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Summary: I'm and adoptee,a nd I thought it was great!!
Review: My name is Sandy, and i read this book. I thought it was wonderfully written. Maybe we don't want our adoptive parents to know all 20 things, but she really touched base on a few things. I know everyone has different feelings and each adoption, adoptee, and adoptive parent is different. I was reunited with my birthmom in 2000, and I had a great reunion...some aren't so lucky. I had adoptive parents who are very loving, and supportive. But, it was up to me to make them feel that way. I had to make sure they knew that I loved them first...and always will. Don't be afraid to talk to your adoptive parents. You are usually the only one who THINKS they will not understand. Most times they do. ....
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Summary: Helpful to Adoptive Parents and Adoptees Alike!
Review: I'm an adolescent adoptee, and although this book is written for adoptive parents, I found it extremely useful. Sherrie Eldridge touches on topics never even considered in other books that I have read about adoption. In her twenty statements from adopted children to their adoptive parents, she gives a voice to adoptees everywhere. She explains issues to parents that are sensitive to adopted children, while sharing personal stories and anecdotes that adoptees can truly identify with. Well-researched, well-written, and well-formatted, Sherrie Eldridge's book gives a personal look at the complex emotions that every member of an adoptive family has to deal with. I can personally identify with the chapters entitled "Birthdays May Be Difficlt for Me" and "Even If I Decide to Search for My Birth Family, I Will Always Want You to Be My Parents." I thought I was the only one who got depressed on my birthday! And I've been worried that bringing up the topic of searching to my parents would make them think I view them as inferior to my birth parents. I'm so lucky to have found this book at a time in my life when I truly felt alone in my experiences.
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Summary: Engligtened and Armed for Life!
Review: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew has given me, a middle-aged adoptee, much information relative to my life. At times while reading, I felt like someone was looking in my window and writing specifically about me. In some cases it gave me words to describe remote feelings. In other instances it went ahead with something I had already begun to understand and led me to my own personal conclusion. It identified my fears and worries and linked them to the specific cause. The book helped me to draw conclusions to thoughts and feelings I felt no one understood. I now have an appreciation for some of the attachments I've made that even I thought were strange; a comprehension that my parents were not equipped to handle and did not even know I had abandonment issues; I know that my birth parents put a baby up for adoption, not me; and I know that my extreme fear of rejection that still pops up from time to time is logical and can be handled. I am so grateful that I received this book as a gift and highly recommend it to anyone who is contenplating adoption or to adoptees. It is very easy to read and understand. I read it cover to cover in two sittings and then went back to take my time and think as I read. A great book.
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Summary: It was Okay!
Review: This book wasn't what I had hoped it to be. First of all the Author didn't explain her relationship with her parents. All we really knew was that they passed away and it was rocky during her teenage years. As an adoptive parent, I understand children feeling loss and misunderstood, but give us parents a break once in awhile. Most adoptive parents are wonderful, we seek help for the children when needed and change our whole life around to please the children in the family. Why do many Adult adoptees grow up unconnected with their adoptive parents? I just can't understand this and never will. I suppose children could stay with their birth parents and suffer through the drug addiction and alcoholism, let alone homelessness ect. But instead they get homes filled with love and parents who put them first.
I doubt, I will buy any other books from this Author.
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Summary: Don't take it all to heart
Review: This is an excellent book for all adoptive parents of children of all ages. My husband and I both have read this book, mostly before adopting our 9-month old son. Frankly, it scared us a bit learning of all the potential issues that face adopted children. I think the book has a lot of good information that makes us, as parents, aware of the POTENTIAL issues / challenges that adopted children MAY face. We feel it's important that we're able to recognize these things in the future. The author, in our opinion, takes everything to the extreme, which is good if we only take it in such a way that we are being informed of what CAN happen and not of what WILL happen. Every adopted child is different and reading this book has helped us to be able to recognize issues our son may have so we're using it as a guidebook. So, in a nut shell, don't let the information scare you, just let it make you aware. Excellent book! Get out the highlighter!
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Summary: My Review
Review: I wish I could have given my parents this book when I was a child! I wish it had been written in time to help them understand me better! A must-read for anyone considering adopting.
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Summary: I Wish For Every Adoptive Parent To Read This!
Review: Finally, a book that gently addresses the subtle issues of the adopted. I know it would have benefited my family growing up. It is written with both charm and ease--without any placing of blame. If you are thinking of adopting, this is one to add to your required reading list. (...)
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Summary: Wonderful Book!!!
Review: As an adult adoptee, I found this book very helpful, even though it is primarily written for adoptive parents. It helped me put words to many things I have dealt with throughout my life, but never had words to express! It is great to find out I am not alone in the things I struggle with!! Thanks, Sherrie, for a wonderful resource! I highly recommend this book for anyone touched by adoption, or those working with the triad in any way.
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Summary: Sound Guidance and Hope for Parents of Adopted Children
Review: From the first chapter of this book I was stunned at the insight Sherrie gave me into the hearts and minds of our four adopted children. As she described the hurts, the fears and the behaviors related to adoption wounds, it was as though she had been peeking into the life and struggles of our family. Many of the things she described in her book, we have seen played out in the lives of our children. Sherrie has given us sound guidance and hope that we can help our children come to terms with their adoption wounds. Thank you Sherrie for having the courage to speak the truth, both good and bad, about adoption.
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Summary: Wow -- quite a bit of insight.
Review: As the father of an adopted son, I did quite a bit of research on issues addressed in this book -- but never did I find a resource that addressed all of them in one place, and suggested strategies for adoptive parents to help their kids work through them. Having read the book, and then talked with several other adoptive families (including adults who were adopted as children), I find there are a lot of positives that can be gained by understanding what some children feel. However, as some others have pointed out, it seems that the negative feelings and aspects are stressed in this book. I do recommend this book for adoptive parents, but with the suggestion that they balance their research by getting a broad spectrum of information. While it's likely that adopted children may experience some of the feelings the author identifies, it's important to realize that some won't. It would be a disservice to individual adoptive families (and the children themselves) to create a "victim" identity when it's not appropriate. Every child is different, and this book is useful in making adoptive parents aware of the potential emotions encountered; it shouldn't be the only (or "end-all") resource.
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