being a custodial parent for 6 years and now for the last 6 years a non-custodial. I've been dealing with PAS (Parential Alienation Syndrome) for years. ... This book is a GREAT BOOK. Informative and very insightful as to the complexities of PAS. Dr. Warshak also keeps informed as to current legislation ...
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Summary: A Roadmap to Relief
Review: Not only will this book provide you with the tools to help your children and yourself, it will help you to understand why the alienating parent does the things they do. I have read many books and articles on alienation, Dr. Warshak's is far superior to anything I have seen thus far. The book is informative and based on his interaction with people suffering this devastating experience. It is not opinionated but honest and comforting. I went so far as to e-mail Dr. Warshak this last Saturday. We are relocating as soon as this custody nightmare is over and I wanted to find therapists that specialize in alienation issues near where we are moving. Dr. Warshak responded personally to my plea for help 3 hours later, not only giving me names of psychologists, but also giving me some reassuring advice. My husband and I have spent the last 4 months keeping quiet, on the advice of our attorney and family therapist, but we were wrong to do so. This book has taught us how to respond to our alienated children, while still taking the high road.
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Summary: But they tell me PARENTAL ALIENATION DOESN'T EXIST! ??
Review: POISON is unique in being the first pragmatic guide to focus in-depth on parental alienation syndrome in children, and parental alienation as a pattern of behavior for parents lacking a non-`co'parenting relationship with each other. Rich in anecdote and chock full of examples sure to evoke immediate identification in many users' own experience, it's refreshingly both hands-on oriented and even-handed: stressing the frequent mutuality and accidental qualities of alienation-engendering conduct in parents. I suspect however, many readers will find dissatisfying the tacit acceptance pervading the book, that the alienation game as currently played is inevitable or normal. Although pointed, seriously cautionary remarks are made about the selection and use of counselors, therapists, evaluators, and attorneys, an eerie---because it's untrue---sense of inhabiting a social and political vacuum infuses the bulk of the discussion. Particularly notably, Warshak dons kid-gloves when discussing the ``controversial'' nature of PA; it might be fairer to warn that in some locales the mere mention of the concept---let alone invocation of the `PA/PAS' denomination---is seen by the community as incendiary, and quite likely to be counter-productive unless handled with the utmost deftness.
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Summary: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Review: THERE ARE MANY WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS BOOK. I WONT WASTE YOUR TIME MAKING ANY MORE THAN THESE:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. BE OF COURAGE AND TAKE IT TO HEART THAT DR. WARSHAK CARED WHEN HE WROTE THESE THINGS.
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